Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting

How can we help our children bounce back from setbacks and build lasting resilience? In this episode, Dr. Lisa Damour, Reena and Dr. Tovah Klein dive into the critical role parents play in fostering resilience in children. They break down the five pillars of resilience and offer practical advice on helping kids navigate failure while maintaining a steady presence. They discuss the importance of self-awareness and self-care for parents as we guide our children through life’s inevitable challenges. We want to hear from you! How do you help your children build resilience, and what challenges have you faced along the way? Tovah’s book: https://www.tovahklein.com/books#order Tovah’s website: https://www.tovahklein.com/ Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Keywords: resilience, children, parents, emotions, connection, acceptance, failure, setbacks, self-awareness, self-care, steady presence, dr. tovah p. klein Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is it okay for tweens and teens to swear? Or is it a behavior that is always grounds for concern? In this episode, Reena and Dr. Lisa tackle a heartfelt letter from a mom struggling with her 10-year-old’s explosive outbursts and explore why children are drawn to swearing and how, at times, it can be used to cause or express emotional pain. Dr. Lisa unpacks the research on why people swear, emphasizes the importance of predictability and consistency in setting boundaries around cursing, and discusses when swearing in tweens and teens might be a sign that it’s time to seek therapy or school counseling. We want to hear from you! How do you handle swearing in your household? Do you have the same rules for yourself and your kids? Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Keywords: swearing, cursing, emotional pain, therapy, predictability, consistency, swear words Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is your teen struggling with depression? This episode offers essential guidance on how parents can support their teens through tough times, from managing daily routines and addressing intrusive thoughts, to assessing the risk of self-harm. Dr. Lisa discusses various treatment options, including medication, therapy, and exercise, while emphasizing the importance of open conversations and the role of social media. We want to hear from you! How do you set healthy boundaries and safeguard your child’s mental well-being? Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Keywords: depression, teens, routines, intrusive thoughts, self-harm, medication, therapy, exercise, social media, boundaries Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is your child uninterested in team sports in a sports-obsessed town? In this episode, Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena offer practical advice for parents on finding alternative activities that align with your child's passions, while still fostering social connections. They explore the importance of nurturing your child’s confidence and self-worth, whether or not that includes team sports. We want to hear from you! Do you have a kid in a similar position? Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Keywords: support, team sports, athletic, unathletic, sports-obsessed town, physical activity, alternative physical activities, social connection, confidence, self-worth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Wondering how to approach the topic of masturbation with your teen? In this episode, Dr. Lisa and Reena dive into the challenges and importance of having open conversations about sexual development. They explore how sex-positive parenting can help remove shame from these discussions while respecting teens' need for privacy and boundaries. They also cover the influence of pornography and how parents can guide their teens toward healthier understandings of sex and relationships through thoughtful sex education. We want to hear from you! How do you foster non-judgmental communication and promote healthy attitudes toward sexuality? Books mentioned in this episode: Girls & Sex by Peggy Orenstein Boys & Sex by Peggy Orenstein Sex, Teens, & Everything In Between by Shafia Zaloom Yes, Your Kid by Debby Herbenick Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Keywords: masturbation, sex-positive parenting, shame, privacy, boundaries, pornography, sex education Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Feeling overwhelmed by the college admissions process? Dr. Lisa and Reena talk with Rick Clark, Executive Director of Strategic Student Access at Georgia Tech, to address key questions from listeners. From when to start the process, how to navigate standardized tests, to what it takes to craft a standout college essay, Rick shares expert advice on how to help your teen shine. Tune in to hear Rick’s perspective on financial aid, academic scholarships, athletic scholarships, and when it makes sense to turn to college consultants for support. We want to hear from you! How do you maintain a positive mindset and support your teen during the college admissions process? Rick’s Blog: https://sites.gatech.edu/admission-blog/author/rc218/ Rick’s Book & Workbook: https://www.truthaboutcollegeadmission.com/books Rick’s Podcast: https://www.truthaboutcollegeadmission.com/podcast Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Keywords: college admissions, process, standardized tests, support, college essay, standing out, college admissions, test-optional, college essay prompts, athletic scholarships, financial aid, scholarships, college consultants, positive mindset Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is your teen acting entitled? In this episode, Dr. Lisa shares practical tips to help parents and caregivers address entitlement and guide teens toward becoming responsible, empathetic adults. Dr. Lisa and Reena explore how holding high expectations, giving kids meaningful responsibilities, and being empathic can help teens move past self-centered behavior. We want to hear from you! How do you handle entitlement and maintain perspective during this phase? Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Keywords: entitlement, teenagers, parenting, routines, responsibilities, empathy, perspective, self-care Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is your middle schooler caught in the whirlwind of trash-talking and competitive behavior? You’re not alone. A parent writes asking for guidance on how to handle the social dynamics that boys often face in middle school, where establishing social power can involve trash-talking and intense competition. But what happens when your child feels uncomfortable with these behaviors? Dr. Lisa offers expert advice on how parents can be sensitive to their kids’ feelings, offer empathy, and start meaningful conversations that help them navigate these tricky situations. Reena & Dr. Lisa discuss practical strategies to guide your child through this challenging phase. We’d love to hear your thoughts! How do you manage competitive behavior and social dynamics in middle school? Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Keywords: boys, middle school, trash-talking, competitive behavior, social power, sensitive, parenting Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Are you struggling to support your teen through the ups and downs of body image and self-acceptance? Reena & Dr. Lisa dive into the complex psychology of parenting teens and tweens as they navigate eating, weight, and activity levels during puberty. A concerned parent writes in about her daughters’ struggles with body image. This episode explores the critical role parents play in supporting their teenagers through weight gain and body changes, addresses the dangers of dieting and restricted eating, and notes the red flags that may indicate the onset of an eating disorder. We want to hear from you! How do you help your teenager build a healthy relationship with food and their body? Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Keywords: teenagers, body image, weight gain, puberty, eating disorders, healthy eating habits, body positivity, red flags, parenting Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ready to make this school year your child’s best year yet? We’re kicking off Season 5 with special guest U.S. Secretary of Education Miguel Cardona! In this episode, Reena and Lisa explore the initiatives shaping the future of education. They discuss the importance of building community in schools, reducing chronic absenteeism, enhancing out-of-school activities, and expanding access to mental health support. Secretary Cardona shares powerful advice for parents on advocating for their children and celebrating their unique strengths, and Lisa emphasizes the critical role of connection in learning. More info on the 2024 Back to School Bus Tour. We want to hear from you! How are you preparing your child for the new school year? Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Keywords: education, school year, community, chronic absenteeism, out-of-school time, mental health support, relationships, uniqueness Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Live from New York, it’s the Digital Parenthood Summit! In this live episode, Dr. Lisa and Reena dive deep into the challenges of parenting in the digital age, exploring top concerns like managing kids' screen time, the pressure to get devices, and handling social media's impact on teens. They also discuss valuable strategies for putting boundaries on technology use, keeping phones out of bedrooms, and dealing with the reality of kids encountering toxic content online. We want to hear from you! How are you handling parenting in the digital age? Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Preparing for life after high school is about more than just getting into college - it’s also about having the ability to operate independently. A parent writes in worried about a charming, but disorganized, son. Dr. Lisa explains what executive functioning skills are - and how to help kids build them. Dr. Lisa and Reena address what drives procrastination in kids, how adults can provide executive functioning "training wheels," and how to get kids to do things like homework without having to nag constantly. The conversation also considers when parents should offer lots of support, and when kids should be allowed to feel the consequences of being disorganized. Get 15% off LolaVie with the code ASKLISA at https://www.lolavie.com/ASKLISA #lolaviepod Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Our special guest this week is author and journalist Jennifer Breheny Wallace, who discusses her brand new book: “Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic - And What We Can Do About It.” Dr. Lisa, Reena, and Jennie address how achievement pressure harms kids and what parents can do to combat grind culture. They unpack research from Harvard and the London School of Economics to answer key questions: What do the kids who are thriving in high pressure situations do differently? What can adults do to shield kids from toxic stress? How do parents put pressure on kids without even realizing it? Tune in to learn about the "puppy dog principle," why mattering is what really matters, and the one thing that parents can do that makes a difference. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com This episode was sponsored, in part, by the podcast In It: Raising Kids who Learn Differently Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sleep is essential for mental and physical health, but most teens don’t get nearly enough of it. Special Guest Lisa L. Lewis, journalist and author of "The Sleep-Deprived Teen: Why Our Teenagers Are So Tired, and How Parents and Schools Can Help Them Thrive," joins Dr. Lisa and Reena to answer listener questions about teens and sleep, tech use, summer bedtimes, school start times and more. Their conversation unpacks the results of the Stanford Sleep Study, and Reena finds out how Lisa L. Lewis helped change school start times in California. Tune in for expert advice and practical tips to ensure that our teens get the rest they need. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A mother writes in about the fact that her teen son and his friends - who come from a mix of racial, religious, and socio-economic backgrounds - "jokingly" use slurs. Does she have the power to stop this? Dr. Lisa and Reena explore what's driving the rise in hateful language and what adults can do to address this hurtful behavior. Reena asks whether it's realistic for adults to think they can change the dynamics that unfold when teens are with their friends. Dr. Lisa offers advice on how to guide teenagers toward acting with empathy and respect. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

With online betting now legal in most states, sports coverage is increasingly saturated with commentary focussed on betting and ads for gambling apps. Teens are noticing - and some of them are getting in on the action. It's increasingly easy and common for teens to bet on sports and, at times, to lose large sums of money. Dr. Lisa and Reena address how teens find ways to place bets, why they want to, and what parents and caregivers need to know if they have a teen who might be interested in sports betting. Dr. Lisa lays out the psychological science explaining why gambling can be addictive and offers guidance on how to talk with teens about the potential dangers of sports betting. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When kids hit thirteen they often become highly emotional. What happens in the brain and the body during this time? Dr. Lisa explains and also talks about the process of "separation-individuation" where young people seek to define their own identities - often by being hard on their folks. Parents sometimes assume that age thirteen is the beginning of adolescence. But is it really? And how can you help a tween or teen who's having an emotional meltdown? Dr. Lisa has good news: the intensity of early adolescence doesn’t last forever and there are effective things parents can do to manage bumpy moments with their teen. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s easy to track kids using cell phone technology. But is it a good idea to do so? Today's technology allows us to know a lot more about our kids than our parents ever knew about us. While parents might track their teens for supervision and safety reasons, teens often long for more independence and privacy than tracking allows. Dr. Lisa explains why this tension is an expectable, healthy part of adolescent development and unpacks two key questions: What, exactly, does tracking accomplish? And does it really help to keep teens safe? Reena asks about the downsides of tracking a teen’s location and Dr. Lisa lays out the tricky scenarios she's encountered in her practice. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Lisa and Reena explore the making of Disney-Pixar's "Inside Out 2" with special guest, Dr. Dacher Keltner, a UC Berkeley psychologist renowned for his research on emotions. The discussion begins with Lisa explaining her role in the film, highlighting how Riley, now 13, navigates the new emotions of adolescence. Dr. Keltner shares insights on selecting the original five emotions and introduces the sequel's new characters: Anxiety, Envy, Embarrassment, and Ennui. Dr. Lisa draws on her expertise in adolescent anxiety to discuss how the character of Anxiety is portrayed in the film. Dr. Keltner delves into the significance of awe and his research findings in this area. The episode concludes with an exploration of the emotional complexities of adolescence and the cultural impact of "Inside Out 2," offering important takeaways for both parents and teens. This is the Ask Lisa podcast movie of the summer - you'll want to share it with the whole family! Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How can families make the most of their summer? Dr. Lisa says it’s all about the S.U.N.: "S" for sleep, "U" for unplugging, and “N" for nature. Dr. Lisa and Reena explore why it's essential to find time during the summer months to rest, disconnect, and spend time outdoors. They offer practical tips for family digital detoxes. Their conversation unpacks the research on the psychological benefits of being around nature and how summer offers the perfect opportunity to embrace it all. Dr. Lisa also explains the importance of scheduling, planning, and maintaining routines to help carry these habits into the fall. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https://youtube.com/@asklisapodcast And follow us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan. Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: https://www.goodtroubleproductions.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices