The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

Why do kids do disruptive, annoying or maddening things? Usually when children behave badly, the first thing adults do is yell at them, tell them they're bad and dole out punishments. Developmental psychologist David Yeager says that's the wrong approach. Instead parents need work out why their child made bad decisions in the first place. David is the author of the book 10 to 25 and argues that we should work out what's at the root of bad behaviour in young people. Maybe they want to gain status with their peers, or crave more outlets to be social. Once adults work out these motivations, they can encourage their kids to find better ways to reach their goals without breaking the rules. This series on parenting coincides with Dr Laurie's new free online class, The Science of Wellbeing for Parents which is available now at Coursera.org. You can sign up at drlauriesantos.com/parents. Get ad-free episodes to The Happiness Lab by subscribing to Pushkin+ on Apple Podcasts or Pushkin.fm. Pushkin+ subscribers can access ad-free episodes, full audiobooks, exclusive binges, and bonus content for all Pushkin shows. Subscribe on Apple: apple.co/pushkin Subscribe on Pushkin: pushkin.fm/plus See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Clinical psychologist Dr Becky Kennedy thinks every child is “good inside” even when they’re behaving badly. So to tackle tantrums or rule-breaking, she argues that parents must set clear boundaries for acceptable behaviour, but also seek to understand why their children are misbehaving. If a child is acting "badly" because they are disappointed, sad, frustrated, jealous, or uncomfortable, then a parent's job is to help their kid deal with those feelings and build up more resilience to common emotions that they'll experience throughout life. Hear more of Dr Becky's parenting tips on her podcast Good Inside With Dr Becky This series on parenting coincides with Dr Laurie's new free online class, The Science of Wellbeing for Parents which is available now at Coursera.org. You can sign up at drlauriesantos.com/parents. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nordic countries are known to be happy - so should we all raise our children like the Scandinavians do? British parent Helen Russell moved to Denmark and was shocked that Danish children play outside in all weathers; are given knives and they're shown how to light matches. In her book The Danish Secret to Happy Kids: How the Viking Way of Raising Children Makes Them Happier, Healthier, and More Independent, Helen explains why play, risk and independence are the cornerstones of "viking" parenting. This series on parenting coincides with Dr Laurie's new free online class, The Science of Wellbeing for Parents which is available now at Coursera.org. You can sign up at drlauriesantos.com/parents. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Parents are never perfect - but their mistakes can have a lasting impact on their children. We all carry with us ideas and attitudes planted in us during childhood - and they're not always very helpful for leading a happy life. How can we unlearn some of these things and also prevent ourselves from passing them on if we have kids? Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach have raised three children together - so have lots of thoughts on this topic. The couple behind the hit podcast We Can Do Hard Things (and a new book We Can Do Hard Things) tell Dr Laurie how they've learned from their upbringings and decided to do a better job with their own family. Get ad-free episodes to The Happiness Lab by subscribing to Pushkin+ on Apple Podcasts or Pushkin.fm. Pushkin+ subscribers can access ad-free episodes, full audiobooks, exclusive binges, and bonus content for all Pushkin shows. Subscribe on Apple: apple.co/pushkin Subscribe on Pushkin: pushkin.fm/plus See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Too many parents feel “exhausted, burned out, and perpetually behind” according to the former US Surgeon General Dr Vivek Murthy. He says more needs to be done to protect parental mental health. Vivek talks to Dr Laurie about his experience as a dad and the loneliness, guilt and shame parents can feel as they struggle with the challenges of raising children. This series on parenting coincides with Dr Laurie's new free online class, The Science of Wellbeing for Parents which is available now at Coursera.org. You can sign up at drlauriesantos.com/parents. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In a special episode brought to you by Chase for Business, Dr Laurie joins Ben Walter - CEO of Chase for Business and host of The Unshakeables podcast - to talk about resilience. Dr. Laurie and Ben explore the story of Benjamin Haugh, founder of All Nation Restoration in Austin, Texas. Benjamin had a difficult start in life, born into a deeply repressive community where he felt unloved and unappreciated. Despite massive adversity, he went on to become a pillar of the Austin community. Through his emergency restoration company, Benjamin is helping people rebuild and recover when disaster strikes – an experience that can teach us so much about being resilient. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There are many benefits to being an optimist - particularly when things go wrong in our lives. But we aren't all naturally optimistic, so can we learn to adopt the best and most positive behaviours of born optimists? Through treating New Yorkers caught up in the 9/11 attacks, psychiatrist Dr Sue Varma developed a concept she calls "practical optimism". She shares her tips on how we can all be more optimistic in the face of life's challenges. Read more in Sue's book Practical Optimism: The Art, Science, and Practice of Exceptional Well-Being Get ad-free episodes to The Happiness Lab by subscribing to Pushkin+ on Apple Podcasts or Pushkin.fm. Pushkin+ subscribers can access ad-free episodes, full audiobooks, exclusive binges, and bonus content for all Pushkin shows. Subscribe on Apple: apple.co/pushkin Subscribe on Pushkin: pushkin.fm/plus See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Author and vlogger John Green looks around the world and sees a lot of things that suck. But rather than giving in to despair, he's trying to develop a sense of hope. He says the most "punk rock" thing to do is tackle our problems head-on. John embraces the motto: "Human beings can be good news!" In a live discussion with Dr Laurie, he explains that if we work together we can decrease the suck in the world and increase the awesome. This live event marked the publication of John's new book Everything is Tuberculosis - which argues that TB is a global disease that we can conquer right now if we put in a little bit of combined effort. Happiness Lab listeners have already raised tens of thousands of dollar to fight TB by donating to our appeal at GiveDirectly.org/tb. Get ad-free episodes to The Happiness Lab by subscribing to Pushkin+ on Apple Podcasts or Pushkin.fm. Pushkin+ subscribers can access ad-free episodes, full audiobooks, exclusive binges, and bonus content for all Pushkin shows. Subscribe on Apple: apple.co/pushkin Subscribe on Pushkin: pushkin.fm/plus See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Best-selling author John Green wants to see less suck in the world and more awesome - and you can help achieve that right now! John's turned his attention to tuberculosis (TB) - a disease that is fixable and yet still kills millions of people. But you can stop that. TB is a disease of poverty - so if you can spare a buck, then you can save lives by donating to GiveDirectly.org/tb Giving to help others is proven to make us feel happier and more hopeful in tough times, so Dr Laurie will match every dollar up to the first $10,000, and John will match donations up to $10,000 after that. It's a bad time for people everywhere - but even a dollar donated at GiveDirectly.org/tb will reduce the suck and increase the awesome. John's new book Everything is Tuberculosis is out now. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

"What can we do to find hope when times are tough?" That was the question posed to Dr Laurie for a live recording of IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson at the 2025 SXSW festival. Dr Laurie explained what science says about retaining hope and how we can act in ways that make us feel better even in bleak times - and the former First Lady shared her tips for staying hopeful. IMO is a new show hosted by Michelle and her brother Craig - with guests ranging from Jay Shetty to Seth Rogen. Listen to IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson wherever you get your podcasts. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sometimes a two-week vacation just isn't enough - we all might need to leave our jobs for three months, six months or even a year. Taking an extended break can be great for our wellbeing - allowing us to recharge our batteries and reassess our priorities. But for most of us taking a sabbatical feels impossible - so live at SXSW Dr Laurie asked the advice of sabbaticals expert DJ DiDonna. DJ teaches at Harvard Business School and founded The Sabbatical Project - but in a past life he established a hectic start-up and eventually found he was badly in need of an extended career break. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr Laurie was invited by her pal Gretchen Rubin to appear on a special edition of the More Happier podcast to examine friendship. The two old friends were joined in their discussion by a new friend, Reshma Saujani (founder of Girls Who Code and Moms First and host of the podcast My So-Called Midlife). The trio talked about how our friendships change over time, how to handle conflict, and how to make new friends in adulthood. Listen to Gretchen's show Happier with Gretchen Rubin and More Happier - and Reshma's My So-Called Midlife - wherever you get your podcast See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There are so many happiness lessons to remember - but it helps if we can boil them down into memorable little sayings. Happiness expert Gretchen Rubin has done exactly that in her latest book - Secrets of Adulthood. Dr Laurie picked twelve of her favorite aphorisms from the book and invited Gretchen along to explore sayings such as “Happiness doesn't always make us feel happy” and “Accept yourself and expect more from yourself”. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do you trust your government? Do you trust your neighbors or the strangers you meet on the street? Do you trust the media? Or your teachers? Who we trust is changing. And trust in our institutions and our fellow citizens is in steep decline. That's according to the World Happiness Report. Who we trust can have a huge impact on our behavior and our happiness. So what's behind the dramatic changes in how we trust? And can we learn to trust in a smarter way? We ask advice from Rachel Botsman, the Trust Fellow at Oxford University's Saïd Business School and author of How to Trust and Be Trusted. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's the International Day of Happiness! It's a chance to talk about happiness and what we can all do to be happier. March 20th also sees the release of the World Happiness Report. A big finding of 2025's report is that more of us are dining alone - and that's bad news. The report's editor Jan-Emmanuel De Neve talks us through the stark figures showing that shared meals are in decline - while Dr Anne Fishel of The Family Dinner Project gives us her tips on how to dine better with friends, families and colleagues. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Earth Day is coming on April 22, but the whole month is seen as an opportunity to think about environmental issues and what we as individuals can do to help out. It seemed like a good time to rerun an episode we made with Harvard professor Dan Gilbert about why we humans are great at tackling immediate threats, but find it harder to motivate ourselves to address problems that seem a longer way off. It's why we often don't save for our retirements, and why we're finding it difficult to take action on climate change. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hell is other people. They can upset us, depress us and infuriate us. Their bad moods can bring us down. And their achievements can make us feel like failures. But it doesn't have to be this way. Psychologist Ethan Kross says there are simple things we can do to make our daily interactions a source of fulfilment and joy. Ethan's the author of Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don't Manage You and founder of the Emotion and Self Control Lab at the University of Michigan Recorded before a live audience of teen students at Choate Rosemary Hall. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's your purpose? Jordan Grumet thought that becoming a doctor would give his life meaning and direction... but he was wrong. He spent his days doing things he didn't really enjoy and dreaded waking up in the morning. Finding a purpose that is authentic to you can be transformative - and it doesn't have to be some grand goal like curing a disease or founding a company. Jordan, author of The Purpose Code, explains how we can all find seemingly small and everyday activities which will fill our lives with joy and fulfillment. Jordan also hosts the Earn & Invest podcast. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Leaders aren't just generals, presidents and CEOs. You're probably a leader too! Someone in your home, school or workplace might look to you for guidance - and that's leading. So how do you inspire the people around you and make yourself the best leader you can be? Columbia Business School's Adam Galinsky (author of Inspire: The Universal Path for Leading Yourself and Others) reckons we can all learn simple lessons that will make us better and more encouraging colleagues, parents and friends. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

To improve your life you might decide to prioritize your own personal happiness, or find meaning in helping the people around you. Few of us consider pushing ourselves well beyond our comfort zones. It might take a lot of effort and risks pain or disappointment. University of Chicago professor Shige Oishi thinks to live fully we all need to push ourselves to find "psychological richness". He tells Dr Laurie that we should look for daily opportunities to explore, get lost, mess around and have random encounters that challenge our routines and expectations. Read more about Shige's work in Life in Three Dimensions: How Curiosity, Exploration and Experience Make a Fuller, Better Life. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.