The Art of Charm

Why do some people stand out and get ahead—even when they’re not the most qualified? In this episode, AJ and Johnny sit down with Harvard professor and author Laura Huang to unpack the hidden force she calls “edge”—and how anyone can create it. Laura shares how to turn bias into opportunity, why adversity can actually be an advantage, and what successful people do differently when it comes to perception and presence. With insights from years of research and personal experience, she reveals how to sharpen your signals, own your story, and make others believe in your value before you even speak. If you’ve ever felt overlooked or underestimated, this episode gives you the roadmap to flip the script. What to Listen For [00:00:00] What is “edge” and why it matters more than credentials [00:02:45] How Laura’s own story shaped her research [00:05:29] The real difference between hustle and strategic effort [00:08:17] Why perceptions matter more than you think [00:11:06] How to reframe bias as a tool, not a limitation [00:14:22] Turning stereotypes into signals of strength [00:17:38] What successful people do to make others believe in them [00:21:05] The four components of creating your edge [00:24:46] Laura’s advice for standing out in competitive environments [00:27:12] How to own your narrative and signal confidence A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Episode resources: Laura Huang's Website EDGE Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you dread networking events, this episode explains why — and how to flip the script. AJ and Johnny break down the toxic "always be closing" mindset and show how high performers actually build deep connections that lead to real opportunity. Hear the story of Ryan, a client who 10x’d his sales by ditching the pitch and leading with value. You’ll learn how to use emotional intelligence, curiosity, and validation to become magnetic at any event — without chasing anyone. [00:00:00] Why "closing the deal" is the wrong goal in social settings [00:02:41] How Ryan turned things around by shifting his approach [00:04:59] The 3 social habits that repel high-value connections [00:07:26] A smarter way to approach networking events [00:09:01] The role of validation and emotional bids in influence [00:11:33] Why your intentions are more visible than you think [00:13:18] Tactical relationship-building for introverts and pros alike A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Episode resources: ⁠⁠HowardFalco.com⁠⁠ Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Former FBI crisis negotiator Gary Noesner joins AJ and Johnny to unpack what it means to lead—and survive—under pressure. With over 30 years of field experience in prison riots, armed standoffs, and emotionally charged confrontations, Gary reveals what separates panic from poise and noise from influence. They break down the psychological mechanics of negotiation, how to build trust when lives are at stake, and why the best negotiators don’t dominate—they disarm. Gary also shares how emotional neutrality, tone of voice, and even silence can be decisive tools when everything is on the line. Whether you're navigating a boardroom, a conflict, or your own internal reactions, this episode gives you an elite mental framework forged in the FBI’s toughest scenarios. What to Listen For[00:00:00] Gary’s 30-year FBI career and what makes a good negotiator[00:03:49] The difference between control and dominance in conflict[00:07:16] What “emotional neutrality” really means in crisis situations[00:11:02] Why listening can be more powerful than persuasion[00:14:35] The importance of tone and tempo in gaining trust[00:17:58] How Gary handles aggression without escalating it[00:21:40] The role of ego in failed negotiations[00:26:33] Gary’s rules for de-escalating fast-moving tension[00:30:19] What civilians get wrong about confrontation[00:33:44] Takeaways from three decades of high-stakes negotiation A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Episode resources: GaryNoesner.com Stalling for Time Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most people dread small talk. But in this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ and Johnny explain why it’s not about the weather, jobs, or generic questions—it’s about emotional connection. Discover the science of “emotional bids,” a concept from Dr. John Gottman that unlocks deeper conversations and lasting influence. AJ shares a real story of using this skill at a high-stakes networking event, while Johnny shows how emotional validation can turn awkward exchanges into moments that matter. Whether you’re meeting new people, trying to stand out in a crowd, or just want to feel more socially confident, this three-step framework will change the way you communicate forever. What to Listen For: [00:00:00] Why most people hate small talk—and why they’re wrong [00:02:20] The hidden purpose of small talk: emotional diagnostics [00:03:37] How memory and conversation are tied to heightened states [00:05:25] AJ’s breakthrough moment at a high-profile DC event [00:07:16] Emotional bids explained with real-world examples [00:09:35] The 3 types of responses to emotional bids [00:10:39] Why validation increases trust and influence [00:11:35] Johnny’s "tin can" metaphor for relationship-building [00:13:36] Client story: From frozen out to followed up [00:14:39] The 3-step formula to transform small talk into deep talk A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Episode resources: ⁠HowardFalco.com⁠ Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it really mean to reclaim your power? In this deep and grounded episode of Social Intelligence, AJ and Johnny talk with transformation coach Howard Falco about why so many men feel off-track—even when they’re doing all the “right” things. Howard reveals why insight alone isn’t enough, and how true transformation only happens when we confront ourselves, embody stillness, and live in full alignment. From breaking spiritual performance habits to building inner strength, this episode is a call to live with energy, truth, and direction. What to listen for: [00:00:00] Why intellectual insight doesn’t equal transformation [00:04:42] The trap of spiritual performance and emotional bypassing [00:08:37] Why men feel lost even after “doing the work” [00:11:12] The role of embodiment in building internal power [00:14:25] How stillness reveals what you’re really avoiding [00:18:49] Leading yourself before leading others [00:22:03] What true self-trust feels like—and how to build it [00:26:16] The difference between hype energy and grounded energy [00:29:58] Why you don’t need to be fixed—you need to be clear [00:33:45] Howard’s message for men who feel disconnected or stuck A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Episode resources: HowardFalco.com Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do some people walk into a room and instantly attract attention, introductions, and opportunities—while others grind endlessly and get ignored? In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ and Johnny break down the science of social gravity—a real, research-backed force that explains how connection works like attraction, not effort. They reveal the five key drivers that increase your social “mass,” from showing up to adding value, and how trust, similarity, and usefulness make you magnetic. If you’re tired of chasing validation and ready to start drawing others to you naturally, this episode outlines the playbook. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Social gravity explained: why connection is like gravity, not hustle [00:01:24] The science behind mass: trust, visibility, and perceived closeness [00:02:23] Five drivers of pull: proximity, similarity, positive affect, trust, instrumentality [00:03:24] Why simply showing up builds momentum and visibility [00:03:53] Similarity bias: how to signal shared identity in conversation [00:05:18] The underrated power of warmth and enthusiasm in social settings [00:07:02] Reciprocity and trust: how adding value attracts others [00:09:47] Becoming useful: why helping others boosts your social value [00:11:24] Network centrality: how to build influence across multiple groups [00:12:43] The gravity loop: how clients become the ones people chase A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the key to change isn’t willpower—but persuasion? In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak sit down with Jay Heinrichs, bestselling author and renowned rhetoric expert, to uncover how the ancient tools of persuasion can be turned inward. Drawing from Aristotle, Taylor Swift, and even personal injury, Jay reveals how to reframe identity, build emotional endurance, and use the “dark art” of rhetoric for transformation. From redefining suffering as training to manipulating yourself into greatness, this episode offers practical strategies and philosophical insights for anyone stuck in cycles of self-doubt, burnout, or stagnation. If you've ever wanted to master your inner dialogue, this conversation will arm you with the tools to rewrite your story and reclaim agency. What to Listen For[00:00:00] Persuading yourself: the ancient secret to real change[00:05:06] The absurd goal that pulled Jay out of self-pity[00:08:37] Aristotle’s identity formula: craft, caring, cause[00:12:41] How 300 painful shots became “training” through reframing[00:17:44] The rhetorical trick introverts use to fake extroversion[00:19:07] A ninth-grade confidence hack that still works[00:21:24] Why catchy rhythms rewire your brain (and boost belief)[00:24:35] Taylor Swift’s treadmill ritual—and the power of prep[00:27:44] Manipulating yourself without lying to yourself[00:33:32] Donut or apple? How shame beats guilt for better choices[00:36:47] The mindset shift before running a mountain[00:41:58] Turning chaos into opportunity with kairos[00:47:49] A quick trick to bounce back from failure[00:50:11] Why timing—not talent—made Jay’s book a bestseller A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Episode resources: ⁠JayHeinrichs.com How Ancient Rhetoric, Taylor Swift, and Your Own Soul Can Help You Change Your Life Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more...

Do people like you… but never seem to respect you? In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak reveal the hidden social trap of being “too agreeable.” While it might seem like the best way to build rapport, research shows that excessive agreeableness actually suppresses your influence, erodes your authenticity, and leads to burnout. You’ll learn why likability isn’t the goal—and how the Three C Model (Challenge, Curiosity, and Contrast) can transform your conversations into memorable, high-impact interactions that demand attention and build real connection. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why being likable doesn't make you more influential [00:01:15] The hidden cost of being predictably agreeable: burnout and boredom [00:02:27] Why people won’t respect your time if you don’t value it first [00:04:00] Agreeableness suppresses authenticity—and makes others trust you less [00:04:37] The Harvard study: Why respectful disagreement builds stronger connection [00:06:28] The Three C Model for breaking free from the “nice” trap [00:07:13] How to challenge respectfully without sounding combative [00:07:55] Curiosity with intention: The secret to deepening conversations [00:08:21] Contrast with authenticity: Sharing personal truths to build influence [00:10:44] Why most people operate from a worldview they never chose [00:12:04] Mistake #3: Agreeing when you actually disagree [00:12:42] Likability ≠ connection—how hiding your thoughts delays rejection [00:13:08] What is “productive friction” and why it makes you unforgettable [00:13:54] Take the Influence Index assessment to uncover your social blind spots A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can being "too smart" actually hold you back socially? In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak sit down with Anne-Laure Le Cunff—founder of Ness Labs and a former Googler turned neuroscience researcher—to explore the psychology of overthinking, social fatigue, and emotional connection for high performers. If you've ever felt drained after socializing, struggled to connect in unstructured conversations, or defaulted to overanalyzing instead of just vibing, Anne-Laure’s insights will change how you see your brain—and your relationships. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Meet Anne-Laure: Neuroscience researcher, entrepreneur, and former Googler [00:02:01] What inspired Anne-Laure to walk away from Silicon Valley [00:04:02] The science of mental fitness: training your mind like a muscle [00:05:42] Why smart people often struggle in social settings [00:07:50] Overthinking vs. high thinking: what’s the difference? [00:09:20] Anne-Laure’s framework for emotional granularity [00:11:03] The hidden impact of unspoken emotions on your connections [00:12:42] How journaling and reflection sharpen your emotional vocabulary [00:14:35] Real-time self-awareness: catching yourself before you spiral [00:16:04] Why smart people default to logic instead of connection—and how to fix it [00:18:20] The loneliness trap of overperformance [00:20:03] How Anne-Laure blends neuroscience with self-compassion [00:22:01] The importance of emotional bandwidth and recovery [00:24:40] What socially intelligent people do differently after high-effort conversations [00:27:20] Tools for restoring your energy after social drain [00:29:00] Why connection doesn’t mean constant performance [00:31:05] Anne-Laure’s advice for other deep thinkers navigating real relationships A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Episode resources: https://anne-laure.net/ Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about...

