Kagro in the Morning

David Waldman did not present KITM “live” this morning. He presented a special “live-like” pre-recorded KITM, but he presented it in 2016, the last Christmas on which we faced the unknown of a looming Trump term in office. And as we asked then, hey—what better way to address the unreality of the media world that created the character moving into the White House? The Apprentice seemed to be “reality” simply because it was labeled as “reality TV”, and originally the show, and the character of “Donald Trump”, were designed as comedy. Once audiences started believing the “reality” of “The Apprentice”, and “Donald Trump”, it wasn’t so funny anymore. David looks at how the reality was manipulated on The Apprentice, and how it is really not funny anymore. Now, the government is casting regulars just like a TV show. That doesn’t mean that the Trump team is neglecting their twin goals of destroying government and enriching themselves. White House counsel pick Donald F. McGahn will defend the swamp by promoting agency dysfunction through gridlock and delay. At the DOJ, civil rights lawyers prepare themselves to take on the Least Racist Person in America. You might have heard it first in those Jade Helm 15 emails from your uncle, but discover it second here: A Clinton-era directive for natural disaster relief is enabling militarized police to come down on you, hard. The War on Christmas has been won, except for the continuing battles on the War on Jews. A white supremacist website calls for reinforcements in Montana.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin help us face the challenges of our rapidly changing world through the power of cheery repartee. Following his election win by 98 points or so, has D embarked upon a retribution tour or an authoritarian spree? Well, it turns out that retribution is only one of the many perks of authoritarianism. Trump is now suing retired pollster Ann Selzer because she got on his bad side, but also because it’s fun. Liz Cheney actually made him really mad, so she is in for far more than a little civil suit. As always, we can be thankful for Republican incompetence and rats-in-a-cage instincts. Congress has struck a deal to avert government shutdown, while Trump allies are busy trying to doge the deal. If they want a circular firing squad, the least Dems could do is offer to help pass the ammunition. (Follow Matt Glassman on Blue Sky.) Victoria Spartz, Queen of Chaos, hopes to be the Joe Manchin this time even as John Fetterman gives her a run for the title. Good news: France has passed its stopgap budget bill! Now they can pay the guy who lifts the flag in Syria. (Follow Charles Lister on Threads.) German Chancellor Olaf Scholz has lost a vote of confidence in the German parliament. Not so good news for Olaf, but also pretty bad for Germany and the rest of the free world. Finger pointers in Germany run the risk of running out of fingers. If members of the traffic light coalition can get along, maybe we all can. You’d think that hunters firing up into the sky would be aiming at drones but no, they were hunting flying bears. It didn’t turn out well for any of the participants.

David Waldman knows what tomorrow’s pre-recorded KITM is about but isn’t telling. He trusts Greg Dworkin to keep mum, but didn’t tell me because everyone knows I’d just blab it all to you… like this: Luigi Mangione was not selected as Time “Person of the Year”. Luigi might not get another chance as why have another “Person of the Year” after this one? Why have another “year” after this one? Dictator cosplay is just like real as long as enough people believe. In fact, that is how all dictatorships work. (Follow Ben Wikler on Threads.) Trump appointed Governor-Senator Kari Lake as director of Voice of America. Well, he can’t do that, but he did. Not enough people clapped to keep South Korean President Yoon Suk Yeol aloft. Opposition parties will just keep impeaching him until it sticks. Yoon caught social media brain rot, a disease plaguing the entire world. Still-President Joe Biden commuted 1,500 sentences and issued 39 pardons yesterday. KITM staff aren’t included, but still hopeful. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is poised to become the top Democrat on the House Oversight Committee. Ideology might not drive money, but it is best if it doesn’t turn it down. The North Carolina Gop traded hurricane relief for Democratic power… and MTG thought Dems created hurricanes! In Washington, Gops want two reconciliation bills, prosperity for things they like, austerity for things they don’t. Bulletin: Nighttime invaders have been sighted in the skies over Grovers Mill, New Jersey. Reports indicate that Homeland Security has become involved as a State Senator calls for a state of emergency. More reporting as this story develops. The majority of Brexit voters are getting tired of the “Brexit” part of that Brexit thing that they voted for. "Catherine’s Learning Barn” is in remembrance of Sandy Hook school victims, and a celebration of their ideals.

Ah, the dawn of a bright new beautiful Monday! Well, somewhere, I guess. How about we take David Waldman and Greg Dworkin and check out some other countries for a while, for a breather? Ordinarily, we would not be looking to the Middle East for inspiration, but suddenly Syria is standing for freedom. You’d hardly know about it from the American mainstream media… you’d hardly know anything from them… but there’s plenty of other sources to discover at Blue Sky, Threads, and you know… others. At exTwitter, there’s Tammam Aloudat’s positive assessment. There’s Alex Simon’s appraisal of the Syrian prison “system”. Threads has Charles Lister with the international repercussions emanating from Syria’s takeover by rebel forces. Blue Sky has more than just savvy individuals as well, it has an excellent news search. Then there’s Romania. Romania, Romania, rhymes with Albania, which makes it easy to remember their tasty food, bawdy cooks, NOT chrome, and now election integrity, following a presidential vote recount after discovering Russian interference. Ok, that’s the good news. Here are the takeaways from D’s Meet the Press interview, which unfortunately did not conclude with him being taken away. The kakistocracy has already filled the bowl up to the seat but isn’t close to stopping. The world’s most powerful traffic court lawyer, Alina Habba raises the number of blond leggy presidential advisors to “Austin Powers” levels. Journalist David Corn moves up a dozen slots on the administration shitlist with his history of Kash Patel, future director of the US Staatssicherheit.

Ok, so what matters again? David Waldman helps us ponder that today. In a couple of weeks, the government runs out of funding, which is the goal of course, but all too early in the midst of the Christmas shopping and inauguration bribing season. Then comes tariff season, which slides right into trade war season, which soon becomes real war season, and before you know it, we won’t need to go to austerity, austerity will have come for us. That is, it’ll come for anyone Kash Patel hasn’t already come for. Or any of the rest of the posse heading to the roundup. Trump lamprey Dinesh D’Souza has moved on from 2,000 Mules, to become the administration Riefenstahl, or perhaps scribe for Patel’s Littlefinger. It is impossible to be too corrupt for the upcoming administration, but Pete Hegseth keeps trying to make it happen. Pete, a notorious womanizer because of all his rapenizing, is also a crusader for Crusading, and any other war crimes not covered by religion. Joe Biden did not pardon his son, Hunter. But he would have even if Kash Patel wasn’t nominated, or Kamala would have... or even Trump, because who doesn’t love Hunter? Chinese Crypto Magician Justin Sun ate a banana in front of reporters while $18 million magically appeared in Trump’s pocket. So that’s it for the rule of law… following shame into the abyss. “The most corrupt cop in history” apparently didn’t get the memo. All we have left is procedure, and who knows how long that will last.

David Waldman brings us a Door-Busting Black Friday KITM! The D 2.0 post-truth post-satire post-irony administration has scored its first historically tremendous victory by imposing massive tariffs upon Mexico, who then unilaterally surrendered, finally closing their open border and ceasing all of their fentanyl shipments. You can believe or not believe that, or even present facts or logic to contradict it... Go ahead. If there is any “reality” left anymore, political reality could even stymie it for a while. Or... maybe the point of our new government isn’t to get anything done, but to villainize and foment hatred against all government, using the government mechanisms of public meetings and hearings to put names and faces to their enemies to keep the mad money flowing. Their enemy list will grow longer of course, but that leaves more power and money for the ones who remain. Happy holidays!

Happy Thanksgiving! We were live on the air for the holiday today, although by “we” I mean me, and by “on the air,” I mean streaming over the Internet. Also, by “live,” I mean except for the pre-recorded segment on Christian nationalists hiding behind their long-standing school privatization scheme, submitted by Michigan correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor. Trump’s threatened tariffs were put to their first test yesterday: the test of whether or not they’re fake, that is. Evidence strongly (very strongly strongly) suggests they are. “We” also take the opportunity to remind you that for some strange reason, Sen. Cynthia Lummis (R-WY) is considered Congress’ “crypto queen.” More importantly, we’re meant to understand that this is the root of the next round of crypto corruption. Speaking of the next round of corruption, you already know that Every Republican Accusation is a Confession.™ So here’s another confession: Don Jr. is now doing all the things they said Hunter Biden was doing with Burisma. You also already know that Trump’s flouting the norms on background checks. On top of that, he’s befouling the transition process by refusing to sign the routine ethics pledge, which he actually did sign last time (though to no avail). Is there anything to do about any of it? Well, there’s one suggestion: Biden can initiate background checks for them. Sort of as a favor, you know? That way, he can focus on the mandate he doesn’t have, for the agenda he denied having. Gaetz has been gotz. But Pete Hegseth is still skulking around. Reports are that there are Republicans who are genuinely unhappy about that, too. (And with good reason!) Still, there are some bizarre interpersonal nuances in Congress and party politics which mean the reaction to Hegseth and other abominable Cabi-nut picks could go either way. Rudy Giuliani’s best, last hope is that he thinks things could co either way for him, too. But it’s starting to look like there’s only way way to go: down. As in… the drain. Or toilet.