Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

Classic (x2). (Warlock #2) In which the Warlock ongoing series is fun, and fun is good; people should maybe leave Doug Ramsey’s grave alone; Tony Stark is probably not in touch with the Indigo Girls; the heroes skate awfully close to the “no killing” line; Bastion gets exhumed, rehumed, and re-exhumed; you should really read the Avengers Academy Infinity Comic; and you remain the best listeners of any podcast, ever. X-PLAINED: X-related characters of Avengers Academy Warlock vol. 5, #1-9 Warlock (more) (again) M-Tech Jay’s Bluey Test for all-ages media The visual semiotics of Warlock Project Mainspring Hope (Esperanza Ling) Chi-Chee Psi-cops Gatekeepers Technarchs The transmode virus A fancy hat Many guest stars The Phalanx (more) (again) Psiren Psimon The techno-mechanic virus Complicated feelings Psycho Man (more) (again) Astro-computers Hope’s actual powers Template Magus (more) (again) Avengers Academy Marvel Voices Infinity Comic Why there are so many Canadian comic-book writers Superhero comics vs. religious texts Defining heroism Escapade Captain America of the Railways Bloodline Red Goblin Moon Girl Kid Juggernaut Blackheart Ongoing storytelling Emplate as a queer character Marcus Wetherell What else to read if you love Avengers Academy Marvel Voices Infinity Comic The 11th Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence Many people to whom we are profoundly grateful NEXT EPISODE: The return of the Demon Bear! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

Because reality is full of things, the Winter Special is... not quite ready. But it will be in a week, and we think you're going to love it! Apologies for the delay and we'll see you then!

In which you know it’s serious business when a logo gets smashed; the prophecy of the Twelve is an elaborate prank; we have a lot of Summers family feelings; Apocalypse is not a very good planner; and the Twelve reaches its conclusion.

In which the Twelve should really be twelve chapters long; Archangel has issues; we continue to bemoan the absence of captions; the X-Men ditch their crossover event for a side quest; Magneto is Genosha’s official chaperone; and we would absolutely elect Emma Frost to a school board.

Survival of the Toothiest (Cable #75) In which we begin our coverage of The Twelve; Scott and Jean get sucked back in AGAIN; Apocalypse probably doesn’t tip; and we have become awfully fond of Cable. X-PLAINED: A codename that deviates from common patterns The story so far Uncanny X-Men #376 Cable #75 X-Men #96 Fiz the Skrull (again) The Twelve Foreshadowing, both accurate and otherwise The Living Monolith (more) (again) That one font Time-travel logic Cable vs. eyes Fabian Cortez (more) (again) A trap Why the Twelve are the Twelve The evolution of Cable NEXT EPISODE: The Twelve continues! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which Cable may or may not have been a spokesperson for AT&T; it’s impossible to draw a CD dramatically; Wolverine gets his adamantium back; Apocalypse says the thing; and we probably can’t keep putting off The Twelve forever.

In which the Shattering officially concludes; you can’t swoop over the phone; toddlers are engines of pure chaos; the X-Men do some processing; and we are mildly scandalized by the absence of footnotes.

In which St. Croix History reminds us of a Martian with a big butt; Penance’s escape is ambiguous; Avengers Academy Infinity Comic successfully reinvents Emplate; you should not learn to flirt from Vanilla Ice; Jubilee fires two fireworks blasts into the air whilst going aaahhh; and we go in through the ears. X-PLAINED: Apocalypse’s influence The Big House (about which we are confused) Generation X #58 Cartier and/or Louis St. Croix Our college’s Dean, naked jogger Things that are sharp in the woods HUMP Penance (Hollow) Emplate, spoiled teenager Generation X Annual 1999 Epistolary fonts Jubilee’s pre-X past Round Wolverine Hunter Brawn (again, sigh) Recognizing random dudes from pictures Dad Things and Dad Pipes Juggernaut and Black Tom as a relationship model Jubilee, competent veteran A murder mystery Legault, cosplaying bodyguard Taking notes on comics Magneto’s telepathy-blocking (or not) helmet NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine's dead! And Wolverine's back! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which Nightcrawler has a type; the Hill is a bad place to raise your kids up; Colossus introduces Marrow to art; we come out against autotrepanation; Mikhail Rasputin never learns; Destiny leaves clues from beyond the grave; and The Twelve looms.

In which Lenore Zann joins us to talk Rogue, Canadian politics, and her upcoming memoir!

In which “Astonishing X-Men” is something of a misnomer; Death has a good look; sometimes you just need a guy who swoops; Miles stops worrying and learns to love Nate Grey; Telekinesis is silly looking; “Wolverine” dies; and nothing really changes.

In which X-Force is kind of silly; that really isn’t what “quantum” means; polite and lawful are two entirely different things, and Sam Guthrie is only one of them; Selene vogues; and the Hellfire Club plays the dead girlfriend card.

In which Gambit is fundamentally goofy; t’ieves love research; Magneto was ripped; Professor Xavier remains a jerk; Miles attempts to convey something very fundamentally visual in an audio format; Marrow is adorable; the X-Men pretty much disband (again); and a miniseries is the opposite of a vacation.

In which the 1990s were very long; if you die in the simulation, you die in real life; Adrienne Frost is a bad person with good clothes; we judge the number 57; things just keep happening; and Penance somehow gets even more complicated.

In which Magneto may be right but is also wildly impractical; X-Force goes on a sneaking mission; Magneto isn’t mad, he’s just disappointed; Rictor and Shatterstar return; Strong is not a common surname in the Marvel universe; and being a mutant on TV doesn’t mean you’re one in the comics. X-PLAINED: How Jubilee became a vampire The most X-treme youth of them all X-Force 94-95 X-Force Annual 1999 Genosha Butler disambiguation Clown jobs A team-up predicated on an awkward breakup Hammer Town Delphi Memory boxes Several potential continuity error Names Genoshan robots Archie A hierarchy of potential fates Vershiagen Industries and/or Vershlagen Industries V2 Hanrancha Stronghold Martin Strong Freddie Michelle Balters (Neurotap) (more) (again) Communication with X-teams A sudden and depressing resolution Continuity across media Why Gambit doesn’t (usually) throw tarot cards NEXT EPISODE: The Return of the Hellions (kinda) The visual companion to this episode will be up later this week! Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which Synch is better with your powers than you are; Generation X gets some actual training; Artie and Leech are fully feral; everyone gets the hots for Paladin; Zeus has probably fucked a motorcycle at some point; many countries have valleys; and Adrienne Frost is terrible.

In which Devin Toohey joins Miles to discuss X-Men’s DC Comics cousin Doom Patrol, and their bastard Amalgam child, X-Patrol! X-PLAINED: X-Men vs. Doom Patrol Meet Your Doom Doom Patrol Amalgam X-Patrol Elasti-Girl (Amalgam) Shatterstarfire Beastling Ferro Man Dial H.U.S.K. X-Patrol #1 Exciting X-Patrol #1 Niles Cable Dr. Doomsday Superhero aviation Brother Brood Raveniya Niles Dayspring Technoorganic lettering Claw mechanics Magneto on X-Force Real-life Dazzler and Lila Cheney analogs NEXT EPISODE: Generation X goes to Madripoor! Want to hire J&MXPtXM producer Matt Hunter to produce your podcast? Email him! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which Tommy Lee Edwards draws a damned fine everything; death gods get taken a lot less seriously when their avatars are seagulls; warm and cool colors get in a fight; Domino has no time for this bullshit; Cable and Domino wait ’til the kids are asleep; Sunspot’s alibi is too complicated; X-Force forges a pouches path; Engines are nothing but trouble; and Ry’lor the Destroyer puts himself in time out. X-PLAINED: The Norse Pantheon of 2099 X-Force #91-93 One of the best X-covers ever Our favorite Siryn story Jesse Aaronson, penitent chef Sean Cassidy, penitent dad A realistically anticlimactic breakup Cassidy/Rourke history Bring Your Daughter to Crimes Day Napoleon Sanders An epistolary montage The dusty pink word balloons of Tom Waits A missed Manos-portunity The Chaos Engine Halloween Jack Domino’s varied musical tastes Ry’lor the Destroyer Kodo the Komodo Bedlam’s extremely situational powers Astarte and Electryon Horniness as a superpower The Temple of the Dying Sun Cable & Corsair’s (lack of) history Hope, Hope, Hope, Hope, Hope, and Hope NEXT EPISODE: Miles and guest host Devin talk X-Patrol, 1996's X-Force / Doom Patrol mash-up! Want to hire J&MXPtXM producer Matt Hunter to produce your podcast? Email him! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which the theme is too many inkers; Cecilia Reyes has no patience for your bullshit; Genosha’s going to be just fine (it’s not); we would watch a supercut of Fabian Cortez getting punched; we bid an abrupt farewell to Gaia; and comics are exhausting, yet captivating. X-PLAINED: Dazzler’s murder trial X-Men Unlimited #24 The past and future of X-Men Unlimited Doctor Cecilia Reyes Ghost Pirate Cap’n Bloodscream Wolverine and friends Pushing your kid out of a plane as a basic first aid skill Banter The Silver Samurai (Keniuchio Harada) Sunfire and the Big Hero Six Projectile-based wordplay Irene Adler, spoiler machine Genosha (again) The Cabinet of Doctor Lensherr Magneto’s panties Stupid metaphors Football stars and their football cars Magneto’s nuanced and baby-filled past Generation X #51 Hunter & Tristan Brawn Helicopter grandparents Artie & Leech, perpetual moppets Emma Frost, forever traumatized Generation X’s new costumes Gaia as the Bird Boy of Generation X Peach Momoko’s Ultimate Armor Sauron and the Lizard’s agendas and fashion Comic book collecting preferences NEXT EPISODE: Some damned fine X-Force. Want to hire J&MXPtXM producer Matt Hunter to produce your podcast? Email him! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which there’s nothing inherently wrong with monster-of-the-week; Marrow’s makeover extends to her font; Red Skull gets a Power Glove; Marvel sets up a slate of spinoffs; and you should hire Matt Hunter to produce your podcast! X-PLAINED: What Danger’s been up to lately Uncanny X-Men #371 X-Men #91 X-Men Annual 1999 Crossover cover design Skrullverine Machine Man Dethlok vs. Dethklok Jack Truman (Agent 18) (to some extent) A nice dress An awkward reunion Gambit as a mentor Billy G. A daring but silly rescue Several upcoming series Marrow’s bone bikini and/or pubes Whether Rogue can absorb animals NEXT EPISODE: Cecilia Reyes returns from retirement! Want to hire J&MXPtXM producer Matt Hunter to produce your podcast? Email him! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!