If you’ve ever felt invisible in a room full of people, it’s not your personality—it’s your presence. In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ and John unpack the three research-backed traits that make people charismatic, memorable, and magnetic—whether you're an introvert or not. You’ll learn how charisma isn't a gift you’re born with, but a skill you can train. From mastering body language to showing emotional generosity, this episode delivers the tools to light up every room you walk into—without faking it or burning out. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why charisma beats competence in winning attention and influence[00:01:30] The Harvard study that proves social intelligence matters more than IQ[00:03:00] Syncing with others: why charismatic people create biological resonance[00:04:00] How charisma helps introverts use energy efficiently—not drain it[00:05:00] Trait #1: Presence — why micro-pauses and ditching your phone matter[00:06:30] The hedge fund manager who finally nailed charisma by showing up differently[00:08:00] Trait #2: Enthusiasm — the underrated superpower of emotional generosity[00:09:30] Why asking, “What do you love about your job?” instantly creates connection[00:11:00] Trait #3: Confidence — the body leads the mind, not the other way around[00:12:30] Smiling, posture, and anchoring the room: the nonverbal signs of true confidence[00:14:00] How to mentally prep for presence: “Who do I want to be? How do I want them to feel?”[00:15:30] Weekly challenge: your three-part field test for real-time charisma training Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When high-stakes emotions hit — anger, anxiety, fear — most people default to either freezing or reacting. In this episode of Social Intelligence, Dr. Ryan Fehr, a leadership professor at the University of Washington, shares tools that help Navy SEALs, Fortune 500 execs, and everyday professionals regulate emotions under pressure. Ryan and AJ discuss how to train your brain to respond—rather than react—in critical moments, build emotional range, and use discomfort as a performance advantage. If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation thinking, “Why did I say that?”—this episode will show you how to stay in control when it matters most. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why emotional intelligence beats raw intellect under pressure[00:04:32] How to keep your cool during hard conversations[00:07:15] Why naming your emotions gives you back control (affect labeling)[00:11:28] The one mindset trick elite performers use to slow time during chaos[00:15:40] Why “emotional range” is more important than positivity[00:20:11] A Navy SEAL’s approach to mastering fear[00:24:57] How to recognize your “emotional dashboard” before you blow up[00:29:45] Why overconfidence is emotionally blinding — and how to fix it[00:36:01] How Ryan teaches emotional control to MBA students and CEOs[00:42:16] Emotional safety in leadership: what the research actually shows[00:47:20] A 10-second tool to stay grounded when you want to explode[00:51:55] What to do after an emotional failure — the self-compassion loop A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Resources from this Episode ⁠⁠⁠Dr. Abbie Marono's website⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠The Upper Hand⁠⁠⁠ Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this short, tactical episode, AJ and Johnny deliver a science-backed masterclass on how to create presentations that audiences remember. Forget reading from your slides and dumping data. This episode outlines four proven strategies that top speakers use to captivate attention, boost retention, and make every talk land with clarity and impact. What to Listen For: [00:00] The brutal truth: people forget 90% of what they hear[00:58] Strategy #1: Control the 10% – what’s the one thing they should remember?[01:44] The science behind memory decay and how to structure around it[03:05] Strategy #2: Use the Memory Curve – why timing matters more than you think[04:12] Why you must “open with fire and close with clarity”[05:23] Strategy #3: Kill the Split-Attention Effect – how to avoid losing your audience to your slides[06:32] Minimal text, bold visuals, and Phil Jackson’s secret to motivating elite performers[07:58] Strategy #4: Prevent Cognitive Overload – why more data = less retention[09:04] The Rule of Three: a high-performer’s framework for simplifying complex ideas[10:12] Recap of the 4 strategies that separate forgettable from impactful[10:46] How top performers “wire it” – real-world drills inside the X-Factor Accelerator[11:15] What “persuasion triggers” are—and how they level up leaders in real time A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠ Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠⁠⁠ Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Resources from this Episode ⁠⁠Dr. Abbie Marono's website⁠⁠ ⁠⁠The Upper Hand⁠⁠ Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do some leaders command respect while others get ignored? In this episode of Social Intelligence, Stanford professor and venture capitalist Robert Siegel breaks down the overlooked behaviors that separate average performers from high-impact leaders. Drawing on decades of research and real-world business experience, Robert shares how humility, listening, and honest self-reflection are the key ingredients to long-term success. You’ll learn how to thrive in chaotic environments, shift from control to trust, and build loyalty in the people you lead — whether you’re running a startup, a classroom, or a family. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why Robert’s background in tech and venture capital revealed a pattern in great leaders[00:03:11] What leaders miss when they mistake charisma for competence[00:07:19] The value of slowing down and listening — even when you’re under pressure[00:10:32] Why being the smartest person in the room can make you ineffective[00:14:09] Lessons from Motorola: how “hero culture” undermined the team[00:18:23] The danger of over-optimizing for control instead of building trust[00:25:00] The “credibility bank account” and how it affects influence and decision-making[00:31:11] What CEOs often miss about emotional intelligence[00:38:30] The role of humility in hiring, managing, and growing a company[00:44:15] Why balancing empathy and execution is the mark of a real leader[00:51:20] The underrated superpower of asking good questions instead of giving answers[00:56:42] What Robert teaches his Stanford students about legacy and influence A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠ Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠⁠ Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠. Resources from this Episode ⁠Dr. Abbie Marono's website⁠ ⁠The Upper Hand⁠ Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most people attend networking events hoping something good happens. High-performers don’t hope — they engineer connection. In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ and John share a 3-part framework for dominating networking events without faking extroversion or relying on luck. You’ll learn how to build relationships before the event even starts, create social capital in real-time, and make sure your connections actually turn into opportunities after the event. If you’re tired of leaving conferences with nothing but a stack of business cards, this is your blueprint for finally making networking work. What to Listen For [00:00:00] The problem with most networking: business cards, but no real relationships[00:01:00] Strategy 1: Host a private dinner before the event to create instant connections[00:03:00] How one client turned a simple dinner into the most talked-about moment of the conference[00:04:40] The science behind why pre-event exposure boosts trust (Mere Exposure Effect)[00:06:00] Strategy 2: How to become a super-connector — even if you’re introverted[00:07:48] How live introductions instantly raise your status and social capital[00:08:53] Strategy 3: Get hyper-specific about who you want to meet[00:10:00] Why vague networking goals lead to vague results[00:11:00] The follow-up system: 60-90 minutes that turn conversations into real opportunities[00:12:07] How the pre-event dinner creates a collaborative "team" approach to networking[00:14:09] Swing for the fences: how one client landed a keynote speaker at dinner[00:15:12] The magic of networking happens before and after—not during A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠ Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠⁠ Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠. Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most people think influence is about clever tactics or quick wins. But true, lasting influence is built on trust, emotional intelligence, and understanding how people really think. In this episode of Social Intelligence, Abbie Morano returns to reveal her 5-principle framework for ethical influence — combining biology, psychology, and social dynamics. Abbie breaks down why short-term manipulation backfires, how to guide conversations by giving others control, and why your own emotional regulation is the foundation for building real trust. If you want to increase your influence in high-stakes conversations, negotiations, or leadership, this is the playbook. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why ethical influence starts with regulating your own emotions[00:04:00] The difference between manipulation and pro-social engineering[00:07:17] Why short-term wins lead to long-term losses[00:10:00] Abbie’s 5 core principles for influence: bio-psycho-social framework[00:15:00] How triggering survival instincts blocks trust and cooperation[00:20:42] The danger of ultimatums—and how they backfire in negotiations[00:23:00] How “structured choices” increase compliance while preserving control[00:26:20] Why authenticity isn’t a tactic—it’s a long-term advantage[00:34:00] The power of “pantsing yourself” to defuse conflict and lower aggression[00:41:00] How self-identity shapes every influence conversation[00:52:47] How to prepare for high-stakes conversations using the full framework[01:00:12] Why emotional regulation is the first step toward true influence A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠ Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠ Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠. Resources from this Episode Dr. Abbie Marono's website The Upper Hand Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You only get one shot at a first impression—and most of it happens before you even speak. In this episode, AJ and John break down the four science-backed factors that shape how people instantly judge your presence, confidence, and trustworthiness. Whether you’re walking into a job interview, a networking event, or a first date, you’ll get actionable strategies to control the room from the moment you walk in. From body language and clothing to the psychology of where you stand in a room, this episode reveals the subtle social cues that silently make or break your first impression. Stick around for the 5-minute upgrade challenge at the end to rewire your muscle memory and command attention effortlessly. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why high-stakes moments make us hyper-aware—and how to stay grounded[00:01:06] Why it can take 10 interactions to fix a bad first impression[00:02:00] The body language science that explains how people judge you in 6 seconds[00:03:00] Why your health, energy, and confidence are silently being evaluated[00:04:27] The “Glow Up” effect: how working out boosts your presence[00:05:00] How to use the “Doorway Drill” to reprogram your posture and vibe[00:07:00] The power of enclothed cognition: how clothes impact your mindset[00:08:57] How style and grooming signal status—without saying a word[00:09:21] Why standing in the shadows destroys your social proof[00:10:44] The 4-step “First Impression Challenge” to prime your body and mind[00:11:00] Visual cue trick to make confident posture automatic[00:12:21] How to walk into any room like you own it A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠ Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠ Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠. Resources from this Episode ⁠Speak, Memorably: The Art of Captivating an Audience⁠ Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠ ⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠ ⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠ ⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠ ⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you think good communication means saying more, think again. Emmy-winning journalist and executive coach Bill McGowan joins AJ and Johnny to reveal the science of saying less—but meaning more. From boardrooms to interviews, Bill has coached some of the world’s top leaders (and celebrities) to craft compelling, unforgettable messages—and today, he’s sharing the playbook. In this episode, you’ll learn how to ditch jargon, avoid rambling, and master your “media moment.” Whether you’re giving a presentation, going on a first date, or handling a tough question at work, this is your guide to sounding confident, concise, and charismatic under pressure. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why overexplaining hurts your credibility[00:03:45] The power of “soundbite thinking” and how to master it[00:07:12] How to speak with authority—without sounding rehearsed[00:10:26] Why strong visuals beat fancy vocabulary in storytelling[00:13:19] The secret to controlling your body language under pressure[00:15:54] Why silence is one of the most persuasive communication tools[00:20:46] The “message box” framework used by media pros[00:26:17] How to be memorable when you only have 30 seconds[00:35:21] Why “smooth talkers” often come across as insincere[00:45:07] How to prep for tough questions without sounding scripted[00:54:32] Final advice: the three words to avoid in every presentation Episode Takeaways Brevity is credibility: People trust speakers who get to the point “Soundbite” training prepares you to be remembered—not just heard Strategic silence creates impact and signals confidence Storytelling drives emotional engagement more than stats ever can The best communicators speak with rhythm, not speed Being memorable isn’t accidental—it’s trained A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠CIA-proven guide⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠quince.com/charm⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠shopify.com/charm⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at www.rula.com/charm Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠. Resources from this Episode Speak, Memorably: The Art of Captivating an Audience Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠ ⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠ ⁠AJ on Instagram⁠ ⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠ ⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠ ⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠ ⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most people think confidence means knowing exactly what to say. But in reality, social confidence starts with knowing how to start—not how to be perfect. In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak break down how to overcome the awkwardness of small talk, crush anxiety before it starts, and connect instantly in any room. You’ll learn the three best ways to open a conversation (even if you’re nervous), why the “question trap” makes you less likable, and how to train your brain to love social situations. Whether you're walking into a party, a networking event, or just standing in line at a coffee shop, this episode gives you the exact tools to go from anxious to magnetic. What to listen for 00:00:00] Why social confidence isn’t about charm—it’s about reps[00:01:32] The hidden reason small talk feels so hard[00:03:06] Three bulletproof openers that work in any situation[00:05:12] The “Q&A-S” method to keep a conversation flowing[00:06:48] Why your brain shuts down in social moments—and how to stop it[00:08:15] Reframing nerves as energy, not anxiety[00:09:43] The exposure ladder: how to train social confidence[00:11:03] One challenge to level up your next five conversations Episode takeaways Social confidence is a muscle—repetition builds ease The best openers are simple, contextual, and observational Avoid the “question trap”—use question, answer, statement instead Nervousness and excitement feel the same—your label creates your experience Your brain mirrors your inner dialogue—speak to yourself like you would a friend Use an “exposure ladder” to gradually rewire social fear into connection Magnetic people aren’t born—they’re built through consistent reps A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠CIA-proven guide⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠quince.com/charm⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠shopify.com/charm⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠. Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠. Resources from this Episode ⁠Anna Goldfarb on Substack⁠ ⁠Anna Goldfarb on Instagram⁠ ⁠Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections⁠ Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠ ⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠ ⁠AJ on Instagram⁠ ⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠ ⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠ ⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠ ⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Modern life has made friendship feel more confusing, fragile, and isolating than ever. In this episode, journalist and author Anna Goldfarb joins us to unpack the paradox of modern friendship — why we’re lonelier despite being more connected, and what we can do to build stronger, more fulfilling relationships. Anna shares her “Triple D” framework (Desire, Diligence, Delight) and breaks down the hidden architecture of great friendships: clear aboutness, healthy compartmentalization, emotional maturity, and the courage to reconnect. Whether you’re tired of being everyone’s unpaid therapist or simply wondering how to revive a drifting connection, this episode gives you the practical tools and emotional insight to reset your social life — no cringe required. What to Listen For [00:00] Why affection alone isn’t enough for deep friendship [00:01:09] What’s changed about adult friendships — and why we’re feeling more disconnected [00:04:16] The hidden cost of unlimited choice and hyper-individualism [00:08:07] Active vs. nostalgic friendships: how to tell the difference [00:11:19] Every great friendship has an “About” — and here’s how to find yours [00:14:39] 6 hard truths about friendship (and how to stop blaming yourself) [00:23:01] Why emotional maturity is the new social skillset [00:33:56] The Triple D framework for building strong friendships [00:44:10] How to avoid being an unpaid therapist (and stop pushing people away) [00:52:34] The Friendship Cleanse: reset your network with clarity and care Episode Takeaways: Connection isn’t about quantity — it’s about clear shared meaning. Find your friendship “About.” It’s okay to compartmentalize your relationships. Not every friend needs to be your everything. Friendships require maintenance. If it matters, don’t let the silence stretch too long. Maturity means asking: am I showing up the way I want to be treated? Most people want to reconnect. They’re just waiting on someone to go first. Make time for delight. Reignite friendships by creating new shared memories — not just rehashing old ones. A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Resources from this Episode Anna Goldfarb on Substack Anna Goldfarb on Instagram Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You’ve got names in your phone that make you smile—but when’s the last time you actually reached out? In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak share four simple, science-backed strategies to reconnect with old friends, former mentors, and professional contacts—even if it’s been years. From “because I thought of you” texts to expert taps and nostalgia sparks, this is your action plan for rebuilding relationships that matter. If you’ve been waiting for the perfect moment to reach out, this episode is your sign to stop waiting and start reconnecting. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why reconnection matters—and why it feels harder than it actually is [00:03:00] Why people appreciate surprise check-ins more than you think [00:04:30] Strategy #1: The Expert Tap—ask for advice to reignite respect [00:06:30] Strategy #2: The Thoughtful Share—send content that reflects shared interests [00:08:30] Strategy #3: The Nostalgia Spark—use memories to bring back connection [00:09:30] Strategy #4: The Results Loop—follow up on past advice to show impact [00:10:30] Why mentors love hearing the outcome of their guidance [00:12:00] This week’s challenge: Reconnect with 3 people using any strategy Episode Takeaways Most people love being contacted out of the blue, even if it’s been years Rebuilding old relationships is often faster and more impactful than making new ones Use the Expert Tap to ask for advice—it shows respect and reignites connection Send a Thoughtful Share (article, podcast, project) to rekindle shared interests Trigger warm emotions through Nostalgia Sparks—photos or throwback memories Close the Results Loop by showing how someone’s past advice helped you Reaching out adds real value to others’ lives and strengthens your network long-term This week: reconnect with one friend, one mentor, and one former coworker Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices