The Luke and Pete Show

Today, Luke and Pete tackle life’s big questions: how much money would it take to make them disappear forever? A hundred quid would sort one of them, apparently. And whose teeth would look better in whose mouth? Elsewhere, Pete reminisces about the time he got hench for a bit, before he pitches the idea of having entrance music in the office like a WWE star. We also wonder if Elon Musk has daddy issues and Pete has a few words for scarily ambitious voiceover thief Charlie…not from Carlisle. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy Monday - it’s time for some more carefully curated nonsense. Luke recounts a bizarre standoff he had in Pret involving a truly odd policy #JusticeforMoore. We also get into the latest internet controversy swirling around our beloved Pete and blast through plenty of emails - including a listener who writes to us a few minutes before his vasectomy, an update on Norwich’s cultural impact and some breaking news concerning Stubbington Study Centre. Join us! Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete's latest predicament: finding appropriate places to urinate. Mainly because he's drinking upwards of nine litres of water a day. We work out how best to tackle that and dissect the most terrifying brunch experience imaginable. Plus, batteries aplenty and fixing kids' computers in the local neighbourhood. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, Luke and Pete stumble upon a truly baffling real estate listing — a London flat with a full-size swimming pool directly above a Chinese takeaway. What could possibly go wrong? The lads weigh up the pros and cons of living beneath an indoor ocean and debate whether they’d take the plunge. Elsewhere, Luke is horrified to learn that Donny refuses to moisturise, while Pete shares his survival guide for dealing with a toddler who has zero respect for bathroom privacy. Plus, the lads dissect Netflix’s new hit show Adolescence. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete’s gearing up for a deeply inconvenient 5 a.m. Jet2 flight, and Luke isn’t holding back on how much of a terrible idea that is. This sends the lads down memory lane as they relive their school trip adventures — leading to Luke’s tale of a hellish coach trip to Switzerland. Elsewhere, they weigh in on Tesla’s latest embarrassment, Musk’s ongoing public meltdown, and why some people just don’t seem to grasp the consequences of their own actions. Plus, Pete fully succumbs to AI madness as he uses deepfake technology to prank his mates in the worst possible way. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, we take a deep dive into Switch Bitch — Roald Dahl’s surprisingly adult collection of short stories — while Pete grapples with his confusion, and slight heartbreak, over why Quentin Blake didn’t stay loyal to Roald. Elsewhere, Pete explores the bizarre world of pay-to-shoplift experiences in Japan, sparking a debate on whether fake theft really scratches the same itch. Plus, the lads weigh in on the Angel Boys’ return to social media. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, Pete’s got a confession: years ago, he went to New York for a wedding but ended up battling a truly catastrophic case of constipation. Cue a desperate Walgreens enema purchase, a brutal two-and-a-half-week ordeal, and a story that Luke will not let him forget. Elsewhere, the lads dive into the misery of kitchen appliance repairs, with Luke recounting an awkward run-in with a deeply grumpy Zanussi repairman. Plus, a discussion on the baffling modern career of Neil Young somehow leads to Pete breaking into song—should he ditch podcasting for life as a Neil Young impersonator? Let us know! Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Luke wonders if he’s missing out on a lucrative career as a right-wing grifter, while Pete shares his latest YouTube algorithm nightmare — somehow featuring Bill Oddie discussing Jimmy Savile... Elsewhere, Pete reminisces about his childhood pet gerbils and the highly questionable method his dad used to control their ever-growing population. Plus, the lads revisit Pete’s infamous infant chip bowl helmet invention and debate whether chasing pigeons is a fundamental part of childhood. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, the guys tackle the moral dilemma of a man who saved 2.4 million babies with his blood donations — should he have charged for his life-saving plasma? Speaking of blood, Luke discusses the results of his recent at-home blood test, which, much to his delight, reveals an above-average testosterone level. Plus, the lads dive into the logistics of In the Night Garden Live after Pete boasts about his recent ticket purchase. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, Luke and Pete are all moustached up, comparing their freshly grown 'tashes to thatched roofs, and somehow spiral into the baffling logistics of maintaining a straw-covered house in 2025. Pete’s convinced today’s thatchers are just winging it... Then, the lads take a moment of silence for Skype before Luke gets absolutely ecstatic about the unexpected return of The Beta Band. Who knew he’d be this pumped about experimental psychedelic electronic progressive folk? Well, we did… obviously! Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete’s growing paranoia about the state of the world has him wondering if it’s time to start prepping with a lifetime supply of beans. Meanwhile, Luke’s more concerned about his mental decline — is he losing it, or is it just the menopause? Elsewhere, the lads take a deep dive into the baffling world of cosmetic procedures, from Turkey teeth to Botox, and debate whether they should get involved. Plus, an emailer writes in with an allegory about deep-fried chocolate bars, and Luke is horrified to learn about the state of Pete’s fridge. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The lads are back, kicking things off with the internet fallout they got from the horrific childhood story Pete told last week — turns out, Luke got all the messages while Pete somehow dodged the interrogation. Meanwhile, an entirely different horror emerges: the concept of a piss drawer. Could Pete introduce one into his household? Luke has… concerns. Elsewhere, Pete reports back from a trip to Kosovo, navigating local delicacies and questionable Airbnb etiquette. Meanwhile, Luke ponders whether decorators secretly judge your wallpaper choices before the lads attempt to decode the bizarre world of fat jabs. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Luke encounters a mystery vandal targeting Lime bikes with an unusual weapon—vomit. Was it a protest? A bizarre art installation? Or just someone having a really bad night? The investigation begins. Elsewhere, the lads revisit the ridiculousness of pubs shutting down over noise complaints, Pete gets roasted for his chaotic outfit choices, and they discuss the bizarre social media presence of Gordon Kindness—a man whose life appears to revolve around Greggs, diarrhoea updates, and questionable food choices. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The lads kick things off with the great Nepo Baby debate—where does nepotism actually end, and is being the niece of Gruffalo author Julia Donaldson enough to count? This, naturally, leads to an important clarification: Pete is not related to Mr. Beast or any other famous Donaldsons. But today's real highlight? A listener email about a truly unexpected photo mix-up involving a leaky balcony repair request… and a very intimate surprise. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete kicks things off with a deeply unsettling childhood memory—let’s just say it involves his dad, a used condom, and an innocent misunderstanding that still haunts him to this day. Luke, naturally, has many questions… Elsewhere, the lads tackle the great working-class dad salt obsession, and Pete recounts his trip to Hartlepool, where he received rockstar treatment at a retirement home just for bringing his baby. Then, before they go, they circle back to the infamous Bitcoin tip saga—because, apparently, the guy who lost millions in a landfill still isn’t ready to let it go. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The lads dive into the absurdity of modern reality TV, breaking down the viral Temptation Island moment where one man, Montoya, processes betrayal through a mix of heartbreak and deeply unnecessary cardio. Luke and Pete marvel at the sheer spectacle but can’t help but wonder—what have we done to ourselves as a society? Beyond that, they find time to dissect the Super Bowl halftime show, and a listener offers to send Pete a DIY fuzz pedal kit—which he’s already scheming to use for harmonised loops of the word “piss.” What could possibly go wrong? Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The lads kick off with their favourite internet cesspit—Nextdoor—where NIMBYs reign supreme, complaining about everything from faint giggles to morally questionable pub patrons. This sets Luke off on a raging rant about a recent article exposing how noise complaints are slowly strangling London’s nightlife. And just when you think they’ve had enough internet for one day, they dive headfirst into the wild world of online conspiracy theorists and have no choice but to marvel at their sheer lunacy—because apparently, the madness knows no bounds. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Luke reimagines Glastonbury, wondering why they’ve never done a live show there—until the conversation spirals into a full-blown business plan for a festival burger van. Speaking of food, Pete shares the tale of a very moist ostrich fillet he unearthed from the depths of his fridge, before revealing his wild lunch—trust us, you’ll never guess what he ate! Plus, of course, the lads can’t resist taking a swing at yet more Trump absurdity... Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The lads kick things off with a deep dive into the world of shameless grifters, debating why right-wing outrage merchants always seem to dominate online algorithms. Is Andrew Tate just projecting? And why is Ben Shapiro so obsessed with Barbie? Plus, Pete recounts his bizarre late-night encounter in a Soho public toilet… because, let’s be honest, it’s always Pete that finds himself in these situations, isn’t it? Tell us your wildest public toilet stories by emailing at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Should the lads start wearing makeup? Luke thinks he always looks sickly on camera, while Pete suggests a few injections might do the trick. If that fails, he’s considering tattooing his hairline instead. Elsewhere, Pete lays out his very specific travel MO: dawdling, dinner, and—most importantly—an ungodly hotel bathroom session upon arrival. Then, Luke adits he's surprised Pete's never late, but when he is, it's because he’s had a full-blown menty-b. Speaking of which, Luke nearly had one himself after losing his 20-year-old wallet for the first time in his life. And if that wasn’t enough, Pete geeks out over transacoustic guitars, and the lads debate whether Luke could pull off a moustache...Spoiler: he’s not convinced. Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.