Giles Coren Has No Idea

A piece of ground breaking research suggests women are tending to marry men less educated than themselves. Twas ever thus… Esther and Giles are on trend, they have a ‘marriage of unequals’ with Esther technically more educated than Giles. A new AI concept offers the chance to talk with fictional characters in books. Might Giles one day be able to chat with Hamlet…the app may prefer he stick to Lucy the turtle for now. Does Badger from Wind in the Willows have a dark secret? In recent weeks Jeff Bezos and David Beckham have each thrown very glamourous parties. But are such parties any good? Do the people attending actually have any fun? Finally, American singer Chappel Roan has lifted the lid on parents – they aren’t very happy. Of course not, they have children! Oh, and President Trump’s ‘liberation day’ tariffs are bound to fail, just don’t ask Esther why. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Esther can’t bring herself to watch the much vaunted Netflix show ‘Adolescence’. Giles watched it and was deeply moved by it. They discuss just how hard parenting is and the complicated relationship between young people, their phones and social media. With a child able to have the world in the palm of their hand, what role does a parent have? Last week was a tribute to Group Captain Hemingway, this week the next generation of heroes have fallen foul of a judge over a stolen Paddington Bear statue, Giles pleads their case. Finally, I wish it could be Christmas everyday…because nothing bad happens then and it would work wonders for church numbers. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How well do Giles and Esther know each other? Cue a game of Mr and Mrs. What A levels did they take, what were their childhood pets called…or let’s start simple: “What is your wife’s name?” It isn’t Farah Fawcett. Continuing the game theme Giles plays “what’s in the inflation basket this year? If tinned fish isn’t in there, it should be. If Esther can answer correctly, will she win a speed boat? Jeremy Clarkson is back with a Grand Tour spin off…except actually he isn’t, he only appears in archive footage. Is it about time to put the whole thing out of its misery… Finally, a respectful salute to Group Captain John ‘Paddy’ Hemingway, who died this week. He was the last known Battle of Britain pilot. Talk of him and his life stirs up emotional memories for both Giles and Esther leading to a teary end to the show. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"What's that Lassie? You think you might have ADHD?" Can Giles talk to the animals? Probably not, in fact research suggest none of us can. But does he have ADHD? Esther thinks he might. The prevalence of mental illness is on the rise, could TikTok be to blame? If you ask boomers, it's a case of "pull yourself together" but for Gen Z its "talking about your feelings is good". Giles and Esther take the middle ground and attempt to reconcile the two. Could a whole life’s worth be in a desk? A recent employment tribunal has ruled it might, Giles can understand the reasoning. Finally, they wonder if it is time to compensate their neighbours… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What better way to spend pancake day than curling up to watch “With Love, Meghan” But what was it exactly, comedy, horror, a sad documentary? Despite wanting to like it Esther just couldn’t. Dinner and candles for imaginary guests, cooking in a cashmere jumper, dragon handlers and all in someone else’s house. Was it a case of advice not given or advice not taken? Another day, another step closer to Armageddon as President Trump continues his unique brand of negotiation - worryingly for Giles it is a tactic he uses himself. Debrett’s is yet to release a guide to ‘how to host President Trump’ but they do offer the very latest in how to eat Al Desko… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Parenting, President Trump and UK net zero - is it time for a reality check? Have the middle classes ruined parenting in the UK? Uber head Katharine Birbalsingh has spoken out on parenting methods, and it’s given Giles an idea for a book – “Parenting tips for the working class.” Do the travails of modern parenting have anything in common with the redrawing of post war alliances and UK net zero targets? Could it be that across the board things are a little too comfortable and it is time for shake up? Esther turns to the history books for the answer and espouses the benefits of upheaval and existential threat…purely from an objective standpoint. Anything is better than talking about toilets! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Does a 10k goosestep count as a workout? How many Sieg Heils build the perfect bicep? When faced with a Neo Nazi fitness class what can one do except laugh...? As half term approaches everyone in the world is going skiing, everyone except the Corens. Giles and Esther reiterate their disdain for ski holidays. Instead, they’ll be having a 1970’s style break; they’ll work while the kids stay at home and watch the latest season of White Lotus. The new Michelin guide is out but are the numerous new restaurants up to scratch? Perhaps more interesting is the challenge of a vegan restaurant making it onto the list. Lastly, why are people over fifty happier post pandemic…could it be because death is a little closer? Now, which way is Poland? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week Giles revealed that he had been diagnosed with cancer. In this week’s episode he relives the moment he found out and the responses of those around him, and his own. Is it a big deal “it’s only a dash of cancer after all?” Or are he and Esther in denial? They consider the language around cancer and wonder why Bob hasn’t been in touch…? For some light-hearted distraction a one hundred and thirty four page document on how to speak to passengers, ye gods! How to enunciate HampSTEAD and ringing endorsements - “Buy this book it was written by a human.” Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Giles has modified his coffee intake and is ready to tackle the pressing issues of the week. First up, say it loud say it proud – Jew! Easier said than done for some…but why is that? Could “People of Nose” be a better option? The touchy-feely millennial generation may actually be the hardest of the lot; they’re embracing the potential return of the death penalty. After being overheard making sexual comments Wynn Evans left the strictly live tour to “priorities my wellbeing.” Esther has little sympathy, but Giles wonders about the BBC’s casting policy – “We’d like a blokey bloke please…oh god not one like that!” Finally, what is the secret to a good face lift? Don’t have one is Esther’s tip but is it too late for Gwyneth Paltrow and other multi-millionaires..? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lots of laughs in this week’s episode. As Harrow school adopts a therapy puppy, will there be a similar puppy on a bursary…? Either way don’t expect the canines to bring much happiness. The good literary agency is closing. Were they victims of the culture war or the marketplace? Giles thinks he knows the answer. A conversation about clever footballers brings up stereotypes but gone are the days when it is acceptable to mock the working classes, Brian. Giles has a brilliant business idea; three products, one audience and a lot of exclamation marks! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After a busy but very enjoyable Christmas Giles and Esther return to ponder some of the talking points of the week. What is a work life balance and how does one get one? How do you wire a plug – why not ask one of Giles many deceased relatives. Is post war rationing the root cause of child obesity? Finally, how to play Fagin without bowing to stereotype and… stop climbing Everest! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As described in the title - a fun festive quiz. We hope you enjoy it. If you do, please share. Merry Christmas, see you in the New Year. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

No new episode this week due to unforeseen circumstances. We'll be back next week with a Christmas Special. See you then. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Where now for Gregg Wallace and the BBC? Esther is focused on the BBC’s HR department – what were they doing? Giles ponders the consequences of a decision made twenty years ago. And if this is the new bar for public opprobrium - who might be next? Board games at Christmas, marvellous. All the family sat round the fire, rolling the dice…until one falls asleep, one cheats, and one gets so competitive they flip the board and it all ends in tears. Excellent, let’s do it again next year. The governments new junk food advertising ban has caused quite a stir but what is it exactly? Have they really banned porridge, have they actually banned anything? Time for some clarity, insight and war time meal planning. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Giles thought he was going to be cancelled due to his last two rather edgy pieces. One was about an Israeli restaurant and the other took a big bite out of the super-woke Jaguar re-brand. But, the total opposite happened and everyone loved them. It’s all in danger of going to Giles’s head and he toys with leaning in and becoming the UK’s answer to Joe Rogan. If the culture war is truly over, what happens next? And where does it leave a country that has just elected a government that is now totally out of fashion? Meanwhile, British Airways spends millions on doing up their First Class cabins rather than "...fixing their p***poor app." Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After a very quick diversion round rats learning to drive this week’s episode begins with a debate over farmers and inheritance tax – a tax dodge for the affluent or a hit to hard working farmers? Giles leans on his knowledge of the French Revolution and his own experience of tax ‘manoeuvring’. Zoe Ball is stepping down from the Radio 2 breakfast show. Is it really to spend more time with her family or is there more to it than meets the eye? Could the North Koreans be involved...? A possible tip for Apple Inc – admit you were wrong then make more money. And lastly, by eck! What a repertoire of accents. Sadly, not all are allowed past the censor. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As the Archbishop of Canterbury resigns Giles asks the key question - does anyone care? Following Donald Trump’s election victory there is a rumour doing the rounds that some rich celebrities plan to leave the US for Britain. Do we want them, does anywhere want them? Might they be in for a surprise with the reality of modern London not quite matching the dream… How does one deal with a moth infestation? Top tip: cedar wood, moth balls or sue the house seller for 30million pounds! Finally, what do you get if you cross a Slovenian girl done good, chat GPT and a White House? A FLOTUS memoir – simples! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What do Kamala Harris and QPR have in common? Giles and Esther react to the breaking news that Donald Trump is back as the American President. They ponder the reasons and how to break the news to a despondent teenager. Any mood can be lifted by a good cheese trolly, some people can even build a career off the back of a cheese trolly. Can being married also keep one chipper? Depends on who you’re married to! Finally, if you own an air fryer it might be spying on you – it’s your own fault. And what is a double dip..? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is Kemi Badenoch rude, or just straight talking? Esther has changed her ways and now plays a very polite tactical game; Giles on the other hand takes too much pleasure in expressing his true feelings in glorious technicolour. Who cares if its rude. It’s all change at British Airways as they switch from lunch to brunch on many flights; Esther isn’t sure what all the fuss is about… How do you get a nickname and what does it say about you if you don’t have one? Pee-the-pants and Pester discuss. After the break the decline of the golden arches. As McDonalds’ sales dip Giles considers where the burger giant is going wrong. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Tomorrow is the big day! Budget Day looms, and we're bringing you a special feature from The Times' brand new show: Feel Better About Money. In her inaugural money chat, Holly Mead is talking about budgeting and the budget. She looks at the many different aspects of money to help you make better financial decisions about pensions, mortgages, investments. With so many suggestions, rumours and supposed leaks about the upcoming budget, what should we be preparing for now and how? Find the new show here: https://shows.acast.com/times-money. Regular Giles programming to resume later in the week. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.