Relationship Advice

On this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren sit down with the long-running Relationship Advice podcast host Chase Kosterlitz as he reflects on ten years of hosting, sharing key lessons/insights about relationships and emphasizing the importance of friendships and somatic practices for personal growth and relational well-being. In this episode we discuss topics that include: Chase's Reflections on Hosting Attachment Styles Effective Communication Balance in Relationships Friendships and Support Networks Therapeutic and Somatic Practices Sponsored Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode introduces the foundations of a healthy relationship through four key pillars. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren use relatable examples, such as navigating differing preferences in dance lessons or understanding the dynamic between pursuers and withdrawers, to illustrate these concepts. They emphasize the importance of shared language, emotional safety, and empathy in building deeper connections. Rather than prescribing rigid rules, the episode advocates for learning and practicing relational skills through therapy and real-life experiences. In this episode we discuss relationship advice topics that include: Emotional Regulation / Window of Tolerance Recognizing/Breaking Negative Cycles Vulnerability Emotional Connection Roles of Boundaries Building Skills Through Practice Sponsored Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode we sit down with licensed therapists and our incoming Relationship Advice hosts Colter, Cayla, and Lauren to talk about the "protective moves," or behaviors people exhibit during conflict to shield themselves emotionally or regain a sense of control in relationships. These 3 are experienced therapists specializing in attachment, trauma, and anxiety, explore how these moves—like defensiveness, criticism, passive aggressiveness, avoidance, or over explaining—are common yet often disconnecting strategies. Key Points Include: Understanding Protective Moves Examples and Intentions Origins and Patterns Moving Through Conflict Building Resources The hosts emphasized that while protective moves are natural, fostering awareness and understanding can transform them from barriers to bridges in relationships. They closed by advocating for patience, self-compassion, and communication to navigate these dynamics effectively. Sponsors: Quince, this holiday season, give the gift of luxury without the luxury price tag with Quince. Enjoy free shipping on your order and hassle-free 365-day returns at QUINCE.COM/IDO. Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is a real treat as I have a wide ranging conversation with Diego Perez, aka, Yung Pueblo. Listen to today's show for valuable insights and tools to improve your life and relationships today. In this episode with Diego Perez we discuss relationship advice topics that include: What to do if you feel your partner is not self aware The importance of being loosely attached to your views while in conversation Why the ego loves sameness Diego's writing process and where he draws inspiration from How to create more depth in your relationship Tools for nervous system regulation And much more! Sponsored BetterHelp is an online therapy platform that will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. Start living a happier life today and get 10% off your first month by visiting BetterHelp.com/IDO. Osea is your one stop shop for everything related to great quality skincare. From December 12th to the 18th get Free 2-Day Shipping on orders $150+ and an additional 10% off when using the code "IDO10"! #OSEAPartner Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The pursuit of happiness is one of the most talked about topics in the self-help world and life in general. What does it mean to be happy? Perhaps the pursuit of happiness is actually just a myth and what we really want to be looking for is joy and contentment. Listen to today's show for important questions to ask yourself and tools to discover what real happiness means. In this episode with Shawn Léon Nowotnik we discuss relationship advice topics that include: The importance of creating meaning in your life and relationships The commercialization of happiness and how it can lead you down the wrong path Tools to discover your most authentic self and live authentically Challenging the idea that you have to be perfect What to do when you feel like you have everything and still are not happy And much more! Sponsored Quince, this holiday season, give the gift of luxury without the luxury price tag with Quince. Enjoy free shipping on your order and hassle-free 365-day returns at QUINCE.COM/IDO. Osea is your one stop shop for everything related to great quality skincare. From December 12th to the 18th get Free 2-Day Shipping on orders $150+ and an additional 10% off when using the code "IDO10"! #OSEAPartner Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Navigating a relationship where you or your partner suffers from chronic pain can be very challenging. Listen to today's show to learn more about healing your chronic pain and how to support your partner on their journey while maintaining a healthy relationship. In this episode with Bonnie Lester we discuss relationship advice topics that include: The biological, social and physical impacts of pain Using neuroplasticity tools and exercises for chronic pain reduction The importance of developing a language around pain Keys to healing and improving chronic pain How to support a partner with chronic pain Navigating the economic challenges of chronic pain And much more! Sponsored Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most people have experienced anxiety at some point in their lives. For some, anxiety can be frequent and debilitating. No matter the levels of anxiety you experience, we could all benefit from calmer, more peaceful states of being. Listen to today's show to learn how to heal your anxiety and thrive in your life and relationships. In this episode with Dr. Nicole Cain we discuss relationship advice topics that include: Understanding the different features of anxiety to help heal them Four actionable steps to move through anxiety with proven effectiveness Why it's important to get out of your logical brain to heal anxiety Reclaiming your agency to help cope with anxiety Bridging the gap between the mind and the body to heal your anxiety Breathwork exercises to help with anxiety How to reprogram yourself to break the cycle of anxiety And much more! Sponsored BetterHelp is an online therapy platform that will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. Start living a happier life today and get 10% off your first month by visiting BetterHelp.com/IDO. Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's wide ranging conversation, Dr. Jenn and Chase discuss why you might want to rethink who you follow on social media, how your relationships will evolve and how to have difficult conversations. Listen to today's show for valuable relationship insights and tools you can start using today! In this episode with Dr. Jennifer Gunsaullus we discuss relationship advice topics that include: Why the early stages of a relationship can be so easy compared to longer term relating Recognizing if you are serial monogamist and what to do about it Social media's negative impact on your relationship and unfollowing exes How to be more vulnerable in all of your relationships Bringing up difficult conversations with your partner and how to do it effectively And much more! Sponsored Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Codependency can feel difficult to navigate whether it's you or your partner displaying codependent behaviors. Listen to today's show for valuable tips and insights into dealing with the difficult emotions codependency can cause and start learning how to heal today! In this episode with Dr. Nicholas Jenner we discuss relationship advice topics that include: Traits of codependency and the different types of codependents Why people may develop codependency How to begin healing your codependency or support a codependent partner Working toward personal autonomy in a relationship while still feeling safe How to examine your childhood to heal and grow through codependency The importance of setting boundaries in a codependent relationship And much more! Sponsored BetterHelp is an online therapy platform that will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. Start living a happier life today and get 10% off your first month by visiting BetterHelp.com/IDO. FIELD OF GREENS is a whole, organic fruit and vegetable supplement that provides real nutrition to support energy, sleep, and overall health. Go to FieldsOfGreen.com and use promo code "IDO" to get 15% off your first order and FREE rush shipping. Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Love is a verb and so is intimacy. It takes practice and dedication to have a thriving, intimate relationship. Listen to today's show to learn actionable tips to grow a deep connection in your relationship today! In this episode with Dr. Joy Berkheimer we discuss relationship advice topics that include: Dealing with perfectionist blocks to intimacy How to access your full pleasure Communication tips for a thriving sex life and relationship What to do if you're not feeling desired in your relationship Normalizing sexual behaviors And much more! Sponsored Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There are many factors that influence how we think, act and feel about sexuality. Understanding these factors can help us improve our relationships with our own sexuality and those we are intimate with. Listen to today's show for valuable insights and actionable tips! In this episode with Danielle Savory we discuss relationship advice topics that include: Understanding what is going on in your brain around sexuality Deconstructing the 'should' of sex and other cultural misinformation How to communicate and deal with if you or your partner are "too tired to have sex" Why you should start planning and scheduling sex with your partner How to be OK with disappointing your partner or others Standing up for yourself if you're a people pleaser And much more! Sponsored Quince is committed to making exceptionally high-quality essentials available at a price within reach. Because everyone deserves to fill their life with the finer things. Go to QUINCE.COM/IDO for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A lot of what is talked about in the relationship space, including this podcast, involves the psychological side of relationships. However, a huge part of personal development can come from learning to regulate your nervous system and become more embodied. Listen to today's show for valuable tips and insights to begin this part of your journey. In this episode with Karden Rabin we discuss relationship advice topics that include: Analyzing the sensations in our body to regulate emotions How to transform your fight or flight response with embodiment exercises The practice of finding your body when you're losing your mind The benefit of approaching your healing through the body instead of always through the mind Recognizing the signs of cumulative stress in your body How to break the habit of overactive defense mechanisms And much more! Sponsored Amazfit is your own personal health management expert on your wrist. Head over to AMAZFIT.COM/IDO to get 15% off with the promo code "IDO". Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As a relationship progresses most people will inevitably become more comfortable and complacent. In order to have a thriving long term relationship, we must take deliberate steps to avoid complacency, resentment and a loss of connection. Listen to today's show to learn the tools that will help you stay connected and create a loving and lasting relationship. In this episode with Penny McGoey we discuss relationship advice topics that include: Why it's important to remember that sometimes, "people change and forget to tell each other" How to use journaling to find out what is working and what is not in your relationship Getting clear and communicating what you want and need in your relationship The importance of nurturing gratitude in your relationship The value of making plans together and staying curious about your partner How Penny cultivated a positive mindset to be with "the best man I've ever known" And much more! Sponsored Amazfit is your own personal health management expert on your wrist. Head over to AMAZFIT.COM/IDO to get 15% off with the promo code "IDO". Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It may sound counterintuitive, but there are ways to embrace criticism to create more love in your relationship. Listen to today's show to learn how to navigate criticism and communication in a more productive, loving way. In this episode with Dr. Warren Farrel we discuss relationship advice topics that include: How to not be defensive when dealing with criticism The importance of dedicated communication time with your partner each week Why loving someone is an art and a discipline that does not just happen on it's own What to do if you feel your partner is not putting effort into the relationship How to create and sustain a conflict free zone in your relationship Using journaling to process your emotions before communicating with your partner And much more! Sponsored Amazfit is your own personal health management expert on your wrist. Head over to AMAZFIT.COM/IDO to get 15% off with the promo code "IDO". Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dating can feel overwhelming and challenging for many people. Navigating dating anxiety and fears can be easier when you have the right tools and awareness. Listen to today's show to learn the tools to date better while managing your anxiety and fears. In this episode with Alistair Wolfe we discuss relationship advice topics that include: Recognizing our innate desire for connection while not losing yourself while dating Early steps for dating success and important questions to ask yourself Setting realistic expectations for what dating and relationships should look like What to do if you feel there is a lack of effort when you're dating The importance of being honest with yourself during the different stages of dating And much more! Sponsored BetterHelp is an online therapy platform that will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. Start living a happier life today and get 10% off your first month by visiting BetterHelp.com/IDO. THESIS is a unique supplement with natural nootropic blends designed to enhance cognitive health and support memory over time. Head over to TakeThesis.com/IDO to take the free 3-minute quiz to find out what your brain needs and use code IDO to get $60 off your first subscription order when you sign up for Thesis. FIELD OF GREENS is a whole, organic fruit and vegetable supplement that provides real nutrition to support energy, sleep, and overall health. Go to FieldsOfGreen.com and use promo code "IDO" to get 15% off your first order and FREE rush shipping. Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Money is one of the biggest causes of relationship conflict and divorce. Money can also be a personal strain that causes a great deal of stress and anxiety. Listen to today's show to learn how to get your finances in order and gain a deeper understanding of your relationship to money. In this episode with Ben Hockema we discuss relationship advice topics that include: The different ways we think about money and the importance of understanding this for yourself and your partner Why we create different money mindsets and the biases we carry around money Creating agreements around money that work for your relationship Why some people look at money to increase security and others want to use it for experiences How to create real systems for your money management Understanding and communicating your goals around money And much more! Sponsored Amazfit is your own personal health management expert on your wrist. Head over to AMAZFIT.COM/IDO to get 15% off with the promo code "IDO" Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Betrayal is one of the hardest things to move through in life and relationships. Working toward forgiveness is a key factor in the healing process. Listen to today's show to learn how to deal with betrayal, integrate it and forgive. In this episode with Dr. Bruce Chalmer we discuss relationship advice topics that include: Learning what exactly is betrayal and forgiveness Why forgiveness is so hard How to manage the initial shock of betrayal Different ways to think about forgiveness How to deal with the fear that you may be betrayed again How to integrate pain and betrayal and rebuild trust And much more! Sponsored Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our childhood, religion, culture and many other factors all influence how we view sex and relationships as adults. Listen to today's show to better understand how these things have impacted your views so that you can take an informed approach to improving your sex and relationships. In this episode with Ann Russo we discuss relationship advice topics that include: Religions impact on how we think about relationships How to understand our past and get to our authentic sexual selves Unpacking the cultural and religious messaging that women are not sexual Why we've been taught that women's sexuality is dangerous Promiscuity biases between men and women Shame around sex and how to create empowerment How to cultivate a flexible mindset and change your mind about sex and other relationship topics And much more! Sponsored BetterHelp is an online therapy platform that will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. Start living a happier life today and get 10% off your first month by visiting BetterHelp.com/IDO. Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Some might say that the secret to happiness is managing your expectations. If you are operating with unrealistic expectations and frameworks, you can expect to be constantly disappointed and upset. LIsten to today's show to learn how to become aware of your thinking and create frameworks that serve you and your happiness. In this episode with Nneka Symister we discuss relationship advice topics that include: How to change your frameworks and expectations Social media's negative impact on relationships and expectations How to understand what it is that you want in a relationship The importance of creating agreements in your relationship and following through with them Why you must acknowledge that you will unintentionally hurt your partner and they will unintentionally hurt you as well And much more! Sponsored Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Defining your purpose in life and aligning it with your relationship is a big task. First we must get clear on many things and ask ourselves important questions. Listen to today's show to learn how to live a meaningful life and while thriving in your relationship. In this episode with Molly Fletcher we discuss relationship advice topics that include: Important questions to ask yourself when performing an 'alignment audit'’ How to live into the most authentic version of yourself How to avoid complacency in your relationship The value in anticipating our partner's needs Getting clear on the legacy you want to leave behind And much more! Sponsored Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices