Sex Out Loud with Tristan Taormino

Dr. Megan Stubbs joins Tristan Taormino to talk about her book Playing Without A Partner: A Single’s Guide to Sex, Dating, and Happiness (Cleis Press). They explore being single in the U.S. today, body mapping and acceptance, sex with near strangers, and how to live your best single life. Special thanks to Dipsea and Intensity by Pour Moi for their support of this episode.

Comedian and co-host of the popular podcast Sex Talk With My Mom, Cam Poter joins Tristan Taormino to catch up and cover as many topics as they can! They talk about pandemic sex, polyamory, dating apps, the relationship escalator, talking about sex with your mom, and the complex magic of kissing (and why it’s sometimes underrated). Special thanks to Dipsea and Lorals for their support of this episode.

Political theorist Lorna Bracewell joins Tristan Taormino to discuss her new book Why We Lost the Sex Wars: Sexual Freedom in the #MeToo Era. Bracewell breaks down what has been lost in the history of the sex wars and creates a revisionist history which breaks down the narrative of only two “sides” (anti-pornography feminists and sex-radical feminists), reveals how classic liberal ideas infiltrated the arguments of the time, and why the voices of women of color are unrepresented in the history. She connects the contentious time for feminism, sexual politics, and free speech with the current era of #MeToo, Slut Walks, and trigger warnings. Special thanks to Calm and Dipsea for their support of this episode.

Dr. Marie Thouin joins Tristan Taormino to talk about her research on compersion in non-monogamous relationships. She defines compersion as “our wholehearted participation in the happiness of others. It is the sympathetic joy we feel for somebody else, even when their positive experience does not involve or benefit us directly. Thus, compersion can be thought of as the opposite of jealousy and possessiveness.” They discuss compersion as a feeling, a practice, and a goal and some practical ways to access it. Dr. Thouin holds a PhD from the California Institute of Integral Studies.⁠ She is the founder of Love InSight, a mindful dating and relationship coaching practice where she supports growth-minded people of all backgrounds and relationship styles to foster soulful, intentional love. Special thanks to Manscaped and Lorals for their support of this episode.

Professors and longtime scholars on sex work Barb Brents and Ron Weitzer join Tristan Taormino to talk about their work with Scientists for Sex Worker Rights. They talk about hysteria and lack of solid research around sex trafficking, the fight to decriminalize sex work, and what’s happening on the local level in various states. Barb Brents is a co-author of Paying for Sex in the Digital Age (One World/Random House) and The State of Sex: Tourism, Sex and Sin in the New American Heartland (New York University Press). Ron Weitzer is the editor of the anthology Sex For Sale (Routledge). Special thanks to Dipsea and Manscaped for their support of this episode.

Michael Lowenthal reads from his new book Sex with Strangers (University of Wisconsin Press) and he and Tristan talk about the polymorphous perversity of the stories which include a sexy hook up for aging gay man, a hot priest and some surprising confessions, and an unexpected honeymoon night. They also reminisce about missing LGBTQ bookstores, the rise of LGBTQ publishing, and other tales from the 1990s. Michael is the author of four novels: The Same Embrace, Avoidance, Charity Girl (a New York Times Book Review “Editors’ Choice” and Washington Post “Top Fiction of 2007” pick), and The Paternity Test (an Indie Next List selection and a Lambda Literary Award finalist). Special thanks to Manscaped and Pour Moi for their support of this episode.

Sagan Morrow, author of the Polyamorous Passions romcom series, and Tristan Taormino talk about the evolution of romance novels, breaking new ground with different love and relationship styles, grappling with common polyamorous challenges, and the power of representation. In addition to writing, Sagan helps other multi-passionate creatives and solopreneurs save 10+ hours every single week, maximize productivity based on their personality, and take strategic action to finally achieve their dreamy goals—without burning out. Special thanks to Manscaped and Intensity by Pour Moi for their support of this episode.

Lucie Fielding joins Tristan Taormino to talk about her new book, Trans Sex: Clinical Approaches to Trans Sexualities and Erotic Embodiments (Routledge). She argues we must move beyond trans narratives that are defined by trauma, oppression, genitals, sexual loss, and sexual function. She urges us to reject cis heteronormative ideas about bodies (“The presence of a part should not necessarily lead one to presume that an individual wishes that part interacted with in culturally prescribed ways”). Lucie offers real tools for clinicians and gender non conforming clients to embrace erotic embodiment, discover their desires, and redefine sexual satisfaction. Plus, she and Tristan chat about what cis gender folks can learn from trans people about embodiment, desire, sex, and sexuality. Special thanks to Manscaped and Lorals for their support of this episode.

Stella Harris joins Tristan Taormino and they chat about a favorite subject: threesomes! Harris has the goods in her new book The Ultimate Guide to Threesomes which explores everything from myths and common pitfalls to logistics and power dynamics. Tristan and Stella do a deeper dive into the subject, talking about how to take baby steps, setting expectations, finding other folks, and unicorns. Stella even tells us how to explore a threesome fantasy without other people! Stella Harris is a Certified Intimacy Educator and Sex Coach who uses a variety of tools to guide and empower her clients and she teaches everything from pleasure anatomy, to communication skills, to kink and BDSM. Stella is also the author of Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships. Special thanks to Pour Moi and Dipsea for their support of this episode.

Torrey Peters joins Tristan Taormino to talk about her national bestselling novel Detransition, Baby (One World/Random House). They talk about her unapologetic approach to writing the book (“I wrote this book for trans women”), the sex scenes that Tristan loved, being seen, multiple kinds of transitions, gender anxiety, community, bad decisions, womanhood, and motherhood. And they roll around with the question: how did such a trans and queer book become a mainstream runaway bestseller? Torrey Peters is the author of Detransition, Baby as well as the novellas Infect Your Friends and Loved Ones and The Masker. She also holds an MFA from the University of Iowa and a Masters in Comparative Literature from Dartmouth. Torrey rides a pink motorcycle and splits her time between Brooklyn and an off-grid cabin in Vermont. Special thanks to Lorals and Pour Moi for their support of this episode.

Vic Liu joins Tristan Taormino to kick off Masturbation May and talk about her new book Bang! Masturbation for All Genders and Abilities (published by Microcosm Press). They cover masturbation stigma, double standards, myths, including other people’s voices, and the creation of this book through design. Then Tristan’s friend Tonya stops for some real talk about jerking off and her honest review of the Satisfyer Curvy. This episode is brought to you by Satisfyer in honor of Masturbation May!

Leanne, the creator of Poly Philia joins Tristan Taormino to discuss her sex-positive personal blog and meme page dedicated to polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, and personal growth in open relationships. With some of Leanne’s memes reaching hundreds of thousands of people, they discuss the power of memes to validate, entertain, correct misconceptions, inspire discussion, and even change minds. Leanne talks about when she uses humor and pop culture and when she is more serious and political. She answers the question: are memes a tool of the revolution? Leanne is the audiobook narrator of four books on polyamory, and hopes to make more audiobooks on polyamory accessible to a wider audience. She has been practicing ethical non-monogamy for five years and is keen to educate and raise awareness about the relationship style online. Special thanks to Pour Moi and Dipsea.

The incomparable sexual health rock star Dr. Ina Park joins Tristan Taormino to talk about her new book Strange Bedfellows: Adventures in the Science, History, and Surprising Secrets of STDs (Flatiron Books)—a fascinating, readable page-turner! The history of sexually transmitted infections is full of fascinating characters, stories, and, of course, sex. In addition to the past, Dr. Park gives us on the low down on the current state of STDs/STIs in the U.S including: the significance of sexual networks, why providers don’t test for herpes as part of a basic STD panel, pap smears for your butt, Super Gonorrhea, U=U, and PrEP. You’d never know a show about sexually transmitted infections could be so compelling! Thanks to Dipsea and Calm for their support of this episode.

Arielle Greenberg joins Tristan Taormino to talk about her latest book, I Live in the Country & Other Dirty Poems (Four Way Books). Arielle gives listeners a taste of her dirty mind as she reads several poems from this wonderful collection. They talk about her move from a big city to a small town in the country, the opening of her marriage, and how that affected her life and relationships. They go over many of the themes of the book: animals and primal instincts, rough sex, queerness, polyamory, motherhood, and reconciling her desire for submission with her feminist beliefs. These poems can be heady, hedonistic, or both—from naughty schoolgirl outfits and on-your-knees BJs to takedowns of slut shaming and heteronormativity. Arielle is the author of five collections of poetry and the creative nonfiction book Locally Made Panties and co-author, with Rachel Zucker, of Home/Birth: A Poemic. She has also co-edited three literary anthologies and her poems and essays have been featured in Best American Poetry, Labor Day: True Birth Stories by Today’s Best Women Writers and The Racial Imaginary, among other anthologies. Thanks to Pour Moi and Calm for their support of this episode.

Dr. Heather Berg joins Tristan Taormino to talk about her groundbreaking book Porn Work: Sex, Labor, and Late Capitalism. Berg analyzes the work of porn performers, producers, and directors through the lens of Marxist feminist thought to truly dive into the complexities of the work of porn. She details how porn is similar to other gig economy jobs and also uniquely different. She covers some of the elements of her research and book including life on a porn set, manager/worker tensions, the role of authenticity, plus what she calls underwear dialectics—all while centering the voices and experiences of the dozens of porn workers she interviewed. Learn how performers have become their own producers and the many ways they hack the system to resist categorization and have more freedom. Dr. Heather Berg is assistant professor of women, gender, and sexuality studies at Washington University in St. Louis. She writes about sexuality, labor, and social struggle. Special thanks to Pour Moi and Calm for their support of this episode.

Beatrice Dixon, Founder and CEO of The Honey Pot Company joins Tristan Taormino to tell her story about how a case of bacterial vaginosis led her to found a multi-million company. She talks talk about entrepreneurship, disrupting the “feminine hygiene” industry, and making natural products for vulvas and vaginas. She shares what kind of sex education information and sexual attitudes she was exposed to growing up and how they inform her approach today. Dixon was 1 of the first 40 women of color to raise $1M in venture capital and talks about the importance of building Black economic wealth. She discusses how Target launched her brand and the backlash against her commercial for them. She is a straight talker who gives us all plenty of food for thought. Thanks to Pour Moi and Calm for their support of this episode.

Julia Rothman and Shaina Feinberg join host Tristan Taormino to talk about the book they co-created Every Body: An Honest and Open Look at Sex From Every Angle. In it, they collected hundreds of stories about sex both anonymously and credited which they share in this delightful book. It covers every conceivable topic from first times to hook ups to mental health and polyamory to BDSM and pegging. They talk about the process of collecting the stories, which included asking strangers on the street to share their sex stories. They discuss the challenges, joy, and takeaways from the process of talking to so many people about their sex lives. For Julia, she felt less alone after collecting all the interviews. Shaina said the book “changed her brain.” Find out why. Julia Rothman and Shaina Feinberg are constant collaborators. Their illustrated column, Scratch, runs every other Sunday in The New York Times. They have also collaborated on illustrated stories for The New Yorker, Topic and other publications. Julia is the author and/or illustrator of twelve books, including Nature Anatomy, Ladies Drawing Night, and Hello, New York. In 2017, she cofounded, with Wendy MacNoughton, Women Who Draw, an open directory of female-identifying illustrators, artists, and cartoonists. Shaina is a writer/director who has created content for the The New York Times, IFC, Audible, Refinery29, First Look Media, This American Life, and BRICTV. Both Shaina and Julia live in Brooklyn. Thanks to Calm and Pour Moi for their support of this episode.

Licensed acupuncturist and herbalist Christine DeLozier joins Tristan Taormino to talk about her book Diet for Great Sex: Food for Male and Female Sexual Health. Christine talks about how what we eat affects what she calls “the holy trinity of great sex”—hormonal balance, nerve integrity and vascular health. Her approach to sexual health and sexual issues exists outside of Western medicine. She covers what foods, vitamins, and herbs can help us improve our hormone balance, nerve impulses, blood vessels, and circulation. Plus, she reveals what she considers the most super superfood (it’s not what you think). Note: this book is body-positive and not about losing weight. Christine attended the University of Rochester, studying Biology and Psychology. As a young single mom, she worked as a waitress and studied full-time. Christine holds Master’s degrees in Acupuncture, Traditional Chinese Medicine, and Counseling. During her education, she studied Chinese dietary therapy, and earned a certification as a Holistic Nutritional Counselor. Special thanks to Calm and Sakara for their support of this episode.

Veteran adult performer, director, writer, and producer Joanna Angel and host Tristan Taormino sit down for a frank, funny discussion that spans 15+ years of friendship. They talk about when they first met, Joanna’s early days stripping, relationships with non-performers and performers, and her life as a groundbreaking woman who’s been in the adult industry for 20 years. Then Joanna reads from her second book, Club 42: A Choose Your Own Erotic Fantasy from Cleis Press which tells the story of newbie stripper Naomi as she makes her way in a brand new world. Learn what the “blackmail dry hump” is! This was recorded in front of a live studio audience on Zoom in February, and plenty of audience members had questions for Joanna. Thanks to Calm and Dipsea for their support. Also thanks to Cleis Press and Fleshlight for sponsoring the prize giveaways.

New York Times “Modern Love” essayist and author Leslie Lehr joins Tristan Taormino to talk about her new book A Boob’s Life: How America’s Obsession with Breasts Shaped me…and You (Pegasus Books). The book has just been optioned for an HBO Max series by Salma Hayek! They discuss how breasts played a central role throughout Leslie’s life, from flat-chested adolescent to breastfeeding mom to divorcee with breast implants all the way to breast cancer survivor. Along the way, Leslie details her childhood, marriage, divorce, relationships, and her ongoing struggle with her boobs and body acceptance. Leslie Lehr is a prize-winning author, essayist, and the Novel Consultant for Truby’s Writers Studio. Special thanks to Calm and Sakara for their support of this episode.