Kagro in the Morning

David Waldman takes us to the edge of the week but can’t keep us from falling into the weekend. Bawdy? Is that what we’re calling it? Jeffery Epstein, who could be considered naughty, and kind of affiliated, was never known to have had a shortage of close personal friends. His 50th birthday party had a great turnout of sincere well-wishers, including Donald K. Trump, who was both his best friend for over a dozen years, and hardly even knew him, in fact barely even met him outside of the hundreds of times that they hung out. So, of all of the ribald birthday wishes Jeff received, the one from Donald is definitely the one Donald did not write, and did not sign, and especially did not write a picture on. Donald does not write pictures. You know that things must be out of control if Trump is releasing medical information into the news cycle. Trump’s socks look like he rotates his filled Depends there, but officially he has “Chronic Venous Insufficiency” which technically describes that Trump’s brains have fallen into his shoes. It would also explain his feeble Epstein distraction brought to you by Coca-Cola. Luckily for Trump, CBS threw him a big lifeline by firing Steven Colbert. The only thing that could delight Trump more would be having Jimmy Kimmel eaten by an alligator. Great news! AI Chatbots have been telling their billionaire investors that they will be earning trillions of dollars soon and that those checks will start pouring in, in about two weeks.

It’s a good thing Greg Dworkin had a lot of links today. Because there was a lot to say, even if there were only a very few topics most people were talking about. And by that, we mean Jeffrey Epstein, and the fact that Donald Trump was his very good friend, because they were both giant perverts. No one’s buying the Trump administration’s story. I mean, like, no one. Not the Trump-supporting Speaker of the House. Not ultra-Trump-supporting rank & file members of Congress. Not the grifters who came up on the Trump coattails. Not the grifters positioning themselves to usurp the coat itself. Not the high-information, liberal voters who might be using it to troll low-information voters. Not even the low-information voters themselves, who don’t care about anything. Maybe he’s just used up all the quarters he had lined up for his brainwashing machine. Whatever the reason, he’s now got MAGA & the Republican party splintered over this thing he seems determined to insist everyone should ignore. But wait! Maybe Trump can save his presidency with substantive accomplishments on the policy side! Hahahahahaha! Ohhhhh, man! Hey, just kidding, folks! Ha ha! That was a good one! No, there’s no hope for that! And the midterm political outlook is only set to get worse, even if the policy itself somehow doesn’t. But it is getting worse! Oh well, at least there’s Elon Musk’s third party. Hahahaha! Gotcha again! Meanwhile, this coverup isn’t even the worst thing Pam Bondi is doing with her time. Well, we have time for one more subject. By which I mean about an hour. How about the NYC mayoral race, where we’re looking at voters in the 40s and 50s. No, not by age. By net approve/disapprove! (OK, but also by age.) In fact, how about the NYC mayoral race, and how some people are so consumed by it, that they think it has bearing on the outcome of totally unrelated races, thousands of miles away.

David Waldman stares into the abyss of our next Trump weekend, but first, screams into the void of Trump Friday. Distinguished Professor and author Ian Reifowitz returns to KITM discuss his BRAND-NEW BOOK, “Riling Up the Base: Examining Trump’s Use of Stereotypes through an Interdisciplinary Lens.” Buy this book, and not only will you be the hippest person on your beach, but you will also gain a thorough understanding of how Trump’s use of stereotypes relating to immigration, race/ethnicity, and gender somehow keeps that jerk in power. Ian also argues that Democrats have drifted from Obama’s unifying vision of America and need to reclaim Obama’s inclusive, aspirational message to win again. Tom Homan reminds us that the less you look like Tom Homan, the higher your chance of having many bad things happen to you in the United States. With AI, you can look like anyone and say anything. Foreign leaders are under the mistaken impression that as long as their lips remain on Donald K. Trump’s ass, they’re safe. To Vietnam’s surprise, Donald informed them they hadn’t used enough tongue.

Greg Dworkin heard from a friend that they have a friend whose other friend says that Vladimir Putin doesn’t want to go out with Donald Trump anymore. Or maybe vice versa. Anyway, somebody is gonna be upset over the resumption of arms shipments to Ukraine. Could be Trump. Certainly will be Putin. Might also be Hegseth! The eyes of Texas (and everywhere else) are still upon “Flash Flood Alley,” so they’ll have to get their story straight (and tell it to the judge) about whether they do or don’t have an emergency alert system, and if so, whether they did or didn’t use it. They certainly should have one. After all, they’re now acknowledging that extreme weather incidents are human-caused. Sort of. The national obsession over the New York City mayoral election continues, mostly because Zohran Mamdani’s sizeable lead in the polls continues. The Adams camp is making some… unusual choices for managing the campaign. Or at least, someone is making them for them. Anyway, the political scientists have a heads up for you, if you’ve been wondering where the winning coalition would come from. Meanwhile, Donald Trump has opened up (even) dumb(er) new frontiers in his “Trade Wars,” this time with the largest coffee producer in the world and second-most-populous country in the Western Hemisphere: Brazil. And they don’t like it. But they are also not as dumb, as anyone can plainly see. Dumber still, but even more frightening, Trump continues to use vast federal powers to prosecute his personal gripes. We heard the other day about his insistence that “investigations” be opened into former FBI Director James Comey and former CIA Director John Brennan. Now we learn that… for some strange reason… the Secret Service decided to tail Comey on his way back from his beach vacation, then haul him in for questioning over that “86 47” message he wrote out in seashells. And it looks like they have the same and more planned for Chris Wray, too. You know, the FBI Director Trump picked after he fired Comey.

It’s July 4th! And we’re celebrating by pretending it’s July 5th. Hey, anything to get another day closer to the end of the Trump regime! But to be more precise about it, we’re pretending it’s July 5, 2019. Why? Well, July 5, 2024 wasn’t a particularly uplifting moment in time for us. But the day after Trump’s first attempt at a Washington, DC “military parade?” That’s entertainment! So we’re re-running the July 5, 2019 episode, which Scott Anderson originally summarized this way: But… Did. They. Get. Off? The rain was almost… almost like a “sign” from above that yesterday’s greatest show in history would be the hugest lesson in irony. In that, it did not disappoint. David Waldman takes us through Donald Trump’s history lesson on ramming the ramparts at airports during the Revolution. If you think Trump sees history in a strange way, wait until you hear how he sees himself. Profile in courage Donald Trump wishes he could be the good person he really is inside... it’s just that you provoke him so. An open letter to the director of the US Holocaust Memorial Museum states why we again need to say Never Again. Trump tries to come up with a way to rig the Census that someone will believe, but why bother when lies work so well? Oregon’s governor uses her executive powers for good. Cheese and whiskey are targeted in the US’s latest proposed tariffs on EU, as the Jim Beam bourbon warehouse is allowed to burn down to keep from polluting the water. What will the Gop do without the NRA? The Indian government already has a plan in place for dealing with Ivanka Trump-like intrusion. Serena Blaiz—Daily Kos’ peacearena—reports on the expanding local news desert, and the unexpected hits on your local economy.

July! David Waldman will depart upon his KITM Patriotic Tour of America very soon but is here today and even tomorrow with live shows! Get your 4th of July prepped soon, before Hell buys up all of the charcoal. Did Republicans kill the filibuster? The Senate did kill thousands of people. JD Vance dealt the coup de grâce, and promised that there’ll be many more corpses before he’s finished. Elon Musk might go onto the casualty list if he doesn’t shut up. Dems made Susan Collins feel concerned for a moment. Like changing the direction of a hurricane, Donald K. Trump is using his Sharpie to divert interest rates from Jerome Powell. Trump and Kristi Noem, who never got the opportunity to pose at Abu Ghraib, made up for it at today’s grand opening celebration of the Everglades “migrant detention facilities”. Kristi missed her chance to chuck puppies to the gators (at least on camera) but Noem knows that some things are better if kept quiet… like political graft.

David Waldman is BACK for the Friday KITM, then GONE for the weekend, then BACK on the Monday KITM! See how that works? In local, to KITM World Headquarters, news, the University of Virginia and Virginia Commonwealth University can’t operate any “illegal” DEI programs to get federal funding, and they really like federal funding, therefore they’re obeying anticipatorily. The White House appreciates their cooperation and will now require the resignation of the University of Virginia’s president. In even more local news, the Superintendent of Loudoun Schools, Aaron Spence eloquently describes how Trump can kiss his DEI-loving ass. Meanwhile, a selling point for a four-year degree has always been where you’ll be spending those four years. People assumed someone had fixed the DOGE by cutting off Big Balls, but he’s only been tucked away, out of sight. The US is slashing overseas pro-democracy initiatives, yet Samuel Samson over at the US State Department wanted your tax money to go to anti-democracy initiatives to support Marine Le Pen. Le Pen had the self-respect to turn him down. Remember when real men were both strong and silent? Why can’t we try bringing back those days again? Why are supervillains always such big mouths?

David Waldman is solo today, in front of the microphone, and behind. So, ease off of him, will ya? Hallelujah! Donald K. Trump and his BFF, God, declared peace for our time yesterday… No... PEACE FOR ALL TIME! No more holy wars, only eternal holy love from… Hold on, we have breaking news that Donald’s estimate was a bit off… or perhaps God’s... FUUUUU… Oh, well, Trump cannot fail his children, they can only fail him. Calm down everybody. Except for the shooting and the bombs and the dying and such, there’s all sorts of peace between Iran and Israel. Raise the Mission Accomplished banners, quick, and engrave those Nobel medals today, just in case. Y’know, Kamala and Hilary told us this would happen. Give Americans two weeks, and they’ll have forgotten all about this. Meanwhile, rule of law, democracy, etc. remain concerns. Masked gunmen ride into town, beating and intimidating citizens, which used to be frowned upon. Now the villains defy courts and common sense with impunity. The Supreme Court’s ruling in DHS v. D.V.D. might sound unfamiliar, but has removed due process, and will maybe kill thousands of immigrants. Why the long face, Emil? Emil Bove is finding out that recommending the violation of court orders is unbecoming for a judge, maybe even a lawyer.

Give me a "K! ..."K"! give me an "I"! ..."I"! Give me a "T"! ..."T" Give me a "M"! ..."M"! WHATS THAT SPELL? David Waldman and Greg Dworkin return this week with a golden oldie that some of you out there might remember: Well, come on all of you big strong men, Uncle Sam needs your help again. He got himself in a terrible jam, way down yonder in Iran! Put down your books and pick up a gun, we're gunna have a whole lotta fun! Turns out that Donakd… Donald K. Trump has never been awfully TACO when it comes to other people’s lives… and we’re talking Muslims here. He’s also not against regime change when it’s other people’s regimes. However, he hates capitalism when it gets in the way of his capitalism. And, never, ever, dare to take his limelight. CHORUS And its 1,2,3 what are we fightin for? Don't ask me, I don't give a damn, the next stop is Iran. And its 5,6,7 open up the pearly gates. Well, there ain't no time to wonder why... Whoopee we're all gunna die! It appears that Donald and Bibi arranged to reach around and wag each other's dogs in Iran. It was an intimate circle wag, however, so Democrats and JD Vance weren’t invited. People could watch it on the internet if they chose to, and even Pete Hegseth got midnight hammered... Now come on wall street don't be so slow, why man this's war a-go-go-go! There's plenty good money to be made, supplyin' the army with the tools of the trade. Just hope and pray that when they drop the bomb, they drop it on the other ones! … Anyhow, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, except Trump is no W, more of an L. Who knows what the future might bring? (We kind of know...) CHORUS And its 1,2,3 what are we fightin for? Don't ask me I don't give a damn, the next stop is Iran. And its 5,6,7 open up the pearly gates. Well, there ain't no time to wonder why...Whoopee we're all gunna die! Now, come on generals let's move fast, your big chance is here at last. Tonight, you go out and get those reds, cuz the only good commie is one that’s dead, You know that peace can only be won, when you blow em all to kingdom come! CHORUS And its 1,2,3 what are we fightin for? Don't ask me I don't give a damn, the next stop is Iran. And its 5,6,7 open up the pearly gates. Well, there ain't no time to wonder why...Whoopee we're all gunna die! … Oh, and there’s an election in New York City. Vote Zohran. ABC: Anybody but Cuomo. Not as a joke, not out of name recognition, this is ranked choice voting, so too many second-choice picks could elect the wrong guy... Now come on mothers throughout the land, pack your boys off to Iran. Come on fathers don't hesitate, send your sons off before it's too late, Be the first one on your block, to have your boy come home in a box! CHORUS And its 1,2,3 what are we fightin for? Don't ask me I don't give a damn, the next stop is Iran. And its 5,6,7 open up the pearly gates. Well, there ain't no time to wonder why...Whoopee we're all gunna die!