Get Your Marriage On! with Dan Purcell

Welcome to part two of my conversation with Dr. Steven Snyder! In part one, we explored why sex is more than just physical--it's deeply emotional, even regressive (meaning you kind of get a little dumber and a lot happier when you're aroused). And we discuss why the best sex often begins with an awareness and emotional presence. In part two, we'll be diving back into this conversation. You'll get to hear about how to put all these pieces in real life, specifically about his two-step framework and, simmering, which we'll talk about. You'll hear stories from couples, who have put these actions into practice and we'll unpack how to deal with desire discrepancies in your marriage. Lastly, we'll figure out how to break free from performance pressure and how to make love worth having in what Dr. Steven Snyder calls lazy sex or simmering. And of course, don't forget to check out Part 1! *** If you'd like some more support in your marriage, and would like some coaching from our coaches, check out our program. And don't forget about our FREE facebook group. Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

When it comes to sexual arousal, many of us reach for that excited, giddy, sometimes silly, sometimes serious, joyful, fulfilling feelings in the company of someone else that matters so much to us. And how do you create a marriage relationship where there's room for two people to have a voice? And how do you create a sexual relationship where both people are excited and happy to be a part of it? Today's guest is Dr. Steven Snyder. He is a sex therapist from New York City, and the author of the book Love Worth Making, which I highly enjoyed. And I feel priviledged to host him on this podcast. Here's what you'll learn in the episode: Why the sexual feelings we crave matter to you A two-step approach to finding it easier to connect to sexual motivation What "lazy sex" is and how you could put it to action in your own life, especially if you're busy The importance of this concept called "simmering" to foster desire The surprising difference between giving and taking pleasure Note that this is a part one, so don't miss out on part two (available now!) *** If you'd like some more support in your marriage, and would like some coaching from our coaches, check out our program. And don't forget about our FREE facebook group. Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Let's be honest. Sexual fantasy is a weird part of being human. In this episode with my guest and fellow Get Your Marriage On coach, Amy Langford, we tackle real listener questions about sexual fantasy in marriage — the kind that stir up curiosity, shame, arousal, and everything in between. What does it mean when you’re turned on by something that goes against your values? What if your spouse says they don’t have any fantasies? Is it wrong to mentally engage with fiction or past experiences during sex? We talk about meanings in fantasies, how you can talk about them, and how you can use them for the good of your marriage. Whether you’re feeling confused, conflicted, or just curious, this episode is for you. *** If you'd like some more support in your marriage, and would like some coaching from mysef, Amy or our other coaches, check out our program. And don't forget about our FREE facebook group.

One pattern I've noticed about couples with great sex lives over the years is that they make time to be emotionally connected and make room for romance and fun in their marriage. A date night is a great way to do that and to make it easy, I've brought on a guest from The Dating Divas. This website has tons of the ideas for married couples to keep dating in their marriages, and today we're talking about seven sexy ideas for date nights for the summer. (And we even have a cheat sheet for you to access all the dates we talk about in this episode!) *** We hope you're enjoying the International Lovemaking Day Challenge on the Intimately Us app! You have until June 9 to complete challenges and be eligible for prizes! AND don't forget that you can enjoy the premium version of Intimately Us for FREE on June 9 and 10 in honor of Intimately Us's birthday!

Are there lessons we can learn from those that have gone through marital infidelity and use those lessons to improve our marriages today? I personally haven't dealt with this, but I know of many people that have just experienced the great heartache and the trouble that's come through infidelity in their marriage. So today I sat down with a longtime friend of mine and fellow marriage coach, Andrea Giles. She's experienced firsthand the heartbreaking reality of infidelity in marriage in her first marriage years ago. But she's come through it today able to help thousands of women work through the challenges associated with infidelity, as well as teaching many others how to affair-proof their marriages. Today you'll hear her emphasize the importance of prioritizing truth over peace, being honest with oneself, and creating a relationship where both partners can thrive fully. *** Don't miss out on our upcoming International Lovemaking Day challenge! Join this 9-day challenge to improve intimacy, connection, and fun in your marriage (and maybe even win a prize). All the details are in the Intimately Us app. The fun starts Sunday, June 1! Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

One thing I've noticed about higher desire wives: they feel so lonely. They think they're the only wife on the plane that has the higher desire for sex. They often talk about how they hear about their other lady friends complain about how their husbands are always pursuing them and wanting to have sex with them and how they're tired of that. And the higher desire wives themselves think, "If only my husband pursued me that way....Is something wrong with me? Did I marry the wrong person?" My great friend J. Parker join us on the episode today. She is the author of the blog Hot, Holy, Humorous and a new book called The Higher Desire Wife. She and I will be discussing these concerns and others expressed by a group of higher desire wives in our private Facebook group. So if you're the wife that's higher desire in your marriage, I just want to say you're very welcome here. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. And of course, we're gonna do a deep dive on and hopefully answer some of the questions you might in this episode. News and Resources We have a fun challenge coming up in June on the Intimately Us app--you won't want to miss the chance to earn prizes and get upgraded to the prime membership for free for a few days. So download the app to get ready today. Our men's and women's groups are in full swing and so are closed now, but feel free to get on the waiting list for our next cohort or check out the full program at getyourmarriageon.com/program/

In this episode, I'm getting specific with actionable tactics while answering questions about the following: I was a guest on a podcast titled From Mrs to Ms with Andrea. This was a fun, unscripted conversation and with her permission, I'm sharing a portion of that conversation with you today. We need your input! In a few weeks, I'll be doing another question and answer episode specifically on the topic of sexual fantasies as it relates to Christian couples and long-term marriages. And if you have a question you'd like me to prepare for that episode, please reach out to me on Instagram via direct message or send me an email (getyourmarriageon@gmail.com). I'd love to answer it on an upcoming episode. As always, if you and your spouse are looking to take intimacy in your marriage to the next level, check out my Get Your Marriage on Program, or contact me or my team about private coaching opportunities. I'm here for you to help you and your marriage grow stronger and closer and have a lot more fun together intimately. Lastly June 9th (that's 6/9 on a calendar) is a special day! It's the birthday of the Intimately Us app. It also International Love Making Day, and we want to celebrate with you with a fun challenge June 1-9! Download the Intimately Us app for all the info. We're going to have a challenge starting on June 1st, leading up to the ninth. And we have a lot of special prizes and lots of fun for you and your spouse. Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

This episode is all about priming your mind and relationship for great sex. Years ago, Dr. Morgan Cutlip, who is my guest on this episode today, made her first appearance on my podcast, (and if you want to listen to it, it's episode number 50). What she taught me then about the mental load made a deep impression on me. The mental load as it's often called, is this invisible, never ending to-do list, that is usually carried more by the wives than husbands in marriages, even if both spouses are working. It is the ever present mental load of things that are still works in progress that occupy the back of our mind. Not surprisingly, the mental load issue carries its effects into the intimate relationship, and this is what we get to explore today in depth on today's episode with Dr. Morgan Cutlip. I read her recently published book called A Better Share: How Couples Can Tackle the Mental Load For More Fun, Less Resentment, and Great Sex. We especially get to explore the great sex portion of her book in this episode. :-) I hope you enjoy this episode with Dr. Morgan Cutlip! *** Our team has put together a great resource to help you tackle the mental load in your relationship! And it's on sale for the month of May. Check it out! As always, if you're looking for help to take your marriage to the next level, check out our Get Your Marriage Program. Let us help you be the next success story! Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

I read an excellent book a few years ago. It's for parents talking to their kids about sex. There was a chapter towards the end of the book titled Honeymoon Horror Stories, which really caught my eye and changed the way I think about the importance of getting and teaching our next generation a solid sex education as part of their research for the book. The authors collected many true stories of Christian couples about their struggles with their first experiences with sex and other sexual struggles earlier in their marriage. As I read these sad stories, I realized many of these heartbreaking experiences could have been avoided or minimized if we just had a better sexual education or work to dispel the role that shame has, especially in discussing sexual concerns with one spouse. Newlywed or not, perhaps you have a quote unquote horror story of your own from your past, or one that you're working through right now. So today I wanna help you get through to your next level in your marriage by discussing a few solid principles regarding healthy sexuality. If you know someone that's soon to be married also, this would be an excellent resource to share with the soon to be bride and groom as well. My guest today prefers to remain anonymous, so I've changed her name and removed any identifying details, but she was amazing. She interviewed me for a special project she's doing for her church to help educate and strengthen the next generation of soon to be married couples. Isn't that noble? So she graciously allowed me to use portions of our interview for this podcast episode. By the way, later on in the episode, we're gonna refer to the five phases of a sexual relationship, which might seem out of context if you're due to this podcast. So I recommend you go listen to podcast episode number 224, which we released just a couple months ago where we discussed this principle in depth. It's a good episode to listen to and review also. Alright, let's talk about some fun and juicy topics about healthy married sex education.

Women's bodies and brains undergo large changes during puberty, childbirth and menopause. Just like how sexuality hasn't been talked about much in previous generations, at least not in a positive light, menopause also hasn't been a free topic of conversation. It might be a bit funny that a dude is doing an episode about menopause, but I'm really curious about this amazing natural process that women undergo. And I'm not the only one. We often have questions in our private Facebook group. I admit, with a little bit of humor, that most of the comments are from husbands desperate for answers, wondering where their wives libido went after she experienced menopause symptoms. We'll address this question among many others in this episode as I talk with my friend and fellow marriage and sex coach, Alisa DiLorenzo. She and her husband Tony, are the hosts of the incredible One Extraordinary Marriage Show and the author of several books. Coming up . . . Our wonderful small group men's and women's coaching programs start May 6th! Spots are limited to just 10 people per group, so sign up now to ensure your spot! Trust us, this program is intimacy changing! Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Today I want to talk to those who are in a marriage where sex pretty good but maybe a little monotonous at times. Maybe it feels like it's the same old, same old. You wanna kind of spice it up, but then there's other factors involved, including feeling tired. Perhaps it feels like maybe sex is good enough, but you'd really like get to the next great level. This is also an episode for those where you feel like you're really not into it, but you do sex anyway because you know it's good for your marriage or because your spouse wants it. And also for those who like sex, but they kind of sense their spouse is mostly just going through the motions for you. This episode is all about developing our eroticism (and no it's not a dirty word!). If you'd like some more guidance in developing your eroticism, book a call with me or check out our program! Referenced in the episode: Podcast episode with Francie Winslow: "Why Christians Should Be Having the Best Sex" (Episode 178) Podcast episode with Danielle Savory: "Blowjobs Aren't Just For Husbands" (Episode 137)

Ever play the game "Two Truths and a Lie"? (A person makes three statements, and you guess which two are factual and which one is false.) Well, we get to play that game today on our episode with my guests Sheila Wray Gregoire and her husband Keith (return guests to the Get Your Marriage On Podcast). The Gregoires completed extensive research, surveying thousands of Christian couples, and recently published their findings in a new book called The Marriage You Want. I've read this book and I think it's really well done, so I invited the Gregoires onto the podcast to share it with you. We talk about a lot of topics: sexual intimacy (of course), finances, sharing the mental load, and more. I hope you walk away from this episode with a few new insights and fresh ideas to improve intimacy and connection in your own marriage. And if you'd like a little extra help, myself and my team would love to meet with you and coach with you in our Get Your Marriage On Program. And as always, don't forget to check out the Intimately Us app. Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Have you ever received really bad marriage advice? Today I have the privilege of interviewing Kendra Nielson, a fellow marriage coach and therapist. Together we address common pieces of marriage advice that often miss the mark, such as "Never go to bed angry," or "Always put your spouse first," and "Your spouse should be your best friend." And of course we reinterpret these peices of advice for healthier marriage relationships. Understanding this is crucial in order to have a healthy sexual relationship as well. We just wrapped up our in-person couples retreat last weekend, and it was incredible! Seventeen couples from all over the United States and Canada joined us for four days of deep learning and connection. It was a great experience and I look forward to doing it again next year. So be sure to get on our waiting list. I hope you can be there too and have this experience with your spouse. Do you have a desire gap in your marriage? If you do, you're in good company. Just about every couple does. I'm going live on April 10th for a free webinar all about how to address the sexual desire gap in your marriage in a constructive, healthy way that makes your connection stronger instead of dividing you in your marriage.

