The Luke and Pete Show

Turns out your favourite duo aren’t the only Luke and Pete in the wider podcasting ecosystem. So now we have extensive beef with a seemingly questionable Pete and Luke we’ve just stumbled across. That aside, Luke discusses his new potential career as a sleep coach (“just get your head down”) and we finally crack the Steven Bartlett conundrum. Plus, peculiar places to watch the O.J. Simpson car chase, batteries aplenty and the grim, grey line between what’s socially acceptable and illegal within the confines of your own car. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete and a laryngitis-ridden Luke settle in for a thoroughly analytical breakdown of the current state of the UK box office. Plus, we have to ask the difficult question: is Keanu Reaves actually terrible at acting? Elsewhere we get an update from the Bad Boy of Pétanque, hear of badgers terrorising Pete’s local area and a listener’s going to Glastonbury and hasn’t heard of Neil Young - Luke ain’t happy… Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We’re keeping it British today, as we get through our respective Nando’s orders and rank the frankly outrageous eating habits from our student days. Oh and Pete nearly attempted a park run but got distracted. Plus, some incredible attempts at New Players and we start building our Mount Rushmore of conspiracy theories #doyourownresearch. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, the lads kick things off with a classic Jeremy Kyle moment: a man boldly declares he loves cocaine more than his kids. This prompts a discussion on addiction where Luke accuses Pete of being addicted to papier-mâché (he doesn’t deny it) and Pete issues a public warning about glue powders – specifically the deeply cursed meat glue. Elsewhere, a casual confession about a recent outdoor wee sends them into a surprisingly passionate debate about the regional politics of public urination. And yes, Pete’s still convinced he could build Luke’s house extension. Luke hasn’t yet been persuaded. Just another completely normal Monday. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Luke’s livid at the fact he’s stuck with just one Father’s Day while his wife gets to celebrate Mother’s Day in both the UK and US. Meanwhile, Pete’s only just realised you’re supposed to buy your partner a Mother’s Day gift… and it’s her first one, too. Strong start! Elsewhere, Pete confidently declares Neil Young a B-grade artist, but Luke’s not having any of it. Choosing to rise above Pete’s attempt at antagonising him, he dives into the new Becoming Led Zeppelin doc, while Donny reminisces about working Glasto for the free ticket and reminds us of his golden rule: getting blasted drunk is the only way to enjoy it. Also on the docket: Chris Eubank Sr’s flawless skin. Naturally. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Fresh off a Football Ramble tour, the lads recap a monster journey back from Glasgow, including a five-hour delay, a detour through Edinburgh, and a run-in with a wildly unpredictable couple who produced not one but two cats mid-journey. Pete and Vish witnessed it all, while Luke, blissfully unaware, sat back with noise-cancelling headphones and a Nazi documentary. Elsewhere, the lads get stuck into Glastonbury chat, Luke’s actively praying for a washout, and then take a deep dive into what really makes someone a nepo baby. Does Matty Healy owe it all to his soap-star parents? And if Pete’s daughter ends up in the spotlight, does having two radio DJ parents automatically seal her fate? The lads investigate. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete kicks things off by unpacking the most scandalous moment of the 2025 Met Gala: Rosa Parks printed on a pair of knickers. Naturally, this leads Luke to ask the big question: are we just getting stupider as a society? Then comes the real shocker…Met Gala tickets cost $75,000. Luke’s astounded, and takes it as the perfect excuse to launch into a full-blown rant about stamp duty and the state of everything. Plus, Pete pulls the ultimate contrarian move by refusing to watch Adolescence, instead pledging to watch every other show with the same name so he can still join in the chat. And a listener's email sparks a surprisingly grim realisation: are astro turf pitches just giant Petri dishes?...Absolutely. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Luke poses a crucial hypothetical: if music awards only went to artists who’ve never taken a stimulant… who’d actually be left? The lads then dive into the legacy of “straight-head” rockstars and debate whether Winston Marshall’s post-banjo pivot into far-right politics really counts as a glow-up. Spoiler: it doesn’t. Elsewhere, Pete’s parenting takes a turn after he accidentally locks his baby in the car and has to coach her through unlocking it from the inside. And finally, a listener’s clash with a Tesco jobsworth triggers painful Nectar card flashbacks for Luke. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The lads hop aboard the Steven Bartlett hate train, again, and Pete accuses Luke of being just a little jealous. Elsewhere, Luke shares the tale of a house party gone horribly wrong, involving 30 mates, a wax strip, and one extremely unfortunate soul. Then it’s on to an email special, where Pete proudly declares he’d still jump into a pool even if someone had just done a shit in it…as long as it had been sieved out. His argument? “The water’s touching your arsehole anyway.” Luke isn’t convinced. Plus, the lads get curious about our new resident LAPS HGV driver…Amphetamines? Sex workers? What is the image of the long-distance trucker in 2025? Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Luke’s on a mission to become the most pasty man in Britain, while Pete’s seriously considering a Juicy Couture tracksuit… naturally. Then, the lads weigh in on the Eubank Jr vs Benn fight, the legacy of their famously fiery dads, and Luke recalls being genuinely terrified of Nigel Benn as a ten-year-old. Also on the docket: is it ever okay to let a builder use your toilet? Pete probably wouldn’t mind, he’s got four, and Luke is absolutely astounded! Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After foxes ransack Pete’s nappy bins, Luke suggests a very DIY deterrent: peeing in an Evian bottle to mark his territory… not that he’s speaking from experience. And if he was, he certainly wouldn’t have been caught mid-stream by his wife. Definitely not. Meanwhile, Pete’s overhydration saga hits rock bottom with a full-bladder emergency on the M25, resulting in an SOS wee right outside of a British Airways training centre. Dignity? Absolutely none. Plus, Luke solves a listener’s cat poo problem. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Fresh off the plane back from Vegas, Pete takes aim at the culinary crime scene that is Panda Express and regales us with tales of invisible man matches, and his new survival tool of choice: melatonin. Elsewhere, Luke delivers the brutal news about Chick-fil-A’s problematic past and the lads wonder why anyone cares what other people spend their money on. Plus, Pete narrowly avoids a risky duck blood meal before his 11-hour flight home and Luke’s genuinely impressed with his growth! Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete kicks things off with an identity crisis – he’s convinced he’s 34, and Luke has the unenviable task of breaking the news that he’s... absolutely not. Talk then turns to Pete’s upcoming WrestleMe Vegas trip and the truly chaotic prospect of a 120-man Royal Rumble. That’s a lot of sweaty bodies! Elsewhere, after a brief detour into 'The Slug', the lads debate where the line is drawn between harmless kink and full-blown creep behaviour. Plus, why do homophobes always say things are being jammed down their throats? Is it just a coincidence… or the Freudian slip of the century? Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, Luke reflects on the pain of a joke that doesn't land with Gen Z — but insists it’s them, not him. He also shares the story of his Seven Sisters hike gone wrong, which left him injured and his wife unimpressed. Elsewhere, Pete reckons he might have worms after a week of dodgy meals — there’s always a gastrological problem with him isn’t there! The lads also dive into golf’s strangest traditions… like the Masters champion choosing the dinner for the following year. So, what would you have? Plus, an obituary writer sends in a lovely snap of his writer’s shed. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, Luke and Pete dive into the UK’s sugar tax and discover why Mexican Coke is far superior. Luke confesses he can’t stomach the punch of full-fat drinks anymore, unlike Pete, who’s mesmerised by the sheer amount of sugar he could consume — enough to make his liver beautifully sweet! Elsewhere, they reflect on how acting has improved since the 80s, with Pete arguing that we’re expecting way too much from actors these days. Plus, he’s got some choice words for the kid from Adolescence, who, it turns out, actually did go to drama school… And, how upset should you really be if your popcorn shrimp still has the poo sack inside? Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, after Pete introduces us to the world of expat DJ channels, Luke is left wondering why some expats seem to loathe British culture — especially the ones who spend their days googling Sadiq Khan and eat only English food once they've moved to Spain. Luke wants absolutely nothing to do with it, so Pete offers up an alternative: life in a swamp, anyone? Plus, someone’s eating sunflower seeds with the shells still on…pure lunacy, and Pilot Dave is back in the LAPS cockpit! Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, Luke and Pete tackle life’s big questions: how much money would it take to make them disappear forever? A hundred quid would sort one of them, apparently. And whose teeth would look better in whose mouth? Elsewhere, Pete reminisces about the time he got hench for a bit, before he pitches the idea of having entrance music in the office like a WWE star. We also wonder if Elon Musk has daddy issues and Pete has a few words for scarily ambitious voiceover thief Charlie…not from Carlisle. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy Monday - it’s time for some more carefully curated nonsense. Luke recounts a bizarre standoff he had in Pret involving a truly odd policy #JusticeforMoore. We also get into the latest internet controversy swirling around our beloved Pete and blast through plenty of emails - including a listener who writes to us a few minutes before his vasectomy, an update on Norwich’s cultural impact and some breaking news concerning Stubbington Study Centre. Join us! Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete's latest predicament: finding appropriate places to urinate. Mainly because he's drinking upwards of nine litres of water a day. We work out how best to tackle that and dissect the most terrifying brunch experience imaginable. Plus, batteries aplenty and fixing kids' computers in the local neighbourhood. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, Luke and Pete stumble upon a truly baffling real estate listing — a London flat with a full-size swimming pool directly above a Chinese takeaway. What could possibly go wrong? The lads weigh up the pros and cons of living beneath an indoor ocean and debate whether they’d take the plunge. Elsewhere, Luke is horrified to learn that Donny refuses to moisturise, while Pete shares his survival guide for dealing with a toddler who has zero respect for bathroom privacy. Plus, the lads dissect Netflix’s new hit show Adolescence. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.