Good Grief

When a child grows up with a single mentally ill mother, chaos seems normal. How did Sarah LaBrie find her way to a life not defined by fear and confusion? In part, it was through writing, whether or not she knew she was trying to heal on the page. And in part it was through love. Her memoir, No One Gets to Fall Apart, follows her as she finds her way, with inevitable gains and losses. In beautiful prose she captures her childhood and her mother's schizophrenia, and all the steps it took to create a life for herself. Guest Sarah LaBrie is the author of No One Gets to Fall Apart, a 2024 New York Times Notable Book and Editors’ Pick and a best memoir of the year according to NPR, Elle and Esquire. Born in the Bay Area and raised in Third Ward in Houston, Texas, she lives in Los Angeles where she works as a TV writer. She was most recently a producer on the HBO and Starz television show, Minx. She also wrote on Blindspotting (Starz), Made for Love (MAX), and Love, Victor (Hulu/Disney). Her work appears in The Guardian, Guernica, Lit Hub, Electric Literature and the Los Angeles Review of Books and her libretti have been performed at Walt Disney Concert Hall and the Apollo Theater. She’s held residencies at Yaddo, UCross and the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts. She holds an MFA from NYU where she was a Writers in the Schools Fellow.

Our guest this week, Kim Cantin, is a powerful symbol of resilience, having survived the devastating Montecito mudslides of 2018 that claimed 23 lives, including her husband and son, and left her daughter buried alive. Through unimaginable loss, Kim has fought to rebuild her life, driven by a fierce commitment to hope. Her five-time award-winning memoir, Where Yellow Flowers Bloom: A True Story of Hope through Unimaginable Loss, chronicles her incredible journey of healing, miraculous moments, and the unbreakable power of love. In a world increasingly marked by natural disasters, Kim’s story shines as a beacon of hope, inspiring those grappling with their own hardships. She has shared her message of strength on Ellen, in Rob Lowe’s documentary Madness in the Hills, and in Reebok founder Joe Foster’s book, How to Survive and Thrive. With a voice that resonates, she has captivated large audiences and podcast listeners alike, offering support to those in their darkest hours. Before this, she thrived as an executive in the medical device industry. Now, Kim lives in Southern California with her daughter and their two beloved dogs, embodying the spirit of perseverance and love. For more information please visit: kimcantin.com Contact Kim for Speaking Engagements at kim@kimcantin.com

Guest bio: Larry Carlat is a grief coach and group leader for bereaved parents at Our House Grief Support Center in Los Angeles. He has written for The New York Times Magazine, Esquire, GQ, Rolling Stone, Men’s Journal, Men’s Health, Psychology Today andAARP. His new book, A Space in the Heart: A Survival Guide for Grieving Parents, was published by Rowman & Littlefield.

The Last Love Note tells the fictional story of a young widow trying to find a way to move forward. Its heroine, Kate, has continued to parent, work, and keep her sense of humor but has had very little time to give her grief the space it needs. How many others in these modern times are in the same situation? The author, Emma Grey, knows first hand what happens when loss drops into your life and nothing else stops. Join us as we explore what led her to write the book and how the writing helped her with her own mourning.

Bridey Thelen-Heidel had a chaotic and traumatic childhood with a mother who brought dangerous men into the house and failed to protect the little girl called Bright Eyes. But Bridey was determined to face her traumas and find her way to a beautiful life. In her memoir she describes the road she took to find her way out of the chaos her mother had created. In the process, we can be inspired to imagine that each of us has that potential. Join us for our conversation about what it takes to heal.

Darnell Lamont Walker makes it his life's mission to seed joy everywhere he is. How do his callings intersect? He is a children's television writer, a death doula, a filmmaker. In every case he hopes to inform, encourage and uplift his audience. In the end, all he does is about supporting everyone he encounters to heal, to make room for joy and to love ourselves. Join us as we talk about how he sees his mission and all the things he does to further it!

A week before their wedding, Kate Truitt's fiancee died unexpectedly. In deep grief and trauma she saw no way forward and, even as an informed investigator of the way trauma affects us, she could only live the reality. It was a very long time before she could see the potential for growth and flourishing. In telling her story she invites us along on her path of discovery; her road back to herself. We also share her evolution into the person we see now; someone who supports others going through the same thing she did.

In a three part series for the non-profit When You Die, Johanna Lunn has explored questions of dying and death. She shared her first film on Good Grief, and now we welcome her back to talk about her third, Architecture of Death: The Inner World of Dying. What has she learned in her years immersed in death informed conversations? How does that affect her own life? What allows her subjects to trust her with this most intimate of subjects? What has death taught her? Join us for the conversaiton.

How does a traumatic history affect a family? Even though Brooke Randel's grandmother never talked about living through the Holocaust, it was a part of the fabric of the family tapestry. And then one day, it came out of the shadows when her grandmother asked Brooke to tell her story. The resulting book, Also Here, tells the story and also what made it so challenging to tell. What came out of the shadows? With science catching up to the reality of intergenerational trauma, how does Brooke believe the silent story wove through their lives? And what happened when it came chrystal clear?

Already a grief counselor when both of her parents died within a few years, Meghan Riordan Jarvis was undone by the full weight of her own grief. Her immense sadness resulted in a hospitalization and a long road to find her way. As she has shared twice on previous episodes of Good Grief, ultimately she dove head first into her attempt to understand what had happened to her. And being science inclined she gathered a library of information about the science of grief; how it manifests in the body, what helps, what doesn't. Following up on her memoir, The End of the Hour, her new book, Can Anyone Tell Me, answers the questions that seem so perplexing to grievers and those who love them, Join us to talk about the science of grief and how to navigate it, without trying to make order of it!

Nothing prepares a mother for hearing that their child is transgender. Along with protectiveness and confusion comes the stunning fact that the picture you had of your child must die and a new one take its place. Paria Hassouri faced this process when her child let her know she was a girl at 14. How did she not know? How would she protect her? How would they navigate the change; in their family, and in the world? Answering these questions would change all of them and deepen their love in ways they couldn't have predicted. This week, we'll talk with Paria about what she found during her child's transition.

Nichole Lee had a successful career as a business consultant, traveling the world and supporting change makers on a global level. When her mother died she continued to work just as hard, despite her grief and the global COVID pandemic isolating her in her home. Then one day she heard a whisper, in her mother's voice, telling her to quit her job! In an act of courage and wisdom, she listened, leading her to a life's calling she had never imagined. Join us to hear how she traveled the road to the life she lives today.

When Molly Peacock's husband died, poetry supported her grief. Already a published poet with several books, she captured her experience of grief, navigating the twists and turns through creative expression. Some grievers rely on the skills they already have and some must learn new ways of being. But even for those of us who continue to do what we did before, the way we do those things is often profoundly changed. What changed in Molly Peacock when she faced deep loss? Join us to talk about her poetry, grief, and how we go forward without the one we love the most.

How does loss become poetry? Bill Ratner's losses lived in the depths of his soul and over time, found expression. Creativity can help us to move grief through us, transforming the shape of it. What was that process for Bill? What moved him to put words to his losses? Every griever wants to be heard, but capturing grief in language is challenging. Join us to learn how Bill was able to embody his experience through his writing.

Corinne Masur's father died suddenly when she was just fourteen. When grief came into a family that had no idea how to talk about it, they mostly didn't. Corinne went on to become a psychologist, writing what she came to call a MEsearch thesis on children's grief. Turning that early, confounding loss into a life's calling, she supports families struggling with the same difficult questions her family faced. Author of two outstanding books on children's grief, Corinne joins us to share her wisdom on how to support children in loss of all kinds.

If you grow up, as Julie Fingersh did, convinced you shouldn't share the family secrets, that all that messy stuff is private, how do you cope when those secrets begin to undermine your life? How do you come to terms with being unable to contain them any more? In facing up to the truth of the challenges faced by her family; mental health and chronic illnesses, loss and difficulty, Julie found that finally sharing those secrets gave her a way forward. Her memoir, Stay: A Story of Family, Love and Other Traumas, pulls back the curtain on her family secrets, kept locked away for so long. Join us as we talk about what finally led her to open up and share her story. And what did that lead to?

Charles Bock's wife always wanted to be a mother and, just a bit reluctantly, he agreed to have a child. But within a few years his wife died of cancer and he was now tasked with navigating parenting a very small child on his own. Ultimately determined to do the best he could, and to continue to do better, pushed him forward one tiny step at a time. Looking back on that time, what made his path nearly impossible to walk? What helped? And what did he learn about himself, that small child, and life?

After helping to get the Medical Aid in Dying Act passed in California and then supporting its implementation, Stefanie Elkin's passion for working in end of life only grew. When she left her job at Compassion and Choices she opened her own company, Be Present Care, to support end of life, especially for elders, and to open up conversations about how to navigate dying. She then began traveling far and wide to host Death Over Drafts gatherings, pairing her love of draft beer with her love of talking about death. Her passion moved forward to a life calling!

Ginelle Testa's early life with a drug dealer father and an angry mother led to just the kinds of struggles you might predict. She began the relationship with drugs and alcohol that would lead to several bottoms. She experienced anorexia and sexual assault. She looked to other people to validate her worth. Getting clean and sober was just the beginning of a long search for herself that led, over time, to true healing. Join us as we talk about what helped her to find herself amid her struggles and how she came to believe her story needed to be shared!

After losses that took her to her knees, Siobhan Asgharzadeh searched for ways to move with her grief, recognizing that loss would not end, that life comes with grief. Over time she sought to support others along the profound road of grief, becoming a death, birth and grief doula and using ancient wisdom practices to help create a more grief-informed future. In her workshops, pilgrimages and supports of grievers she has found a way that also addresses the deep losses on the planet, hoping to cultivate a renewed stewardship for our precious earth. Join us for a conversation about the grief, the work, and how we can sit with all the heartache inherent in these times.