Kagro in the Morning

This weekend KITM Headquarters sent David Waldman and Greg Dworkin an email directing them to list five ways that they contribute to the civil discourse. These overachievers came up with something like two hours' worth! Gop town halls are experiencing F5 blowback from constituents, but it’s a gentle breeze compared to what they’re expecting to be hit with soon. This is the kind of thing local news loves to cover, and local protesters love to attend. People in power may want to hide, but for people who want to be in power, town halls are the place to be seen. Suddenly, no one wants to take credit for their thugs. Never Trump Republicans are divided on a host of issues but know how to get in front of a camera. They are enough of a threat to this administration to earn immediate attention from the Brown Shirts. On the other hand, Democrats are unifying behind nearby hedges to work on their guacamole bar charts, as their “Hope” poster mostly refers to the Second Law of Thermodynamics. Ok, there is Senator Chris Murphy. Other than that, Donald K. Trump’s worst enemy is himself, and he’s doing a simply incredible job. He and Elon, of course. The only people they hate more than themselves are all the other people. With Dan Bongino and Pete Hegseth FA, there won’t be any left to FO. We are, as usual, heading towards a government shutdown. Gops would like to blame Dems, if it wasn’t for all of the government that they’ve been shutting down recently. As for the states, Trump picked and lost a fight with the Maine Governor, but hating Trump is completely bipartisan. The Times asks if had Ukraine not dressed so provocatively, would Vlad and Donald not be behaving the way they are? Germany has swung to the right in the latest elections but is also not swinging towards the United States.

Greg Dworkin walks us through some familiar and relevant Watergate history, beginning with the saga of John Mitchell, which serves as necessary background to today’s corruption, only part of which manifests itself in the form of Eric Adams’ corruption. Another fun development on this front: a NY Bar Association complaint against Count Boveula. Of course, there are a million other angles on Trump’s corruption, like this one out of left field, on NYC congestion pricing. The Adams story is just today’s appetizer. And that’s just the domestic model. Looking abroad, we find other worrisome precedent—and the potential for new disasters—in Germany. And, of course, the potential for compounding old disasters, as in Ukraine. Checking back in on the growing library of Trump “administration” attorney conflicts of interest, Walt Nauta’s lawyer just remembered he’s in government now, and resigned his case. Another story we had to check back in on: Trump’s targeting of the Merit Service Protection Board. While we were waiting around for a new show, a federal judge reversed MSPB Chair Cathy Harris’ purported dismissal. And that other growing library, the list of federal agencies infiltrated by the DOGE Teen Hunger Force has also expanded. This time, it’s just the Cybersecurity & Infrastructure Security Agency (CISA). No big whoop. Just in case you’d forgotten how they get everyone to lie down for them, though, the answer is just what you thought it was: death threats.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin return in a Tuesday KITM that feels like a Monday KITM but is more like a Friday KITM that feels like a Thursday KITM. You will understand once you hear the Wednesday KITM. A Delta airliner landed on its roof in Minneapolis yesterday. Is that how they are supposed to land? It doesn’t seem so… unfortunately the people in charge of that at the FAA don’t work there anymore. OSHA also eliminated safety guidelines warning of a diversity of dangers. Thousands of government employees have been fired because of performance, though “good” or “bad” performance has not been specified. Next up, the Social Security Administration, because there is no “yours” or “their” money, it’s “woke” or “based” money. MAGA is finding out that Musk just doesn’t think they are that cool. One thing’s for certain; you can’t blame Trump or Musk for this, because “Trump” and “Musk” and “DOGE” and the “Gulf of America” are just words in some mass hallucination that you have chosen to believe. Pick the red or blue pill and… never mind, SCOTUS will pick one out for you. Did “they” flood Kentucky to steal Fort Knox from Elon? Sure, why not? Gops only care about the rules if that helps them break the rules. “But! Those rules are the rules!” the Dems cry out, as sparks shoot out of their ears, and they collapse en masse to the ground. New York City Comptroller Brad Lander has found a set of rules to try after four of the City's Deputy Mayors resigned rather than break their rules. Governor Katy Hochul has now found herself in the uncomfortable position of having to do a thing or at least having a conversation about doing a thing. Of course, no one actually “told” anyone to dismiss Eric Adam’s prosecution… especially not attorney Alex Spiro.

David Waldman delivers the first KITM following the declaration of the historic Luigi Doctrine this weekend. Dems in exile plot their counterattack to be waged once they find the Elmer’s to glue together their big piece of posterboard onto that easel that goes behind their outraged speeches. Greg Dworkin is out fighting weather not fit for man nor beast. Greg’s not presumed lost; in fact, we presume he might turn up tomorrow. Elon Musk is sucking America dry. Anyone willing to reciprocate will be rewarded. Supergenius Elon knows when you are laughing “with” him and when you aren’t. Elon’s son, WD-40, will tell him as he already has more accounting experience and common sense than all DOGErs combined. OSHA guidelines are banned from warning about a diversity of dangers. Hundreds of officials hired to keep nukes from going nuclear are fired, maybe, then rehired, maybe. Maybe they aren’t really fired, they just won’t be paid, or maybe they’ll be arrested today, who knows? If employees were involved with DEI, attended mandatory DEI meetings, had grandparents who were DEI lovers, or have even a drop of DEI blood, they better watch their backs.

