Relationship Advice

In this episode, examine how our assumptions about our partner's behavior shape the emotional climate of our relationship. Often, we default to interpretations that paint our partner as careless or intentionally hurtful, which leads to defensiveness and distance. By learning to make generous, non-evil assumptions—like believing our partner is overwhelmed rather than selfish—we create more space for empathy, curiosity, and connection. We cover topics such as: We often assume the worst based on our own insecurities. Generous assumptions reduce conflict. Shift from “they’re against me” to “they’re struggling.” Mutual generosity creates safety. And more! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dive into how often people use indirect or protective strategies—like assuming or demanding—when trying to get their relational needs met, and why making needs explicit through vulnerability is both challenging and essential. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren emphasize that even though vulnerable communication is uncomfortable and risky, it’s the most effective way to build connection and avoid misunderstandings or resentment. They offer practical guidance on organizing your thoughts, understanding your own context, and inviting your partner into a collaborative conversation rather than a demand-response dynamic. We cover topics such as: Protected vs Vulnerable Requests “You Should Just Know” Myth Context Over Commands Collaborative Communication And More! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode dives into the feeling of disillusionment in long-term relationships—when the connection, ease, or intimacy from the early days starts to fade and partners question what changed. The hosts unpack how this shift is often tied to attachment dynamics, life stressors, and the transition from novelty to responsibility in relationships. Instead of jumping to blame, the episode encourages listeners to get curious, explore the root causes of change, and decide whether to grow through it or lovingly let go. We cover topics such as: Feeling let down in a relationship is normal Life stress makes connection harder Attraction isn’t just about looks Early relationships feel easier because there's less pressure And More! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode explores the nuanced question of how much we should share about our intimate relationships with others, highlighting the spectrum between healthy connection and potential boundary violations. The hosts reflect on personal experiences and therapeutic insights to unpack the motivations behind sharing—such as co-regulation, validation, or humor—and examine how factors like upbringing, culture, and attachment styles shape our comfort with disclosure. The conversation emphasizes that couples benefit from explicit conversations about preferences, risks, and the importance of flexibility when navigating this topic. We cover topics such as: Motivations for Sharing Risks of Oversharing Family, Cultural, and Attachment Influence Need for Individual & Mutual Reflection And more! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, the hosts unpack the complicated process of knowing when it's time to leave a relationship, highlighting the emotional risks, attachment patterns, and fears of regret that often make the decision so difficult. They emphasize that while love and good qualities may exist, non-negotiable differences, broken trust, or persistent disconnection can signal it's time to move on. The episode encourages self-trust, gathering support, experimenting with boundaries, and, when needed, seeking professional help like couples therapy or intensives for greater clarity. We cover topics such as: Why It Feels Hard To Leave Signals It’s Time To Leave Importance of Gathering Input Professional Support & Intensives And more! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren\ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, the hosts illustrate how noticing when you need a break during conflict is essential for maintaining emotional regulation and protecting connection. They highlight how pushing through conflict without pausing can lead to emotional collapse or blow-ups, and how a break should be intentional, involving both calming the body and organizing thoughts before reengaging. The episode emphasizes that reframing breaks not as avoidance but as tools for better communication can help couples build trust and deeper understanding. We cover topics such as: Recognizing Dysregulation Breaks vs Avoidance Organizing During Breaks Fear of Not Returning Reengaging Vulnerability And more! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When emotional growth happens at different paces in a relationship, it can create disconnection and frustration. This episode explores how partners can navigate this dynamic by cultivating curiosity, avoiding shame-based interpretations, and validating the complexity of individual growth paths. Rather than rushing to conclusions or trying to control the other, the hosts encourage compassion, open dialogue, and creative ways to reconnect. In this episode, we cover topics such as: Avoiding Righteousness Pause the Binary Thinking Asking Open-Ended Questions Exploring Other Support Systems Discernment and Clarity Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Explore the common relational challenge of mismatched sex drives in partnerships, emphasizing that differences in sexual desire are normal and often rooted in individual biology, life stage, or emotional dynamics. Rather than seeking a “right” or “normal” amount of sex, the hosts encourage couples to approach the topic with curiosity, vulnerability, and a willingness to understand one another’s needs. The conversation also challenges common gender-based assumptions about sex and introduces the idea of sexual pursuit and withdrawal patterns as part of a couple’s dynamic. In this episode, we talk about topics such as: Mismatched Sex Drives Are Normal Sexual Pursuer vs. Sexual Withdrawer Curiosity Over Rigidity Sex as a Form of Regulation vs. Connection Navigating Differences with Vulnerability and Flexibility And more! Give Me Discounts! Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, the hosts explore the emotional complexity of being vulnerable in relationships and not receiving the supportive response we hope for. When partners often respond in protective ways—like shutting down or snapping back—can feel frustrating and disheartening—especially when you’re trying to be vulnerable and connect. Understanding what’s happening under the surface of that defensiveness and learning how to respond can completely shift the dynamic between you and your partner. Listen to today’s show to learn how to stay grounded, break negative cycles, and build true emotional safety—even when your partner is still reactive. In this episode of Relationship Advice, we discuss relationship topics such as: Protective Responses How To Avoid Being “Baited” Into Reactivity Tools To Stay In Vulnerability/Curiosity When You Partner Shuts Down Internal vs. External Control Tuning Into Your Window of Tolerance How To Build Lasting Safety In Relationships and much more! Give Me Discounts! Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The concept of "letting people feel their feelings" may be confusing to some, however in this episode, Colter, Cayla and Lauren emphasize the importance of allowing others to experience emotions like anger, disappointment, or frustration without trying to fix, dismiss, or control them. Listen to unpack the internal discomfort that often drives our impulse to manage others’ emotions, which can stem from fear of being misunderstood, shame, or a lack of emotional literacy. The conversation highlights the value of emotional regulation, self-reflection, and understanding the function of emotions as keys to fostering healthier and more authentic relationships. In the episode, we talk about topics such as: The “Let Them” Theory Why It’s Hard to Let People Feel Common Emotions We Resist in Others Role of Emotional Regulation Practical Tools & Resources and more! Give Me Discounts! Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode of the Relationship Advice podcast explores the value of creating a Non-Negotiables List to establish clear boundaries and expectations in relationships. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren discuss how striking the right balance—neither too rigid nor too lenient—can lead to healthier connections in both dating and marriage. They also offer practical strategies for crafting a personalized list that promotes self-awareness, intentional decision-making, and meaningful communication. In the episode, we talk about topics such as: Understanding Non-Negotiables Balancing the List Application in Dating Role in Marriage Flexibility / Rigidity and more! Give Me Discounts! Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What’s the difference between curiosity and questioning in relationships? Learn about the importance of approaching emotional challenges with openness rather than interrogation. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren share their personal journey into couples therapy, attachment theory, and the development of resources to help individuals heal from anxious attachment. In this episode, they talk about topics such as: Difference in Curiosity and Questioning Impact of Questioning How to Lead w/ Curiosity Communicating Emotional Need Effectively Developing Healthier Responses to Triggers and more! Give Me Discounts! Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Joined by special guest, Julie Menanno, our hosts sit down to discuss how to heal insecure attachment by focusing on self-awareness, emotional regulation, and developing a secure relationship with oneself. She emphasizes that attachment wounds manifest through self-abandonment, which leads to unhealthy relational patterns. Healing involves learning to sit with and process difficult emotions rather than seeking external reassurance, shifting from self-protection to self-support. In relationships, individuals must take turns being caregivers for one another, creating an attachment-friendly environment that fosters trust and security. Listen to learn more about topics like: Self-Abandonment as the Root Issue Emotional Processing Over Quick Regulation Building Secure Attachment with Self Discerning Between Attachment Triggers and Relationship Red Flags and more! Julies Bio & Links: Julie Menanno MA, LMFT, LCPC, is a therapist, author, and creator of The Secure Relationship, a community dedicated to helping people build secure, loving relationships. With over 1.3 million Instagram followers, Julie’s relatable advice and real-time couples therapy sessions have made her a trusted voice in relational health. Her book Secure Love, published by Simon & Schuster in 2024, dives deep into attachment theory and is available worldwide. Secure Love, written by Julie Menanno The Secure Love Podcast Give Me Discounts! Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Explore the tension between personal experience and factual correctness in relationships, particularly in boundary-setting and decision-making. The hosts discuss how relying too heavily on logic and research to "win" arguments can create gridlock and emotional disconnection, emphasizing the importance of curiosity, empathy, and slowing down difficult conversations. They demonstrate how shifting from a debate-style approach to one focused on safety and understanding can lead to more productive and fulfilling discussions between partners. In the episode, we talk about topics such as: Struggle Between Experience and "Being Right" The Role of Control in Relationship Conflicts The Window of Tolerance + Emotional Safety The Power of Curiosity > Persuasion Need for Repeated, Small Conversations and more! Give Me Discounts! Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode explores the importance of rituals in relationships, emphasizing how they create trust, connection, and predictability between partners. Whether it is daily acts, like greeting each other after work or having a bedtime routine, or larger, less frequent traditions, like weekly date nights, annual celebrations, or even rituals for personal space. Without these conversations, there an be an unspoken expectations around rituals that can create frustration and misinterpretation in relationships. In the episode, we talk about topics such as: Defining Rituals & Their Purpose Unspoken Expectations Types / Frequency of Rituals Actionable Steps and more! Give Me Discounts! Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Cozy Earth - Visit Cozy Earth to get the comfiest sleepwear and sheets on the market! Use code “IDO” for 40% off. Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A negative couples cycle is a recurring pattern of interaction in which partners react to each other’s protective moves, escalating conflict rather than addressing the underlying emotions. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren illustrate how miscommunication and emotional defenses—such as criticism, defensiveness, or withdrawal—reinforce each other in a self-perpetuating loop. By identifying these cycles and understanding the emotions driving them, couples can shift from blame to curiosity, fostering better connection and repair. In the episode, we touch on relationship topics such as: The Root of Negative Cycles Common Protective Moves Emotional Drivers of Conflict Recognizing & Breaking the Cycle Repairing the Cycle Give Me Discounts! Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Cozy Earth - Visit Cozy Earth to get the comfiest sleepwear and sheets on the market! Use code “IDO” for 40% off. Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Colter, Cayla, and Lauren dive into the “taboo” topic of sex, offering advice on when to say yes and when to say no. This episode explores how partners can navigate differences in sexual desire by recognizing how things like stress, emotional connection, and personal preferences impact intimacy and why a simple "yes" or "no" isn’t always the best response. In the episode, we touch on topics such as: Understanding Individual Preferences Accelerators & Breaks (Turn Ons/Offs) Importance of Communication Counter Offers / Negotiation Creating a Safe Environment Give Me Discounts! Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Cozy Earth - Visit Cozy Earth to get the comfiest sleepwear and sheets on the market! Use code “IDO” for 40% off. Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Colter, Lauren and Cayla dive into boundaries, emphasizing their importance in maintaining personal energy, trust, and healthy relationships. The hosts delve into the pitfalls of rigid or non-existent boundaries, offering strategies to navigate requests thoughtfully while prioritizing individual values and needs. By sharing real-life examples, they highlight how to say "yes," "no," or propose counter-offers based on personal capacity and relational dynamics. In the episode, we touch on topics such as: Binary Boundaries: Resentment vs. Guilt Values-Based Decisions Making The Cost of Impulsive Responses Counter Offers: Editing Requests and more! Give Me Discounts! Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Cozy Earth - Visit Cozy Earth to get the comfiest sleepwear and sheets on the market! Use code “IDO” for 40% off. Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We hate absolutes, but are pretty confident in saying that every relationship has a pursuer and a withdrawer. In this two part series we are breaking down each of these roles, how to help, how to love, how to communicate. And if there are two podcasts you listen to of ours let this be them! In this episode we discuss: The protective moves that pursuers gravitate towards How pursuers handle conflict How we can love our pursuer partners more How there is a different energy between pursuers and withdrawers Sponsored Cozy Earth - Visit Cozy Earth to get the comfiest sleepwear and sheets on the market! Use code IDO for 40% off. Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We hate absolutes, but are pretty confident in saying that every relationship has a pursuer and a withdrawer. In this two part series we are breaking down each of these roles, how to help, how to love, how to communicate. And if there are two podcasts you listen to of ours let this be them! In this episode, we discuss: The protective moves that withdrawers gravitate towards How withdrawers handle conflict How we can love our withdrawer partners more How there is a different energy between pursuers and withdrawers Sponsored Cozy Earth - Visit Cozy Earth to get the comfiest sleepwear and sheets on the market! Use code IDO for 40% off. Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices