Dr. Gary Bell's Absurd Psychology

Panic attacks are dramatically abrupt bursts of acute anxiety that feel life-threatening but are not. They build into a crescendo of fear within minutes, but what they lack in duration they make up in distress. The body sensations of anxiety become extremely intense—pounding heart, racing pulse, the feeling of difficulty getting enough air—making it feel as if you are about to die. That interpretation is mistaken, but it nevertheless triggers even more anxiety, intensifying the panic. •Panic attacks can occur out of the blue, even during sleep, and the feeling of loss of control magnifies the terror. Tune in and learn all about panic attacks and how to stop them!

There are advantages to being smart. People who do well on standardized tests of intelligence (IQ tests) tend to be more successful in the classroom and the workplace. Although the reasons are not fully understood, they also tend to live longer, healthier lives, and are less likely to experience negative life events such as bankruptcy. Now there’s some bad news for people in the right tail of the IQ bell curve. A “high IQ society,” Mensa requires that its members have an IQ in the top 2 percent. For most intelligence tests, this corresponds to an IQ of about 132 or higher. (The average IQ of the general population is 100.) The survey of Mensa’s highly intelligent members found that they were more likely to suffer from a range of serious disorders. Tune in and learn all about how high IQ can be compatable with mental illness!

Horrible people are draining; encounters leave you emotionally wiped out. Time with them is about taking care of their business, which will leave you feeling frustrated and unfulfilled, if not angry. Don’t allow yourself to become depleted as a result of giving and giving and getting nothing in return. At first, you may feel for them and their plight but once you observe that every interaction is negatively charged you may want to limit your contact with them, or maybe even cut ties. Your time and energy are essential for your own life. Don’t be overly willing to give them away. Tune in and learn how these people operate and how to set boundaries!

Broadly speaking, emotional detachment is the inability or unwillingness to connect with others on an emotional level. Emotional detachment can also mean that people do not engage with their feelings, which can translate into repeatedly being disconnected or disengaged from what other people are feeling. Tune in and learn how the trend of emotional detachment is effecting your life!

•We can consider the ego as the "I" or our sense of self, and so we all have an ego because we all have a sense of self. The ego is not inherently bad. We need a coherent sense of self to differentiate ourselves from others and have a sense of agency. This allows us to meet our basic physiological needs, develop goals, and pursue dreams. I know that I exist, who I am, and what is important to me. I know which family, team, and political party is mine. I know who are my friends, rivals, and enemies. I know which possessions are mine. I have values and rights that I cherish dearly and will fight to protect. Tune in and learn all about ego and manipulation!

With marriage having a fifty percent no‐go rate it’s obvious that people don’t follow their best thinking, just like people don’t eat healthfully even when they know what’s good for them. Paradoxically, it’s in our most enduring and important relationships that we’re least likely to be our most mature and thoughtful selves. Tune in and learn what it takes to be married!

What does the word commitment suggest? It usually evokes a strong sense of intention and focus. It typically is accompanied by a statement of purpose or a plan of action. Very often, we utilize this word in regard to proclamations we may make about the seriousness of our relationships. For example, “I’m in a committed relationship,” or “I’m completely committed to this relationship.” In such circumstances, what exactly are we saying? We take it for granted that the word or the expression means the same thing to all of us. I can assure you that it doesn’t. Tune in and learn how real commitments can change your life!

Altruism is the unselfish concern for other people—doing things simply out of a desire to help, not because you feel obligated to out of duty, loyalty, or religious reasons. It involves acting out of concern for the well-being of other people. In some cases, these acts of altruism lead people to jeopardize themselves to help others. Such behaviors are often performed unselfishly and without any expectations of reward. Other instances, known as reciprocal altruism, involve taking actions to help others with the expectation that they will offer help in return. Tune in and learn all about how altruism can add to your life!

Do you hyperfocus on the one thing that went wrong? The one little mistake you made or that one mean comment on social media? Instead of the hundreds of things going right? This is called mental filtering, and it’s a cognitive distortion that can make you anxious or depressed. Mental filtering is the cognitive distortion where we only see one aspect of a situation, usually the negative side of it when it comes to depression or anxiety. You focus on the negative and disregard or filter out all the positive. You pick out a single negative detail and hyperfocus on this instead of everything else going on. Tune in and learn all about how filtering and narratives can destroy our lives!

Seduction, an age-old dance of attraction, has long captivated the hearts and minds of those seeking to unravel its mysterious allure. It’s a complex interplay of biology, psychology, and social dynamics that has fascinated humans for centuries. From the subtle art of flirtation to the bold declaration of desire, seduction weaves its way through our daily lives, often without us even realizing it. Tune in and learn all about seduction!

•Most of us have had our hearts broken at some point and in some form or another, whether through the loss of a loved one or the ending of a romantic relationship. The emotional devastation that heartbreak leaves in its wake can be paralyzing, the pain all-encompassing, and the impact on our psychological and physical well-being crippling. In the most severe cases, a breakup can be a trigger for a clinical depressive episode. Tune in and learn all about healing heartbreak!

Too many people work just for the paycheck. And the paycheck is important – there are kids to feed, rent to pay, and new shoes to buy when the old ones finally wear out. Everything is expensive, and having an income is critical to survival. In many cases, the message is that work should not be fun – weekends, or time off for vacation or personal days, is when you should have your fun. Work is, well, it’s “work”. It shouldn’t be enjoyed; it’s just something to get through on your journey to somewhere else. Tune in and learn all about how to find passion and purpose in your life!

Social awareness and progressivism have become increasingly important for many people, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. Unfortunately, some choose to exploit this trend by pretending to be more socially conscious and “woke” than they actually are in a bid to attract partners. This is known as “wokefishing.” The bad news is that it can be frustrating and even harmful for those who are looking for a genuine connection. The good news is that it is often easy to see past the deception once you know what to look for. Tune in and learn all about WOKE and its impact on our lives!

One of the worst psychological pieces of advice on the internet is that which describes resentment as a healthy emotion. Contrary evidence in psychology and medicine notwithstanding, some authors argue that resentment is nevertheless healthy because it “tells you something is wrong.” So does disease, emotional disorder, and addiction. There are healthy ways to know that something is wrong and there are unhealthy ways. Resentment is not a discreet emotion; it’s an impotent form of anger. Where overt anger motivates aggressive action, the aggression of resentment is mostly in your head, enacted, if at all, predominantly with passive-aggressive behavior, criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, contempt, or sabotage. Resentment keeps the pump primed for overt aggression, but is not in itself aggressive.

The desire to avoid conflict in a relationship is common, but for very different reasons. First, involvement with a partner who is unable to perspective-take makes it nearly impossible to work out difficulties constructively. Simple disagreements often escalate into epic battles. Understandably, a person may wish to avoid these nightmare fights by side-stepping the power struggles. Second, a partner who is egocentric may wish to dodge a person’s disapproval; he or she hides selfish acts and avoids conversations focused on issues in the relationship. When exposed, he or she may claim, "I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to stress you out.” The partner is conflict-avoidant because he or she wishes to escape disapproval or opposition. This type of evasion may be destructive. Tune in and learn all about conflict avoidance!

While cultural tropes suggest that adult children estrange in a fit of pique, that doesn’t actually appear to be the case for the preponderance of adults estranged from parents and, most usually, their extended families as well; the decision is usually decades in the making. It is clear that it’s rare to be estranged from just one person since relatives are either co-opted to take sides or choose sides on their own, so the loss of ties can be enormous and staggering. Numerous studies point to the fact that estrangement is often cyclical in nature, with adult children going through periods of estrangement and reconciliation for extended periods of time. Tune in and learn all about the causes and how to work through adult children abandoning their parents!

Hybristophilia is a term that has emerged to describe a peculiar and often misunderstood psychological phenomenon: sexual or romantic attraction to dangerous people or people with a criminal history. This type of attraction arouses deep interest in individuals who have committed illicit or violent acts, raising questions about the motivations behind this preference and its possible psychological implications. The term "hybristophilia" comes from the Greek word "hubris", which refers to extreme arrogance or excessiveness, and "philia", which It means love or attraction. Therefore, hybristophilia is defined as the attraction for individuals who have shown defiant, rebellious or transgressive behavior in society. Tune in and learn all about hybristophilia!

Outgroup homogeneity is the tendency to view members of a group that one does not belong to (the outgroup) as more similar to each other than members of a group that one does belong to (the ingroup). Outgroup homogeneity can lead to stereotypes, prejudice, and discrimination. It can occur for a number of reasons, including limited contact with members of the outgroup. Tune in and learn all about how Outgroup Homogeneity has run our lives!

Regret can be an incredibly painful emotion. While rooted in feelings of contrition, disappointment, guilt, or remorse for things that have happened in the past, such feelings can have a powerful influence over your life in the here and now. The problem is that when you are feeling regret over past choices or past mistakes, you might sometimes miss out on the joys of the present moment. Tune in and learn how to recognize and turn away regret in your life!

Living in a foreign country and adjusting to a new culture can be a very rewarding experience. But, it can also be a difficult one if you do not understand the values and assumptions of the society. Values are ideas about what is right and wrong, desirable and undesirable, normal and abnormal, proper and improper. Assumptions, as the term is used here, are the unquestioned standards about people, life, and the way things are. People who grow up in a particular culture share certain values and assumptions. This means that most of them, most of the time, agree with each others' ideas about what is right and wrong, desirable and undesirable. They also agree, mostly, with each other's assumptions about human nature, social relationships. The values and assumptions of a culture shape the way people act. To help you adjust, we have compiled a brief explanation of why U.S. Americans behave the way they do. Tune in and learn all about the make up of what American's value!