Closeted: My Life as a Gay BYU Student
Jonathan Alder
My plan was simple. Serve a full-time mission. Graduate from BYU. Get married. Stick it out till death.
That’s not what happened.
I began school at BYU, hoping to strengthen my faith while I searched for love. That's when I met both Claire and Easton.
Claire was the girlfriend who offered a chance at eternal marriage but at the cost of my faith. Easton was the boy who promised a fresh perspective on life but at the risk to my schooling. I knew who I wanted, and who I was supposed to want.
Despite fearing I was gay, a faithful life was my only goal. But Bishop Stoll loomed over me with the power to remove me from BYU, making suicide an ever-more attractive escape.
I had embarked on an honest search for answers, but the fallout of my actions threatened to take away much more than my education.
Duration - 11h 3m.
Author - Jonathan Alder.
Narrator - Jonathan Alder.
Published Date - Sunday, 22 January 2023.
Copyright - © 2022 Jonathan Alder ©.
Location:
United States
Description:
My plan was simple. Serve a full-time mission. Graduate from BYU. Get married. Stick it out till death. That’s not what happened. I began school at BYU, hoping to strengthen my faith while I searched for love. That's when I met both Claire and Easton. Claire was the girlfriend who offered a chance at eternal marriage but at the cost of my faith. Easton was the boy who promised a fresh perspective on life but at the risk to my schooling. I knew who I wanted, and who I was supposed to want. Despite fearing I was gay, a faithful life was my only goal. But Bishop Stoll loomed over me with the power to remove me from BYU, making suicide an ever-more attractive escape. I had embarked on an honest search for answers, but the fallout of my actions threatened to take away much more than my education. Duration - 11h 3m. Author - Jonathan Alder. Narrator - Jonathan Alder. Published Date - Sunday, 22 January 2023. Copyright - © 2022 Jonathan Alder ©.
Language:
English
Opening Credits
Duration:00:00:11
Disclaimer
Duration:00:03:15
prologue
Duration:00:00:38
childhood
Duration:00:12:06
writing
Duration:00:17:11
returned missionary
Duration:00:17:37
part 1
Duration:00:01:24
barefoot social
Duration:00:10:04
ncmo
Duration:00:08:56
coming out
Duration:00:11:15
insta-straight
Duration:00:15:37
no homo
Duration:00:11:13
kind of maybe okay
Duration:00:11:17
one option for love
Duration:00:12:57
wholesome family fun
Duration:00:13:00
all one
Duration:00:09:19
mom
Duration:00:14:21
the plot sickens
Duration:00:12:29
an ending
Duration:00:08:24
part 2
Duration:00:01:20
new lifestyle, who dis?
Duration:00:14:51
firsts
Duration:00:11:44
so, this is what it's like
Duration:00:13:40
oh yeah, reality
Duration:00:11:33
people are scary
Duration:00:12:28
trying to be close
Duration:00:10:55
turkey trot
Duration:00:11:44
second only to murder
Duration:00:09:18
one does not simply bottom unprepared
Duration:00:10:36
avoidance
Duration:00:10:03
mas christ, please
Duration:00:08:25
part 3
Duration:00:01:12
so, where were we
Duration:00:12:14
confessions of a deranged homosexual
Duration:00:12:34
the looming misstep
Duration:00:09:43
discipline
Duration:00:10:12
roadblocks
Duration:00:07:38
trying to be nice
Duration:00:12:44
poems of lost love
Duration:00:11:36
#realTalk
Duration:00:14:06
how a glitter wrapped time bomb trips
Duration:00:09:36
part 4
Duration:00:01:11
faith
Duration:00:11:18
blasphemous temple tour
Duration:00:11:46
midnight milkshakes
Duration:00:10:10
ecclesiastical endorsement
Duration:00:08:56
someone else's ex
Duration:00:09:56
nilo
Duration:00:15:15
abuse
Duration:00:08:38
the point of essay
Duration:00:12:20
coping
Duration:00:16:21
feelings are dumb
Duration:00:14:49
part 5
Duration:00:01:36
shit, damn, fuck
Duration:00:12:10
all the fuss
Duration:00:10:06
conduct unbecoming
Duration:00:09:44
what was it for?
Duration:00:09:18
cannot be here
Duration:00:13:23
grades
Duration:00:10:46
growth
Duration:00:10:49
not so fast
Duration:00:06:39
a goodbye
Duration:00:12:29
all i wanted
Duration:00:11:31
sushi
Duration:00:08:44
About the author
Duration:00:00:10
Thank you
Duration:00:00:20
Notes
Duration:00:05:13
Ending Credits
Duration:00:00:22