Today, whether you’re planning a romantic evening for two or two hundred, you’ll want to hear David Waldman, the “Barry White of political podcasts”, on KITM, home of the hottest takes. Elon Musk doesn’t know his SQL from a hole in the ground, but how hard is it really to sucker punch US government agencies defended by only strong rhetoric? Dems seem kinda happy to be out of power. Gops are certainly happy that they are also out of power. Corporate media is delighted to phone it in. Officers with the federal public integrity unit don’t want to be the one who aids and abets Mayor Eric Adams. Pete Hegseth told NATO to never trust or rely upon the US anymore, and NATO agreed. JD Vance also brought his foreign policy to work today. The Vance Doctrine fights woke around the world. Little DOGEy Edward Coristine might have dabbled in racism and pedophilia back in his youth of last year, but Elon Musk will groom him to greatness. Emil Bove, who somehow looks more like Stephen Miller than Miller does will hunt down the Jan 6 prosecutors he worked with before the end times. Thomson Reuters wins the first major AI copyright case in the US.

David Waldman spins the big wheel of awfulness, let’s see if your number comes up! Our digital Pearl Harbor continues, and we continue to lose. Federal workers are reeling from the ongoing surprise attack. A 25-year-old working for Musk now has a few trillion dollars of his very own. You say it was your money? Try proving that with a deleted Social Security number. You say a federal judge backs you... What federal Judge? You say you have a paper trail… What’s paper? Chuck Schumer has a few zingers that he had hoped to unleash on Gerald Ford but now is as good a time as any. Gops blame DEI in schools eating the cats and dogs to poop in the litterboxes. Steven Miller says that you saw the ax in Trump’s hand when you let him in the door. What did you expect would happen? Anyhow, who’s Trump? President Musk has finished measuring the drapes and will be accepting the Oval Office now. Today’s random country is South Africa. South African President Cyril Ramaphosa begs Elon for mercy, not Donald. Donald’s happy to just sign stuff and go golfing. Heads up to Democrats, today’s target is the Department of Education, so you’ll know to put that on your list to definitely get to, sometime. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau just said F’ it and surrendered. The NSA puts burkas on their woman’s photos. Susan Collins is concerned. Trump is putting together a sovereign wealth fund so that he still gets a chunk when this all goes down.

David Waldman, Greg Dworkin and we are under the cloud of a domestic commercial airline disaster, just a few days after Trump/Elon fixed it. ON BLUE SKY, experts have predicted something like this for a while in the area. President Why Don’t They Just demanded to know why didn’t they just avoid colliding up there, then realized that black and gay people might be involved, then remembered that Obama and Buttigieg actually were involved. Whew! Disaster averted! Secretary of Transportation Sean Duffy adroitly asked, “Does this stuff normally happen, or what?” Gop Tim Burchett begs fellow Republicans to just shut up already, Jeez! Dems are deliberating on a sternly worded letter that they hope to release this fiscal year. Did you ever think that maybe this administration can’t be this stupid? They probably are, though. It is after all what their voters demand over everything. Using military jets for deportations is an ugly, wasteful, and a super-cool photo op that will be played on a loop in corporate media. If they can find a well-lit faucet in California Trump will send Seal Team 6 and a Fox News crew there. Gitmo is the perfect concentration camp for Trump, even if he never sends anyone there. Mel Gibson is slated to direct. The scene opens with masked strangers in body armor attempting to kidnap children, only to be turned away by newly-armed military-trained elementary school teachers. David gives his analysis of Kevin Elliott’s analysis of Ezra Klein's analysis of why Republicans just walk over and kick you in the balls. What young impetuous newcomers in DC don’t realize is that those dinosaurs they want out of the way have evolved an extremely tenacious grip that will not be broken unless that meteorite bops them directly on the forehead, and even then… Meanwhile, Israel released 110 Palestinian prisoners after Gaza released theirs. They’re still getting the hang of it.

the weekend yesterday…David was just checking to see if you had a calendar! Remember, always ask to see the paperwork! Because today is not Saturday, Greg Dworkin showed up to review the breathtaking amount of FA occurring, with the inevitable FO upcoming. Just because Trump “can’t” impound doesn’t mean he can’t “impound” … or maybe he can’t! That right wing circle jerk might have got the water hose after all. (Follow Aaron Fritschner on Blue Sky, damn it) Senator Lisa Blunt Rochester pointed to the overstep, withholding her vote on Sean Duffy. (Who made it, anyhow.) The president is now offering a buyout for federal employees to not come in to work, that is “President Musk”, now tired of impersonating a video gamer and various others is trying the same trick on all federal employees. This might be Elon’s most based troll yet! Meanwhile the purge continues. The DOJ fires career lawyers. The DOD fires career soldiers. Even 4-star General Mark Miley needs to watch his step around 5th story windows.