I love helping couples through Get Your Marriage On to help them through challenges, to overcome issues in intimacy, and to walk away with feeling like they have a brand new lease on their marriage and realizing how much joy and fun that a good sexual relationship can bring. And one such couple is who I have on my podcast today: Jennifer and Jeff (names have been changed). They've been very generous and vulnerable to share their experience with their marriage journey with you. Some things to listen for: I hope this episode inspires you to look a little bit deeper within your heart and to build a stronger emotional and intimate connection with your spouse. This is a special episode and I'm grateful you get to hear it. News and Resources Free Live training on April 10th March Madness Fun Intimately Us App Free Masterclass: How to Fix Mismatched Sex Drives in Your Marriage (Without Therapy or Pressure) - Get a jumpstart in overcoming desire obstacles Get Your Marriage On Program - The perfect solution for couples to get the education from the retreat but on your own timeline. Besides education, you get the benefit of one-on-one coaching, group coaching, and a community to support you in your journey. Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Description

Everyone struggles with feelings of self-worth and self-acceptance from time to time. Our bodies are sacred; as the Bible says, we're created in God's image. Yet the enemy of our souls does what he can to discredit and devalue our worth, often by casting shade about our own body image. Today you get to meet Hope Orr, a skilled boudoir photographer, as we talk about her journey, experiences, and the profound impact boudoir photography has had on herself and her clients. I had the privilege of meeting Hope over six years ago through a business connection, and I'm so excited that you get to meet her today. Hope has a grace about her and you can tell she's a very caring individual. In this episode, you'll hear Hope share her personal battle with body image and toxic perfectionism, and how a spontaneous boudoir session changed her perspective on herself. She discusses the transformative power of boudoir photography, the importance of trust, and shares three principles that can help anyone embrace a positive self-image. The heart of this episode is about the deep personal and emotional journey and broader impact of embracing one's true self. News and Resources We're hiring! If you think you'd be a good fit for our brand as a brand ambassador and social media marketer, we've extended our deadline. Please check out the details and apply here! Last minute Couples Retreat spot can be yours for $500 off! We just had a last minute cancellation, and the generous couple has offered their deposit for another worthy couple to attend. Use code "payitforward" at checkout! Check out these testimonials on youtube! Intimately Us App Free Masterclass: How to Fix Mismatched Sex Drives in Your Marriage (Without Therapy or Pressure) - Get a jumpstart in overcoming desire obstacles Get Your Marriage On Program - The perfect solution for couples to get the education from the retreat but on your own timeline. Besides education, you get the benefit of one-on-one coaching, group coaching, and a community to support you in your journey. Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

A recurring theme I've noticed in over 200 episodes of the Get Your Marriage On podcast is that those who are willing to push themselves a little outside their comfort zone experience the most joy and growth in their relationships. And this is also consistent with my own experience. My guest today is Kaitlin Hawes. She's a mom and a wife with a great message. You'll get to hear about what inspired her to reconsider her level of enthusiasm for sexual connection in her marriage and what inspired her to try new things and how a willingness to be honest and vulnerable with her husband opened up new heights of life experiences for her. You'll also quickly figure out that Kaitlin is quite creative in and out of the bedroom. This episode is on the spicier side; we're gonna do a deep dive as we listen to her tips on how to make oral sex great for both men and women, along with the other fun adventures to try as a couple. I hope this episode inspires you to get creative in your own way, in your bedroom (or out of your bedroom!). News and Resources We're hiring! If you think you'd be a good fit for our brand as a brand ambassador and social media marketer, please check out the details and apply here! Last minute Couples Retreat spot can be yours for $500 off! We just had a last minute cancellation, and the generous couple has offered their deposit for another worthy couple to attend. Use code "payitforward" at checkout! Check out these testimonials on youtube! Intimately Us App Free Masterclass: How to Fix Mismatched Sex Drives in Your Marriage (Without Therapy or Pressure) - Get a jumpstart in overcoming desire obstacles Get Your Marriage On Program - The perfect solution for couples to get the education from the retreat but on your own timeline. Besides education, you get the benefit of one-on-one coaching, group coaching, and a community to support you in your journey. Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

If you were to pause and think about your very best sexual experiences that you've ever had, can you identify what made them so great? For many years, academics studying human sexuality at universities were primarily interested in figuring out what goes wrong in the bedroom so they can fix it and get back up to baseline functioning. But, the guest I interview in this episode took a very different approach: she didn't just want to study people who are experiencing sexual dysfunction, she wanted to study people with extraordinary sex lives and what they were doing right. Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz is a sex therapist and part of the faculty at the University of Ottawa. She's written several books (mostly textbooks for other sex therapists to read), but she wrote one book with Dr. Dana Menard for the rest of us called Magnificent Sex, sharing her breakthroughs and her research on how to acheive optimal sex. She is also the founder of OptimalSexualExperiences.com, a resource for group therapies all over. News & Resources We're hiring! If you think you'd be a good fit for our brand as a brand ambassador and social media marketer, please check out the details and apply here! Intimately Us App Free Masterclass: How to Fix Mismatched Sex Drives in Your Marriage (Without Therapy or Pressure) - Get a jumpstart in overcoming desire obstacles Get Your Marriage On Program - The perfect solution for couples to get the education from the retreat but on your own timeline. Besides education, you get the benefit of one-on-one coaching, group coaching, and a community to support you in your journey. Guides and workshops - Inexpensive learning opportunities about specific topics to improve your marriage and sex life. Private Facebook group - Christian Couples Improving Sex and Intimacy Let us help you get results like these amazing couples in 2025! Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Do you ever feel like a failure at sex? In this episode, I'll be breaking down why perfectionism is the enemy of good sex and how you can build a virtuous cycle of intimacy with small, consistent wins. I'll share real stories, practical strategies, and a fresh way to think about sex that takes the pressure off and brings the pleasure back. If you're ready to ditch the pass fail mentality in the bedroom and start experiencing deeper connection with your spouse, you won't want to miss this episode. Resources: Intimately Us app (free and paid versions) - a fun and easy way to increase novelty, get education, and increase communication and connection. Free Masterclass: How to Fix Mismatched Sex Drives in Your Marriage (Without Therapy or Pressure) - Get a jumpstart in overcoming desire obstacles Couples Retreat - An intensive, romantic, and life-changing weekend that will strengthen your marriage and sexual intimacy. Get Your Marriage On Program - The perfect solution for couples to get the education from the retreat but on your own timeline. Besides education, you get the benefit of one-on-one coaching, group coaching, and a community to support you in your journey. Small group cohorts within this program also offer intensive help and support. New men's and women's small groups are starting in January! Guides and workshops - Inexpensive learning opportunities about specific topics to improve your marriage and sex life. Private Facebook group - Christian Couples Improving Sex and Intimacy Let us help you get results like these amazing couples!

The number one libido killer is stress. And experiencing stress from time to time is just a part of life; however, there are skills out there that'll help you manage it better. One of the black belt sex tips I often teach is a concept called "calm the heck down," which, if you've listened to my podcast for a while, you'll see this theme popping up often. It's the ability to settle down within your own skin and be fully present in the moment. This, along with a few other skills, are essential to learning how to deeply emotionally connect with another person that you absolutely love. So I'm excited for our guest today: Denita Bremmer. She is an expert in somatics, which is a fancy word for the intersection of the mind, body and spirit. And she teaches how to listen to your body in a way that grounds and connects you so that you can reach new levels of love and intimacy in your relationships. By the end of this episode, you'll walk away with the following: And, of course, listen to the end for Denita is fantastic black belt sex tip! Coming up . . . Couples Retreat - An intensive, romantic, and life-changing weekend that will strengthen your marriage and sexual intimacy. Virtual Lovemaking Retreat - Easily accessible due to its virtual nature, this retreat on February 14th-15th is the perfect Valentines gift to you and your spouse! (Starts today! You can also register and get the recording to use another time.) Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.