Straight Wife Trans Life

It’s a new year and as we wrestle with what the future holds for transgender people in this moment in time, we begin the season with a glimpse of the potential for positive change. My spouse decided to visit her family in México to celebrate her dad’s 80th birthday this past November. It has been a difficult road for their relationship since my spouse came out and only recently have they been communicating on a regular basis. This was the first visit since my spouse began her transition, almost three years ago. Change can happen with effort from all sides. Information for allies: Guide to Being a Trans AllyTips for Allies of Transgender Peopleally guideally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology TodayCoaching More transgender families: Great ScottsJammidodgerThe RageTransitionTogetherMy Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic TransformationsSuburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman * * * Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

The season ends with special guest, Abbe Kruger. Abbe is a life coach who dedicates herself to supporting cisgender and straight spouses or partners, and couples, managing changes in sexuality, gender identity and gender expression. Abbe can help anyone, anywhere in the world. In this episode, Abbe shares how a loved one coming out can impact the straight spouse or partner and offers insight into how couples can make it work. Abbe's coaching websiteEmail Abbe Season 3 returns in January. Until then, I hope you enjoy the rest of your year! Thank you for listening. Additional Resources More transgender families: Great ScottsJammidodgerThe RageTransitionTogetherMy Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic TransformationsSuburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman Information for allies: Guide to Being a Trans AllyTips for Allies of Transgender Peopleally guideally guide * * * Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

One month into middle school for my son and a student has already used an anti-LGBTQ+ slur against another student in a locker room. The kicker is that we live in what is considered a very progressive area. In this episode, my son and I have a talk about this incident, how a teacher handled it, and what he might have done if the teacher wasn’t there. Related to this episode: How to Talk to Your Kids About Hate SpeechWhat is "Grooming?" The Truth Behind the Dangerous, Bigoted Lie Targeting the LGBTQ+ CommunityAnti-Gay and Anti-Equality SpeechHow to Make Your School Safer for LGBTQ Students Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology TodayCoaching More transgender families: Great ScottsJammidodgerThe RageTransitionTogetherMy Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic TransformationsSuburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman Information for allies: Guide to Being a Trans AllyTips for Allies of Transgender Peopleally guideally guide * * * Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

The Summer Olympics just ended and I’m always impressed by the overall mental strength component that athletes have to excel at their sports. It takes mental strength to succeed in sports, at work, as parents, and in a situation like many of us where your spouse or partner has come out as transgender. Let’s explore this idea of mental strength to help us remain grounded as we navigate a loved one coming out. Mentioned in this episode: I Study and Train Mentally Strong People for a Living - Here are 7 Things They Never Do Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology TodayCoaching More transgender families: Great ScottsJammidodgerThe RageTransitionTogetherMy Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic TransformationsSuburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman Information for allies: Guide to Being a Trans AllyTips for Allies of Transgender Peopleally guideally guide * * * Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

New job, new people can be exciting for most of us and unchartered, anxiety-inducing territory for transgender people who just want to fit in with everyone else. In this episode, I talk to my spouse about her first work retreat where she met new coworkers at an otherwise remote-based company. Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology TodayCoaching More transgender families: Great ScottsJammidodgerThe RageTransitionTogetherMy Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic TransformationsSuburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman Information for allies: Guide to Being a Trans AllyTips for Allies of Transgender Peopleally guideally guide * * * Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

There are times when someone famous shows us their transphobic side or a transgender person makes poor decisions that come to light and they paint a negative image for the transgender community. Both examples actually had their moment in various news outlets this week and for those of us with a transgender partner or spouse, we may get caught in the middle of a fresh batch of transphobia. In this episode, I explore ways to respond. Mentioned and Related Links: CNNRolling StoneTransphobiaHow to Respond to TransphobiaNext Goal WinsTransgender History, second editionBlack on Both Sides, a Racial History of Trans IdentityBefore We Were TransTSQ: Transgender Studies QuarterlyHow to Tell Someone You Know They're Being Transphobic Responding to Misinformation about Gender DiversityHow to Respond to Trans MisinformationHow to Respond to Trans Misinformation from within the Trans CommunityTrans ReadsA Resource to Check Your Information Sources Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology TodayCoaching More transgender families: Great ScottsJammidodgerThe RageTransitionTogetherMy Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic TransformationsSuburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman Information for allies: Guide to Being a Trans AllyTips for Allies of Transgender Peopleally guideally guide * * * Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

The term “trans widow” is one that I thought I related to at first... until I didn’t. It is actually quite transphobic and in this episode, I share why it doesn’t sit well with me. Mentioned and Related Links: LGBT National Help Center hotline: 1-888-843-4564International Suicide HotlinesA Letter to "Trans Widows", From an Actual WidowWe're HereI'm a Real Trans Widow - Anyone Saying Their Newly Out Trans Partner is 'Dead' Disgusts MePlease Stop Saying "Trans Widows"Suicide Thoughts and Attempts Among Transgender Adults Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology TodayCoaching More transgender families: Great ScottsJammidodgerThe RageTransitionTogetherMy Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic TransformationsSuburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman Information for allies: Guide to Being a Trans AllyTips for Allies of Transgender Peopleally guideally guide * * * Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

For the first time since my spouse began her transition two and a half years ago, she is looking for a new job opportunity. She is a Latina transgender woman who is fortunate to be educated with a strong support system. Keep in mind that the transgender workforce reports low employment rates, lower salaries, and high discrimination. In this episode, I talk to my spouse about her job search experience. Related Resources: ACLU: Report Discrimination Know Your Employment RightsEmployment Transitioning as an EmployeeTrans Toolkit for Employers LGBT National Help Center: Find Local Resources DatabaseEmployment Planning Resources for LGBTQ+ StudentsEmployment ResourcesTransHubEmployment ResourcesEurope: Transgender Europe (TGEU)Campaign for Southern Equality: Resources + by southern statesTrans Can WorkTransWorkEmployment Services Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology TodayCoaching More transgender families: Great ScottsJammidodgerThe RageMy Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic TransformationsSuburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman Information for allies: Guide to Being a Trans AllyTips for Allies of Transgender Peopleally guideally guide * * * Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

It’s Father's Day in the U.S. today and the first Father's Day post-disclosure was rough. Now, two and a half years in, it’s not a big deal but I still struggle with how to label my spouse when she’s not around. Is labeling my transgender spouse a “spouse” enough or is it necessary to add more or less? Here’s how I’m currently working through it. Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology TodayCoaching More transgender families: Great ScottsJammidodgerThe RageMy Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic TransformationsSuburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman Information for allies: Guide to Being a Trans AllyTips for Allies of Transgender Peopleally guideally guide * * * Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

June is Pride Month, a time to raise awareness about the LGBTQ+ community, its history and remembering the Stonewall Uprising, current issues facing the community… and it’s a time to celebrate diversity and acceptance, hope, progress, joy. I love that allyship is strong this month. Let’s explore how one can be a great ally to the LGBTQ+ community this month plus all year. Related Resources: What it Means to Be a Better Ally to the LGBTQ+ Community Resource - ACLU: Mapping Attacks on LGBTQ Rights in U.S. State Legislatures in 2024 TrackerTrevor ProjectGLAADPFLAGInternational chapters,Lambda LegalThe Williams Institute15 Pride Products from Brands that Actually Give Back to the LGBTQ+ Community Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology TodayCoaching More transgender families: Great ScottsJammidodgerThe RageMy Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic TransformationsSuburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman Information for allies: Guide to Being a Trans AllyTips for Allies of Transgender Peopleally guideally guide * * * Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

A main giveaway that someone might be transgender is their voice. Speaking as a transgender person can be daunting and in this episode, I talk to my spouse about her road to sounding more feminine with the help of vocal therapy. Related Resources: American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA)LGBTQ+ Health ProgramVoice Therapy and Voice SurgeryVoice and Speech TherapyTransHubAdi WilsonRenée YoxonBay Area OUTspoken Speech ServicesConnected Speech PathologySeattle Voice LabVoice by Kylievoice resonance guideAppleAndroidTransVoiceLessonsAmaRoseLessons Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology TodayCoaching More transgender families: Great ScottsJammidodgerThe RageMy Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic TransformationsSuburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman Information for allies: Guide to Being a Trans AllyTips for Allies of Transgender Peopleally guideally guide * * * Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

I ask my spouse a few questions about her experience as a transgender woman using public restrooms. Related Resources: How You Can Make Bathrooms Safer for Trans and Nonbinary PeopleRefuge RestroomsA Guide to Restroom Access for Transgender WorkersMAPTransgender People and Bathroom AccessHuman Rights Campaign: Resources Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology TodayCoaching More transgender families: Great ScottsJammidodgerThe RageMy Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic TransformationsSuburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman Information for allies: Guide to Being a Trans AllyTips for Allies of Transgender Peopleally guideally guide * * * Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

The idea that a transgender person should not be permitted to use a public restroom that aligns with their gender identity is misunderstood and places the safety of a transgender person in jeopardy. This episode touches the surface from my viewpoint as someone who lives with a transgender person. Mentioned and Related Resources: Transgender People Confronted in Florida Bathroom Ban3 Myths that Shape the Transgender Bathroom DebateHow You Can Make Bathrooms Safer for Trans and Nonbinary PeopleRefuge RestroomsA Guide to Restroom Access for Transgender WorkersMAPTransgender People and Bathroom AccessHuman Rights Campaign Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology TodayCoaching More transgender families: Great ScottsJammidodgerThe RageMy Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic TransformationsSuburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman Information for allies: Guide to Being a Trans AllyTips for Allies of Transgender Peopleally guideally guide * * * Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

In this episode, I take a moment to share an overview of…you! Several of you have taken time to write to me and it means so much. You, listeners, are a diverse, interesting, wonderful group of people and I appreciate you. More transgender families: Great ScottsJammidodgerThe RageMy Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic TransformationsSuburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman Information for allies: Guide to Being a Trans AllyTips for Allies of Transgender Peopleally guideally guide * * * Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

Anger is one of the first and lingering emotions that occur when a spouse discloses that they are transgender; lingering as in years. How does one let go of that anger and move forward? In this episode, I offer a few ideas of where to start and it requires being willing to accept that it is time to make changes. Mentioned in this episode: Waiting to Exhale movie: Angela Bassett car fire scene (adult content)Verywell Mind article: Victim Mentality: Definition, Causes, and Ways to Cope Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology TodayCoaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx More transgender families: YouTube Channel: Great ScottsYouTube Channel: JammidodgerYouTube Channel: The RageThe Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic TransformationsChicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF)GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender PeopleNational Center for Transgender Equality ally guideHuman Rights Campaign ally guide * * * Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

After a death in my spouse's family, she has her first interaction with her dad in a very long time. Can someone who is unsupportive about their child's transition come around and realize that transgender people are just people? Possibly. For my spouse, her dad has taken a positive step forward. Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology TodayCoaching More transgender families: Great ScottsJammidodgerThe RageMy Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic TransformationsSuburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman Information for allies: Guide to Being a Trans AllyTips for Allies of Transgender Peopleally guideally guide * * * Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

My transgender spouse mentioned that she wants to be addressed as female at all times, including our past. For me, it doesn’t feel honest because I have only been married to a transgender woman for two years vs. 13 years with a male. In this episode, we chat about the issue from both perspectives and ultimately, there is no real solution except to take it case-by-case. Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology TodayCoaching More transgender families: Great ScottsJammidodgerThe RageMy Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic TransformationsSuburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman Information for allies: Guide to Being a Trans AllyTips for Allies of Transgender Peopleally guideally guide * * * Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

I ask our 10-year-old son how he is feeling since his male-to-female parent, my spouse, had facial feminization surgery (FFS) a few months ago in December. Judging by his responses, I needlessly worried about how he would do. Resources for Kids & Families: COLAGEShe's My DadHe's My MomNo One Owns the ColorsThe World Needs More Purple PeopleIt's Okay to be DifferentRed: A Crayon's StoryTransgender Reading List for AdultsBooks about Trans Parents for Kids and AdultsData Regarding Transgender Parents (2020)How LGBTQ+ Parents Can Handle Coming out to Their ChildrenHere's a Way to Start a Conversation with KidsComing Out Trans to your KidsGoing from "Daddy" to "Mommy": What will I Tell My KidsFAQ About Transgender Parenting Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology TodayCoaching More transgender families: Great ScottsJammidodgerThe RageMy Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic TransformationsSuburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman Information for allies: Guide to Being a Trans AllyTips for Allies of Transgender Peopleally guideally guide * * * Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

In this episode, I share my real feelings about FFS before and after, and my spouse discusses how things look and feel two months post-surgery. Articles and Resources for Transgender Health: World Professional Association for Transgender HealthResource list for Trans Healthcare ProvidersFFS Improves Quality of Life for Transgender People, Study SaysAMA - Creating an LGBTQ-Friendly Practice More transgender families: Great ScottsJammidodgerThe RageMy Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic TransformationsSuburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman Information for allies: Guide to Being a Trans AllyTips for Allies of Transgender Peopleally guideally guide * * * Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

Early in December, my spouse had facial feminization surgery (FFS). The day before her surgery, we recorded a brief discussion to share with you about why she felt she was ready for it, if she was worried about how our 10-year-old son might react, and any other concerns she might have. As someone living with a transgender person, I now understand how important this step can be toward treating gender dysphoria. Mentioned in this episode: LGBTQ+ Health Program Articles and Resources for Transgender Health: World Professional Association for Transgender HealthResource list for Trans Healthcare ProvidersFFS Improves Quality of Life for Transgender People, Study SaysAMA - Creating an LGBTQ-Friendly Practice More transgender families: Great ScottsJammidodgerThe RageMy Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women’s Wives on Their Own Dramatic TransformationsSuburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman Information for allies: Guide to Being a Trans AllyTips for Allies of Transgender Peopleally guideally guide * * * Get in touch, I’m happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee